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Offline xvipah

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Without hate
« Reply #60 on: January 02, 2006, 08:19:00 PM »
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On 2006-01-02 15:42:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
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On 2006-01-01 00:12:00, Anonymous wrote:



Why not?





They're just people like we are.  So they happened to buy in to the program further than some others and went on to staff to try to help other kids as best they could, that doesn't make them some sort of enemy, or less human."




Why not?  Because I have this strange aversion to having a continuing relationship with people that abused the shit out of me.  "


Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that that every single staff member ever at LIFE abused you.

The last struggles of a great superstition are very frequently the worst.
--Andrew Dickson

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #61 on: January 02, 2006, 08:26:00 PM »
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On 2006-01-02 17:19:00, xvipah wrote:


Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that that every single staff member ever at LIFE abused you.


Did I say that?  However, I do think you gotta be some kinda crazy to even consider the notion of going on staff.  Whether or not they were physically abusive is irrelevant.  The emotional, mental and verbal abuses heaped upon the kids in there is enough for me to steer clear of anyone that voluntarily did that.  Not to say that I wouldn't speak with them.  I have done that.  I didn't scream and yell, I just talked and listened.  Lo and behold the ones I have spoken with who didn't see a problem with the place before had second, third and fourth thoughts about it after we spoke.  Amazing.  A lot of times it just takes someone pointing pulling one little card out and the whole house comes tumbling down.
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Offline xvipah

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« Reply #62 on: January 02, 2006, 08:58:00 PM »
Perhaps, but on the flip side, maybe some of these people went on staff because they just wanted to help.

I can understand you having little desire to correspond with someone who directly berated/belittled/humilated you, but every staff member is not one of those people.

Most people think the programs were brainwashing, so if it worked on someone to the point they went on staff I don't think that's some sort of reason to treat them as a pariah.  If someone wrote you who happened to be a guy/girl who punched you in the face while you were there, then I could understand the aversion.

The disrespect for the possession laws fosters a disrespect for laws and the system in general... On top of this is the distinct impression among the youth that some police may use the marihuana laws to arrest people they don't like for other reasons, whether it be their politics, their hair style or their ethnic background.
                                                                     
http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/library/studies/nc/ncmenu.htm' target='_new'>Marihuana: A Signal of Misunderstanding

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #63 on: January 02, 2006, 09:02:00 PM »
That's why I said that I would and have spoken with them.  I was very cordial but did speak my mind.  I just don't care to have some ongoing dialogue or relationship with them.  Why is this such a problem for you?  It wasn't for them or me and aren't we the only ones it really matters to?
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Offline xvipah

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« Reply #64 on: January 02, 2006, 09:05:00 PM »
It's not a problem for me, was just commenting, didn't realize it'd upset you.

The will to learn is an intrinsic motive...The will to learn becomes a 'problem' only under specialized circumstances like those of a school where the curriculum is set, students confined, and a path fixed.
--Jerome S. Bruner, Harvard.

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #65 on: January 02, 2006, 09:07:00 PM »
It didn't upset me.  You said you didn't understand the aversion so I explained it.  You seemed to be trying to convince me that I should feel otherwise.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #66 on: January 02, 2006, 09:12:00 PM »
I'm not trying to convince you of anything, I was just trying to figure out why the aversion, while at the same time expressing my own opinion.  That's what people do on discussion boards.  :wink:
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Offline xvipah

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« Reply #67 on: January 02, 2006, 09:12:00 PM »
Damn these baords and their love of logging me out!  That was me....

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Emo Phillips

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #68 on: January 02, 2006, 09:18:00 PM »
Fair enough.
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Offline kamikaze

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« Reply #69 on: January 03, 2006, 01:25:00 AM »
yes i agree with the thought that not all of the staff were horrible. it's just another example of the colonizer and the colonized. some people become tom's and begin to act just like their oppressor, just as others did sitting in group. fortunately i was never asked to go on staff, but  i noticed that after a while i really felt bad for those poor bastards in front of the group. i mean your getting paid to be an asshole. what a horrible life that must have been. especially when i knew, from going through the phases with them, that they weren't always like that.

i've had the opportunity to spend time with some staff, from that 89 - 91 era, and i think they're some good people in there. they were just scared kids like us all. i've heard a couple say that they just wanted to get to junior or senior staff because they knew then, that they would not get started-over from that point.

