Patriot,
I had a good friend and onetime roommate drink himself to death (literally--he had survived a .68 yeah, you read it right, .68 BAC, was in a coma for a week , got out of the hospital and started driniking again) and it is not pretty.
I know the Straight stuff can get you down, particularly when you're in a relationship with someone who has no idea whatsoever what happened to us there. You are not alone in being alone, if that makes any sense.
Do you smoke pot? It really is a llot less destructive to the body than drinking, and a LOT of people from here say that it has helped them deal with the Straight shit. I'm not talking about the chronic drugusers here, I'm talking about people who don't do any other drugs but pot. Maybe it would help. It's worth a try, at least, if you are already having health problems from alcohol.
Try to step back for a minute, don't let yourself be forced into reacting in a way you don't want to, or that will juswt cause more problems for you and yours later. You just became a grandpa, that's gotta give you some kind of incentive, you will want to be there when they are growing up, not just a vague memorry or a warning story" Yeah, your grandfather drank too much" or whatever. You seem like a pretty smart guy who can get focusedc on things when you really want to....there's nothing in the worlsd that has happened to you yet that is worth going out in a puke-filled, piss on yourself drunken stupor. It ain't pretty, it's actually pretty fucking sickening when you see it really happening. Hardcore alcoholics are worse off than junkies, you really don't want to go there. THe fact that you are able to post about it indicatwes that you are not too far gone on the shit yet. You can be., if you want to, but I don't think that'sd your style. I think you've got a bit too much pride to let yourself go that far. I hope so.
Things do get rough from time to time, and that sucks. But I think you can deal with it, without drinking yourself into oblivion. It ain't easy, but it's doable.
I don't have any great words of wisdom or anything, I just hope you get whatever it is figuired out. A little weed probably wouldn't hurt you, and might save your life. What have you go t to lose?