Author Topic: sexual misconduct  (Read 15303 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2006, 05:39:00 PM »
http://www.ageofconsent.com/maine.htm

  19 in Maine my friend. Statutory rape, whether she was willing of not.  So in your view it was O.K. for Joe to have a relation with Dream Weaver?  Was it OK for him to make a pass at my Mom while there was a client provider relationship?

  BTW Sid is not my real name.  There was a Sid at Hyde.

Sid
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2006, 06:20:00 PM »
>>She knew exactly what she was doing.

?????

 Are you Sabina? How do you know what her mental process was?  Did her parents know they were shelling out 7k (pre Jimmy Carter Dollars folks) a year to have their daughter schtuped by a man twice her age?

Sid
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2006, 07:07:00 PM »
Here's a curious thing ...

Google "abuse" on http://www.hyde.edu and you get one hit.

Is that one hit a discussion of the school's policies for handling allegations of abuse (sexual, physical, emotional)?

No.

The one hit is a discussion of "alleged  sexual abuse" at _another_ prep school:

"Date: January 13, 2006
Subject: Private Schools and Public Purpose
 An article about St. Paul's School (SPS) in Concord, NH, in the January 2006 issue of Vanity Fair has sparked some spirited discussions among folks in the independent school world. "A Private School Affair," by SPS alum Alex Shoumatoff, delves into the multi-faceted air of scandal, peppered with hazing incidents as well as financial and alleged sexual abuse, which has clung to one of America's most prestigious boarding schools in recent years ..."

OK ... so does this discussion "spark" a "spirited discussion" of similar issues of scandal, hazing, and abuse (sexual and otherwise) at The Hyde School through the years?

No.

It "sparks" a "spirited discussion" of Hyde's entry into the charter school business in New York. "The time has come for us to apply some deliberate and careful scrutiny to the altar we have constructed in the name of diversity. ... Despite our modest means, we have been able to found two public schools, assist in the operation of several others, and we have received tentative approval to open a charter school in Harlem next year. The charter school movement might just be a new frontier for some of America's most established private schools."

Hmmmm ... if St. Paul's School is apologizing for years of faculty abuse of students, and Hyde School isn't even investigating, let alone apologizing, then why exactly is it that we ought to enthusiastically endorse this charter school movement?

Here is the Boston Globe article about the incidents that touched off the Vanity Fair article:

"Prep school apologizes for faculty abuse of students
December 9, 2005

CONCORD, N.H. --Prestigious St. Paul's School has apologized for faculty abuse of students years ago and asked any victims who have not come forward to do so now.

"To the alumni who came forward, and to any others who may have been harmed, I want to apologize on behalf of the school," interim Rector William Matthews wrote in the school newsletter and a guest newspaper column this week.

Matthews also reached out to other victims.

"These stories, as difficult as they are to tell and to hear, are necessary steps in order to help individual and institutional healing, and further to help ensure what happened does not happen again," Matthews wrote Thursday in the Concord Monitor.

The article appeared a few days after early copies of an article in Vanity Fair's January edition began circulating. The article, by St. Paul's graduate Alex Shoumatoff, says a woman attending her 25th reunion in 2000 told classmates that a popular faculty member tried to sexually assault her when she was a senior. She said she fled.

Her experience, which she said she had never talked about before, prompted discussions that brought more alleged assaults and attempted assaults to light, Vanity Fair said.

The classmates, some alleged victims, some not, launched an e-mail campaign interviewing other alumni. They went to the administration that fall with allegations of abuse ranging from unwanted advances to sexual assault by 29 teachers during a half-century extending into the early 1990s, Shoumatoff wrote. A delegation presented the findings, which included firsthand, signed allegations, to then-Rector Craig Anderson and the trustees.

"They said, `This is ancient history. It could never happen now,'" Ursula Holloman, '75, told the magazine.

Holloman, a screenwriter in Los Angeles, said the administration showed interest in only one man, a retired teacher who was then still active in school affairs.

"The dead and long-departed teachers they didn't care about. They never asked for the list," Holloman said.

Anderson, since retired, denied the account.

"I never said the incidents were ancient history," he said. "I said, `We want to do everything our power to ensure that this never happens again."

Matthews did not immediately return a phone call and e-mail seeking an interview Friday afternoon. In his column, which did not characterize the abuse as sexual, he also said the 2000 report from graduates was treated "with the utmost seriousness."

St. Paul's "pursued its own investigation, notified the appropriate authorities and proceeded to address people and policy matters that have made St. Paul's a better place," he said.

