Before str8 i 'z a pretty focused kid. By the time i got to high school there was a lot of pressure on me to give up my own ideas and conform to the norm. i was driftin' further and further away ever'day. The more they tried to manipulate and control the further away i was. They wanted me to fear the same things that they feared, but i didn't. i wasn't afraid of death at that time. Was willin' to see were things would lead, even unto Death. Knowin' that if i were to die it would be fine, because i would'a' died in the throes of life and not in the cage of fear.
That's what they really wanted outta me. Wanted me to fear life, as they did. They wanted me to walk into their trap, into their cage of fear.
i had sacred things from the time i can remember. Since Str8, i have been lookin' for them. And i aint talkin 'bout my jean jacket with the Iron Maiden patch sewn on the back, with the scripture verse that reads; let's see if i still have it memorized:
"Woe to you, oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath because he knows the time is short. Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number. It's number is 666".(come to think of it i'll be damned if that verse don't completely describe my relationship with authority in general, and especially str8).
What i mean to say is i had cetain sorta intangible things that were represented in physical forms. i need those things to retrieve my peace of mind. Well, it's like the continuity of my life is gone. Since str8 there are so many things i've been unable to find. Things that were handed down and given in love and friendship are gone. Forever it seems. My life before str8 is erased. How can i even pretend to think i don't know any better. i can't. Fuckers! Not that i really even want to now but if they'd 'a' let me grow in my own natural way we might'a' worked things out in time.
The memories of who i was in my childhood are mostly gone, washed away, you might say. Removed in an almost surgical way. "Stolen childhood" didn't you say, NCL ?? i fe'l ya now. There were things that i thought would always be mine or maybe some of them i would'a' given up over time and really i'm not even sure wtf i'm talkin' about but there's like this feelin' that i been robbed of my identity, that str8 confused me in ways i'll never even know. Blacked out all the stars to keep me lost at sea.
"Woe to you oh Earth and Sea..." = woe to you children
"...for the Devil sends the beast with wrath..." = authoritarian forces are sending Str8 to inflict ignorance and brutality
"...because he knows the time is short.." = 'cause once a child turns 18 he/she is armed by the constitution.
"...Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast..." Let him who is armed to the teeth with understanding take aim upon injustice, all external authority, Str8.
"...for it is a human number, it's number is 666" = Evil is a manifestation of humanity.
Know what i'm sayin ??
::dove::
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end. People are not commodities. When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-11-17 12:12 ]
