Easy:
Any possible thing that could float through your brain that wasn't conducive to the program..... that was thinking.
Even negative thinking. While not directly subversive and on the surface, strives to make you feel as shitty about yourself as the staff do. The program demonizes it because most of the self-hating thoughts that we endured were either created or exacerbated by the program. If they actually bothered to explore where those thoughts came from, it could possibly trace back to them. So what do they do? They make you scream and cry and tell it to fuck off. That's it. No insight. No understanding. And the cause in the program's eyes? Almost always traced back to a pet issue that they have assigned the student. divorce, death of relative/friend, adoption, drug abuse, etc. AND, on top of that, the pet issue is also often a complete and total fabrication to begin with!!! "Do you feel worthless? Kind of like that time you sucked an epileptic organ grinder's dead monkey's cock out by the abandoned ferris wheel for a hit of ecstasy, right? How does that make your little girl feel? Come on, give her a voice."
Fabricated or not, it is a total fucking red herring.
Didn't you hate it when sometimes the staff would arbitrarily stop you before you got to that point and tell you really needed to sit in that feeling.
OMG I totally forgot about that!! They would say "No! We're moving on. Just sit in it." Caroline was notorious for that. I would say that it's essentially the cult version of a cock-tease maneuver. But I am actually reminded of something else...
One thing that is sometimes used in torture is what is known as a false execution. They blindfold the prisoner, put him up against the wall, and then have anywhere from one torturer to an entire firing squad
shoot him with blanks. The prisoner almost always falls to the ground, totally freaked out, thinking he has been shot.
In both instances, you are anticipating that something traumatic is going to happen, and then it doesn't.
And as we all know, the alternative to the anticipated traumatic event is almost just as awful. Why? Because you are stuck in some shithole out in the middle of nowhere, and whether you are a soldier who is getting the worst brand of grade A torture in a POW camp, or you are trapped in a cult, or stuck at a TBS, the fact of the matter is, you are surrounded by shit. Everything is shit, and you are trapped in a world of shit. If shit A doesn't happen in a rap, then the shit B you are stuck with isn't much better. Could even be worse. "Wait, you mean I'm not dead? The squad used blanks? Oh joy. More time in my cell while someone peels my fingernails back."