A call to the Attorney General's office Friday afternoon was referred to the police. Police, coping with a snowstorm, did not immediately return a call seeking comment.

Matthews said the school took action against two school employees or former employees.

"No faculty members of concern have been part of the faculty for some time, either having died before the disclosures or been immediately barred from the campus afterward, in the case of two people," he wrote.

"I want to assure everyone that St. Paul's School is a very safe place for adolescents," he added.

Vanity Fair said the school instituted a zero-tolerance policy for sexual abuse in the early 1990s.

Founded in 1856, the school has about 515 students in grades 9-12. Its graduates include Sen. John Kerry, last year's Democratic presidential nominee, and FBI Director Robert Mueller.

Two years ago, The Wall Street Journal disclosed that Anderson, an Episcopal bishop, had salary and benefits totaling $524,000 a year, which shocked many parents and graduates.

The disclosure prompted an Internal Revenue Service review, which continues, and a decision by the charitable division of the New Hampshire Attorney General's office to review the school's finances until 2008. Anderson and the vice rector also took 10 percent pay cuts.

An executive-search firm is helping the school find a permanent rector for next fall. Vanity Fair said a job description circulated this fall calls for someone to lead "with absolute integrity, humility and transparency" and to "counter the effects of negative publicity and restore the school's external reputation."
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #18 on: March 05, 2006, 09:09:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-03-05 04:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"First of all Sabina was 18 or almost 18 and had a relationship with Mr. T.  SHE WAS NOT RAPED!!  She knew exactly what she was doing.  Secondly. Mr. T and Mrs T did put some breathing room between themselves, but they are still together and doing extremely well.

Thirdly, Joe and Dream Weaver did have a relationship while that beauiful dancer was in college and Joe was divorced.  He got back together with his wife at the very end of her life to care for her while she died.

And lastly..is your real name Sid Smith...because I don't remember anyone with that name."

This defense sounds like someone from Hyde because it is a typical response.  Hyde doesn't know where to draw the ethical, and moral line.  Whether she was 16 or 18, doesn't matter.  Hyde was entrusted with her care.  Mr T was an authoritative figure who knew better.  This happens so often.  Priests, doctors, teachers!  We all know about how vulnerable some girls are especially those who have problems like many at Hyde.

As far as Joe, same thing.  He was an authoritative figure in this girls life and he took advantage of it. He is the head of the school and if this was setting a good example, then God help us all who go there!  If the apple doesn't fall far, then where does Malcolm fit into this?  

Check out the posts about Mr Dubinsky.  Same thing, but different years.  Sounds like the school hasn't changed at all.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #19 on: March 05, 2006, 09:18:00 PM »
It would be great if Sabina came to this board to let us know how she feels.  I bet she wouldn't feel so wonderful about being taken advantage of by an authoritative person who she trusted.  I also would be interested in knowing how the girl who Joe Gauld had an affair with, (allegedly) feels now that she is grown up.  Does anyone know how to get in touch with any of these girls?  Not that they would want to talk about it, but would be very interesting to see how they feel after the betrayal at such a young age.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2006, 09:29:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-03-05 18:18:00, Anonymous wrote:

"It would be great if Sabina came to this board to let us know how she feels.  I bet she wouldn't feel so wonderful about being taken advantage of by an authoritative person who she trusted.  I also would be interested in knowing how the girl who Joe Gauld had an affair with, (allegedly) feels now that she is grown up.  Does anyone know how to get in touch with any of these girls?  Not that they would want to talk about it, but would be very interesting to see how they feel after the betrayal at such a young age."


I don't know Sabina who was taken advantage of by a teacher, or the girl involved with Joe Gauld, but I do know about the girl who was molested by Mr Dubinsky.  The school handled it the same way as they always do, hush, hush, get the family outta there!

I suppose this "great defender" of Hyde will say that these things happen and it is normal.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2006, 10:34:00 PM »
This Dubinsky would't be Larry who is also a Hyde graduate?

Sid
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2006, 11:17:00 PM »
Yes, the same Larry Dubinsky who went to Hyde along with his wife Donna.  He was fired from the school after all the controversy with sexual harassment.  I heard that his wife Donna eventually divorced him and he is now working at a local store.  The only credentials he had to work at the school was that he was a former graduate.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2006, 01:42:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-05 20:17:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Yes, the same Larry Dubinsky who went to Hyde along with his wife Donna.  He was fired from the school after all the controversy with sexual harassment.  I heard that his wife Donna eventually divorced him and he is now working at a local store.  The only credentials he had to work at the school was that he was a former graduate."