the craziest thing, is that  some of those kids went on to have much worse drug problems then the regular kids on thier phases, that i knew.  

but yeah i would say that many of them became real pricks when given a little power, it's okay though. i can finally look back and laugh, even though you guys called my days in for abt 3 months while i was on 6th phase (lol).

i do hope that you kids that i talk abt (on staff and in group) did not damage anyone beyond repair.

take care all,

kami
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There are two paths for people when they are born. The path of slavery-- it crushes and decays. And the path of the star-- it illuminates, but kills. \"

Offline Helena Handbasket

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« Reply #70 on: January 03, 2006, 01:26:00 AM »
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Why not?  Because I have this strange aversion to having a continuing relationship with people that abused the shit out of me.  "


Why not ask why?  I really hope you're not one of the many bagheads who accuse others of lacking a set of cojones. :grin:[ This Message was edited by: Helena Handbasket on 2006-01-02 22:45 ]
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uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

Offline TimeBomb

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« Reply #71 on: January 03, 2006, 12:22:00 PM »
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On 2005-12-26 18:25:00, Antigen wrote:

"Ya' know, we really could use some solid figures in this discussion. Anybody inclined to get the tax returns from IRS? If LIFE was non-profit, they're public info."


Done. I'll put them online when I get them.
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ick, tick.

Offline Heidi

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« Reply #72 on: February 01, 2006, 07:13:00 PM »
I agree. I am a lifer from '83/'84 and would love to hook up with other lifers from then. I actually went all the way through, to include the 6 month follow up. Perhaps some of the negative folks did not, dunno, don't really care. It did alot of good for me. Yes I did do drugs again and yes, I did worse than before I went in. But I woke the hell up about a year or so after and grew up. I still had fun but with respect for myself and responisibility. I drank occassinally in moderation. I have had a very happy and successful life thus far. I speak up for myself now, (oviously), and I don't give a rats behind what others think of me. I live well, sleep well, and love what I see in the mirror. If anyone else form life and from those years especially is interested I am contemplating starting a yahoo group for former lifers that, hang on, is positive! I will be moderating it, so spam and doomers, don't bother your crap won't be posted.
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Offline Heidi

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« Reply #73 on: February 01, 2006, 07:44:00 PM »
For the record, the program fee was supposed to be based on your parents income. Those who had more paid more, and boy did I stay at some of those places. I also stayed at places with single working moms, that looked a lot like my home. I was raised by grandparents on a fixed income and they didn't pay 3 grand. I am also not a sheeple. I follow my own path I make for myself. It was wanting to be accepted that got me a seat on the bench from hell. I call it that because it was hard. I remeber being cold in the winter with open windows, but hey I survived. I also remember some other girl who was really sick, went to hospital and had surgery. They did take care of her.  I am not a christain, or belong to any other organization typically thought of as one encouraging one to conform. I am a "pagan" ha, just love that term. I just feel I was taught some valuable living tools. Did it ever cros some folks "abused" minds that maybe the kids acting out could have inadvertantly hit/hurt kids not acting out and they were restrained for that reason if  not to keep them from seriously injuring themselves.
Lastly what does not kill you, will make you stronger, and hey it did! I have survived an abusive husband, his new wife killing my son,who was not even 2 yet (happened 10 years ago so I can talk about it now)and have gone on to meet and marry a good man, and still manage to keep going. Some of what I learned at life helped me get through that.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #74 on: February 01, 2006, 07:45:00 PM »
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On 2006-02-01 16:13:00, Heidi wrote:

"I agree. I am a lifer from '83/'84 and would love to hook up with other lifers from then. I actually went all the way through, to include the 6 month follow up. Perhaps some of the negative folks did not, dunno, don't really care. It did alot of good for me. Yes I did do drugs again and yes, I did worse than before I went in. But I woke the hell up about a year or so after and grew up. I still had fun but with respect for myself and responisibility. I drank occassinally in moderation. I have had a very happy and successful life thus far. I speak up for myself now, (oviously), and I don't give a rats behind what others think of me. I live well, sleep well, and love what I see in the mirror. If anyone else form life and from those years especially is interested I am contemplating starting a yahoo group for former lifers that, hang on, is positive! I will be moderating it, so spam and doomers, don't bother your crap won't be posted."


  Hi Heidi,  I was also in Life in the 80's.  Do you have an email address where I can email you?  
P.S.   Definately let us know if you start that yahoo site.  I also view my experience there as a postive one.
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