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Offline Anonymous

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So what should I do
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2006, 01:33:00 PM »
ok, so i agree the kid appears to be a mess from what the parent says here. she probably needs some more direction, however i dont think every step must be harsh to accomplish anything. i dont know this girl, but i can identify with some of her actions. i whored myself for fucking heroin at that age (not proud by the way) but i can pretty much garentee if someone had reached out to help me in a manner that wasnt punitive, and indeed contained a 'fun' element, as a 12 year old i personally would have jumped on it. as in summer camp/wilderness style short term program. seriously though, people dont give their kids credit enough. they suffer over their own problems without being confronted. many get better with no or little intervention, simply by reflecting and growing up. some need a little extra. psychiatric observation might be an option if everything else has failed, but long-term coersive treatment can only harm, especially a child that young.
i've never been to any of these type programs, but my fiancee has and from what i've learned, it seriously would not benefit a child in yours' condition..or any for that matter.
~j.
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Offline wild fig

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So what should I do
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2006, 01:34:00 PM »
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On 2006-05-02 10:27:00, CCM girl 1989 wrote:

"Exorcism?"


Is there any reason for sarcasm?  This woman is asking for advice and is getting some fairly reasonable responses.. and then you have to get cynical.  Save it.
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Offline wild fig

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So what should I do
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2006, 01:41:00 PM »
Hindsight is 20/20.  Do you think you would have liked giving up the heroin and the sex for canoeing and archery?  Kids that are in this kind of trouble are scared and don't have the confidence to make a change from the adult world back to where they belong.  How do you think this little girl would respond to her bunkmates at YMCA Camp?  The solution need not be punitive but I do believe more will be required to help this child than some fun in the sun.
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2006, 01:45:00 PM »
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I am not familiar with the specific outward bound programs you speak of, but you will need something with a therapeutic component to address the issues she has been trying to deal with and get past.


uh, why not try a reputable child psychologist in your town?  maybe some family therapy.  this kid din't get messed up on her own.  it takes bad parenting to kick off the problem.
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Offline wild fig

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« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2006, 01:51:00 PM »
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On 2006-05-02 10:45:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

I am not familiar with the specific outward bound programs you speak of, but you will need something with a therapeutic component to address the issues she has been trying to deal with and get past.




uh, why not try a reputable child psychologist in your town?  maybe some family therapy.  this kid din't get messed up on her own.  it takes bad parenting to kick off the problem."


That is not always true.  Lots of really good, concerned, loving parents have children with these types of problems.  Why would you attack someone that has come here for genuine advice?  You might be mad at your own parents but there's no need to make assumptions about this woman.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2006, 01:56:00 PM »
This entire thread is trollbait. Complete bullshit.
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Offline Sue Your Ass Off Scheff

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« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2006, 02:08:00 PM »
Go to my website and/or give me a call. I promise to give you only PURE options for PURE treatment for your daughter.
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Offline The Liger

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So what should I do
« Reply #22 on: May 02, 2006, 02:12:00 PM »
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On 2006-05-02 10:56:00, Anonymous wrote:

"This entire thread is trollbait. Complete bullshit. "


Agreed.
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #23 on: May 02, 2006, 02:14:00 PM »
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On 2006-05-02 10:51:00, wild fig wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-05-02 10:45:00, Anonymous wrote:


"
Quote


I am not familiar with the specific outward bound programs you speak of, but you will need something with a therapeutic component to address the issues she has been trying to deal with and get past.







uh, why not try a reputable child psychologist in your town?  maybe some family therapy.  this kid din't get messed up on her own.  it takes bad parenting to kick off the problem."




That is not always true.  Lots of really good, concerned, loving parents have children with these types of problems.  Why would you attack someone that has come here for genuine advice?  You might be mad at your own parents but there's no need to make assumptions about this woman."


These kids don't grow up in a vacuum.

Trying to treat the kid by isolating him/her from the family simply doesn't work.  I'd suggest a good community-based treatment plan that involves the parents and siblings.  FFT has been shown to be the most effective modality for treating adolescents and their families.

Sending the kid away to a program won't help.  There is copious scientific evidence available that clearly shows that this approach is at best ineffective and at worst incredibly damaging.

Unless, of course, you consider a 75% recidivism rate and high potential for PTSD and other psychsocial and physical maladies successful or acceptable.
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Offline Anonymous

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So what should I do
« Reply #24 on: May 02, 2006, 02:14:00 PM »
it all depends on the individual circumstance i suppose, but i'm sure that for me, it would have been great. maybe not the paragon of summer fun at first, there being rules of course, but it could be a real wake-up on the kids level. 'this is how other kids live, what the fuck have i been doing?' sort of thing. i understand the difficulty in interacting with kids whose lives are far different, but in a lot of cases it might be a good way of resocialing without rigid vice-like controls being placed on acceptable thought and behavior.

i'd say give the kid a copy of walden and send her off to camp, but maybe thats pushing it.
~j.
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #25 on: May 02, 2006, 02:20:00 PM »
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SUWS of the Carolinas (Therapeutic wilderness camp) is an excellent place to stabilize some children.


Read the SUWS thread.  There are lots of horror stories about this place and it is run by AEG, a parent company well-known for it's abusive facilities and practices.

I wouldn't take mental health advice from a customer service worker...

Maybe you should consult with an established child psychologist first, then start researching.
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Offline BSarro

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So what should I do
« Reply #26 on: May 02, 2006, 02:21:00 PM »
I think Tranquility Bay is a great option.
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Offline TheWho

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So what should I do
« Reply #27 on: May 02, 2006, 02:38:00 PM »
There have been a lot of good points brought up here.  It seems most agree that your daughter should get evaluated in your locality first.  You know your daughter better than anyone else and could help assess if being away from her home environment would do her more harm than good, some kids don?t do well if sent away, others do extremely well when removed from stimuli that is causing this.  This could also be discussed as a topic during her evaluation with a local therapist.
The fact that you are here shows you are not a bad parent, so don?t take offense by some of the comments you get here.  If you didn?t care and let her continue on her, self destructive course, that may raise an eyebrow, in my opinion.
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Offline CCM girl 1989

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So what should I do
« Reply #28 on: May 02, 2006, 02:42:00 PM »
Why not just invite the world into your home, and turn it into reality T.V. show?
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f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.

Offline CCM girl 1989

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So what should I do
« Reply #29 on: May 02, 2006, 02:45:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-05-02 10:56:00, Anonymous wrote:

"This entire thread is trollbait. Complete bullshit. "


Exactly, or else I wouldn't be being a total sarcastic bitch!
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f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.
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