Do any of you think Hyde is interested in improvement by understanding how many people they have hurt?  Do you think they are interested in hearing or reading about the harm they have caused? Is Joe or Malcolm Gauld capable of change?

I think it is beneficial for Hyde to understand that although they might have helped a handful with each graduating class, there are so many more that have not been helped as you can see from this website. We are hearing more and more people speak out about the lasting negative affect Hyde has had on their lives.  I for one feel ashamed. Ashamed that I allowed Hyde to push me into being a bully and a snitch.  I thought I was doing the right thing by following the program, but I now realize the harm I could have inflicted.

Yes there are some Hyde Followers but when looking at who they are there is a pattern. Many of them are former students and parents who need a religion or cult to function.  The few Hapa(alumni) parents who I know are either recovering addicts, completely dysfunctional, or emotionally crippled.  I now look back at the seminars and realize how each HAPA parent who facilitated them displayed very odd behavior.  Most were not functioning adults.  These are not people who have been HELPED by Hyde, but instead they are being HELD by Hyde.  Does this make sense to any of you?

Would love to hear how others feel about Hyde and about what I have expressed.
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Offline FHS

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« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2006, 01:46:00 PM »
On 2006-03-05 22:42:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Do any of you think Hyde is interested in improvement by understanding how many people they have hurt?  Do you think they are interested in hearing or reading about the harm they have caused? Is Joe or Malcolm Gauld capable of change?"

I don't think that they are capable of perceiving the incidents and emotions described on this website as "hurt" or "harm;" I think they tell themselves that these types of revelations are an expected and, in fact, healthy byproduct of Hyde's challenge to everyone to realize their best. I think they tell themselves that the complainants have sadly failed to respond with requisite character to the challenges that Hyde School has presented to them.

Therefore, I think that they see no reason to change in response to these revelations. To the contrary, I think they tell themselves it's everyone else (e.g., complaining former students, faculty, parents, the rest of society) that needs to change. For example, see Joe's letter to Hyde parents:

 (see http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... 160#149627 )

"Isn't Hyde Ever Wrong?"

"Of course Hyde is sometimes wrong. ... However, I think the question implies that maybe the parent and not Hyde knows better about a given situation ... This question simply does not respect the role Hyde is supposed to play in the family structure.  Since kids-and their parents-have been far more immersed in this counter growth culture than has Hyde, Hyde can be far more objective about how to best address the true final judge on growth issues. We are in a better position than parents to determine a student's true best, and further we consider our commitment to help each student realize that best a sacred truth."

On 2006-03-05 22:42:00, Anonymous wrote:

"We are hearing more and more people speak out about the lasting negative affect Hyde has had on their lives. I for one feel ashamed. Ashamed that I allowed Hyde to push me into being a bully and a snitch. I thought I was doing the right thing by following the program, but I now realize the harm I could have inflicted ... Does this make sense to any of you? Would love to hear how others feel about Hyde and about what I have expressed."

What you expressed makes perfect sense to me.
It's far more pleasant for me to experience feelings of anger toward Hyde than it is to experience my feelings of shame. I, too, feel ashamed of having caused harm, or at least increasing the potential for harm, to students and parents. I, too, feel ashamed of having been in thrall of Hyde School. I've been carrying those feelings around with me for a long time.

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
Former Hyde Staffer
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2006, 02:07:00 PM »
Wow! Your postings of Joe Gauld's letter about "Is Hyde Ever Wrong" says it all.  I have never seen that before, but after reading it there is no question in my mind that Hyde is not interested in change for themselves.

I feel such pain for the people on this board who have long lasting psychological effects from Hyde. I am like you, I feel more anger at myself for buying into the Hyde Program.  I have to take responsibility for putting myself in a position of allowing a group of people to con me into believing their teachings would cure all in the family! I see it so much more clearly now and am convinced that Hyde operate as a Cult.  All that one needs to do is to go to the Hyde website and look at their message board to know there is something very bizarre going on at these campuses.  They have insulated themselves into some kind strange commune  They all talk the same lingo, just like in a Cult.  It is spooky!  Wow, how did I ever get wrapped up in that?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #26 on: April 21, 2006, 11:37:00 PM »
when did all of this happen, can i find her picture in the year book, and what is "mr t's full name?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #27 on: April 22, 2006, 10:53:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-04-21 20:37:00, Anonymous wrote:

"when did all of this happen, can i find her picture in the year book, and what is "mr t's full name?"


74 - 75  Mr T's name is posted else where perhaps in this thread.  I am not sure I can spell it correctly: Thurell?

In his defense, I would have to say she would have been very hard to resist.

