I've been meaning to write about this for some time, but I either can't find the time, or it's never acutely in my mind when I decide to write.
I, with a few others are accused of believing "all programs are bad". Speaking strictly for myself, this is untrue. Every once in a while I remember a "program" I was in in Massachusetts.
After being considered a "Child in Need of Services" by the state of MA because of my
unruliness (working double shifts, holding study groups that sometimes included members of the opposite sex, having a black friend... ), a rational social worker agreed I needed to be in a "Program".
I landed in a place called "Communities for People" located in Newton, MA. It was a big Victorian house, with three of us girls in residence with an adult counselor.
Rules of the program:
1. You either attended school or actively worked on your GED (We were all 16+)
2. You received a monthly allowance, with which you opened a bank account, if you didn't already have one. However, this allowance would not leave you any spending money after the bills were paid (more on this later), so if you wanted mad money, you would need to work a job.
3. Weekly house meetings were required. This is where we all sat around the table and discussed housework, who turn it was to clean the various rooms, who's doing the shopping, etc. We also had a segment of those meetings to discuss our personal progress... grades, jobs, boyfriends (yes, we were allowed to date!) and other
real world issues. One of our best meetings involved a good old fashoined food fight.
4. The end of the month meeting was to go over the bills, who was paying what, and we talked about budgeting and so forth. More
real world stuff.
5. Sure - there was a curfew depending on age. Generally midnight on the weekdays, and 1AM on the weekends. I shit you not.
When you turned 18, you moved into your own apartment, with weekly check ins by the counselor to see how you were doing. Kinda like getting out on your own in the "real world" and having your parents check out your new digs.
There is a reason the only time I remember this "Program" only occasionally - and that's because it was so
NORMAL! There were no "confrontations", no getting in anyone's face and nothing like these "Emotional Growth" programs we discuss in these threads.
Were we angels? Hell no. Consequences? Of course.
When the Co-Ed house opened up, I moved in, and became great friends (many would call it "dating") with the new guy. Nope, not what you're thinking - we never saw each other naked, although there was plenty of opportunity.
We took the "T" (Subway) into Braintree one night to hang out with a friend of his, and long story short, violated curfew because we missed the last train back to Newton.
Couldn't go back to the friends house (at least we didn't wanna hear it from the guys parents for waking them up!) and we couldn't call "home" (it was long distance, and this was before phone cards and cell phones), so we camped out until we could catch a train home in the morning.
When we arrived, the "brass" was there - what some of us would call "Executive Staff". We explained the situation, and our consequence was that we got "grounded" for a week, I think. Home directly after school or work. So we rented movies all week. And just like in the real world, where I would have to explain my absence at work, I had to explain my absense at school to the principal.
Funny... to this day, I have fond and fun memories of everyone (except the first two bitches - they were just... well...
bitchy).
Incidentally, it was at the coed house where I learned the other girl (Julie) who came after I did, came from Straight, Stoughton.
The guy (Robert) and I remained friends for about ten years after... we lost track of Julie about 3 years after.
The whole point of this long, drawn out post is to show that there IS a different way of doing things. I'm not sure what happened to this "program" - but I was told during a reunion-of-sorts with some of the staff that the kids that were currently enrolled like two years later were "severely limited". Maybe I and my group just got lucky.
http://www.communities-for-people.org/id26.htm_________________
Where are we going, and what are we doing in this handbasket??
[ This Message was edited by: Helena Handbasket on 2005-11-27 08:03 ]