Due to the fact that I'd essentially been living away from home since I was 14 (with not even a year inbetween programs with my father) I'd say... disconnected. I didn't need them any more emotionally. It's tough, because my mom certainly doesn't deserve that. She's always stood by me, and had she known how horrible that place was, she'd have pulled me, and she said so.
But nobody knew.
Not even me.
My dad can go to hell, though. Not exclusively because of his decision to place me, just because he's a cold-assed pain in the ass. My sister has the same problem with him, and she wasn't sent anywhere, so it's obviously His Problem, not ours.
After I left, I couldn't get to college and away from him fast enough. (I was living with him.) Summer break between freshman and softmore year, I found a minimum wage job and a sublet that same week, and moved out on father's day. After that, I only visited for christmas (both parents) once, and I swore I'd never go back.
And I haven't. They come out here if they want to see me. I fully acknowledge that I am a selfish bastard regarding this as well. But it's how my brain is wired at this point. I just don't feel anything. And when I go for months without returning their calls, it's valid that they worry. I have to literally force myself to care, and that's not fair to them.
It's been 20 years, you can't pay for your past mistakes and transgressions against your child forever. (unless it's something inexcusable like molestation) I wish I could rewire how I feel, or don't feel. The only thing I feel is that I'm a jerkface.