Sue Doenym
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #28 on: April 22, 2006, 04:43:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-22 07:53:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-04-21 20:37:00, Anonymous wrote:


"when did all of this happen, can i find her picture in the year book, and what is "mr t's full name?"




74 - 75  Mr T's name is posted else where perhaps in this thread.  I am not sure I can spell it correctly: Thurell?



In his defense, I would have to say she would have been very hard to resist.



Sue Doenym"


Although you are posting your name, Sue, you have to be a guy because a woman would not joke about a man in a position of power taking advantage of a young girl.  I don't care how much she asked for it or said she wanted to do whatever it was, a teacher, principal, or whatever has a responsibility and duty to his job and to the kids, not to take advantage of them.  We are talking about young girls who have various psychological problems, some as simple as being raised without a father.  This type of girl needs good examples in her life, not to see that a man would take advantage of her.  

You have said a lot of good things on this board Sue, but you are off track when it comes to this.  I don't see anything funny at all about Joe Gauld having an affair with a student or Larry Dubinsky running around campus getting a quick feel, taking pictures of only pretty girls, taking them off for the night, etc.

Don't mean to sound so angry, but I hope you will give some consideration to how these girls might feel later in life and think about the trust that was broken.

Problem with Hyde is they don't take these things seriously.  The strictly think about how to cover their butts.  I read on one of the posts how there is once again another problem with a teacher, (the music teacher) being sexually inappropriate with another student.  Guess we won't hear about that one either until someone posts it on this board.  When will Hyde learn to screen their teachers better, pay them enough to get decent ones, and take appropriate action when one of them steps over the line?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #29 on: April 23, 2006, 09:44:00 AM »
Quote

Although you are posting your name, Sue, you have to be a guy


I will confess to the ownership of a penis.  However I am in touch with my inner woman. She is a lesbian.  
I realized I was leaving my female voice when I posted that.  Good catch.
[/quote]

Quote
because a woman would not joke about a man in a position of power taking advantage of a young girl.

I was not joking. I remember her as a very beatiful and desirable young woman.  I have no idea how the relation happened.  I do know that if I was in Mr T's postion it would be a difficult decision. I know because I have been there myself, and had to make that call. I have been in a committed monogomous relation for over twenty years.  While I found the 15 year old in my personal temtation be very attactive, I had to decline her kind offer of sexual gratification.
 A great deal of male thought process occurs below the belt.


The power thing is real.  Most men do not realize the power aspect of these non-peer relations.  My Sig O does social work for a living and has sex offenders for clients.  I have been educated on the subject

Quote
I don't care how much she asked for it or said she wanted to do whatever it was, a teacher, principal, or whatever has a responsibility and duty to his job and to the kids, not to take advantage of them. We are talking about young girls who have various psychological problems, some as simple as being raised without a father. This type of girl needs good examples in her life, not to see that a man would take advantage of her.

No argument. Word, as the youngters say.

Quote
You have said a lot of good things on this board Sue, but you are off track when it comes to this. I don't see anything funny at all about Joe Gauld having an affair with a student or Larry Dubinsky running around campus getting a quick feel, taking pictures of only pretty girls, taking them off for the night, etc.

Thank you.  I try to be thoughful or funny or both at the same time.  The thing with Joe and A. vanH. was smarmy for the non-peer power aspect.

Quote
Don't mean to sound so angry, but I hope you will give some consideration to how these girls might feel later in life and think about the trust that was broken.

I absolutely know how they feel. I was brought up catholic.

Quote
Problem with Hyde is they don't take these things seriously. The strictly think about how to cover their butts. I read on one of the posts how there is once again another problem with a teacher, (the music teacher) being sexually inappropriate with another student. Guess we won't hear about that one either until someone posts it on this board. When will Hyde learn to screen their teachers better, pay them enough to get decent ones, and take appropriate action when one of them steps over the line?


I know very little about Hyde.  I will not defend the present incarnation of the same.  When I was there it work for me.  With that said it worked for me because of the things I learned dealing with the place, not because I got "it" as they used to say in E.S.T.. Some of the experiances were good, the summer program rowing the dorys the athletics were good for me.  I ski, ride mountain bike and fitness run.  I don't think I would be doing those things if I had not gone to Hyde.
I have talked to a couple of folks that were there when I was, off list.  They have told me of some really horrifing personal problems they had there. I flew under the radar when I was there. I never spoke in meetings.  I gave the bare minimum in seminars.  I never broke any of the rules.  So I was never the object of Joe's attention.

There you got me monologuing.

I got to bet back to work

A boy named sue
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