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Author Topic: Day Zero  (Read 5315 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Day Zero
« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2005, 01:32:00 PM »
Why is the article in the image redacted?
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2005, 01:42:00 PM »
I don't know, you'd have to ask Wes. But my guess would be that it dealt w/ personal information about former clients that he didn't want to propagate. Remember the speaking engagements and media dog and pony shows. All that bullshit about confidentiality went straight out the window whenever they could get some good spin.

Ardent advocates of prohibition were obsessed by a zeal that bordered on fanaticism. They supported politicians who voted to outlaw liquor, no matter how much of it they privately consumed, and spurned politicians who voted against prohibition, no matter how sober they were personally.
http://www.ncpoliticalreview.com/1101/Ervin/cohen.htm' target='_new'>Sen. Sam Ervin, Preserving The Constitution

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline seamus

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« Reply #17 on: November 13, 2005, 02:28:00 PM »
to me the program was just like the bullshit 'therapy' in a couple other institutions I'd allready been in.Play the fuckin'game..do what ever shit you gotta do and lo & behold they eventually go away.No body ever,ever gets to a part of me that I protect in a most insidious,passive-aggressive kinda way.Straight was just another speedbump in the highway of life,Im too thickskinned and stubborn to let it be much more.Besides ,how can you consider constant,belittlement,ridicule,and psycho-babble mumbojumbo to be therpy in any sense?
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It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Antigen

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« Reply #18 on: November 13, 2005, 02:49:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-13 11:28:00, seamus wrote:

Besides ,how can you consider constant,belittlement,ridicule,and psycho-babble mumbojumbo to be therpy in any sense?


The same way these same people can consider constant belittlement, ridicule and psycho-babble mumbojumbo to be an effective and necessary means to acquiring useful military intelligence.

And they'll go on coercing hapless ferners into telling them whatever they want to hear about whoever they'd like to bomb today till they finally drive somebody to the point of nuking us all out of our missery.

Unless a whole lot of people stand up on their hind legs and take their guns away.

You in or you gonna sit this one out?

If it is believed that... elementary schools will be better managed by the governor and council, the commissioners of the literary fund or any other general authority of the government than by the parents within each ward, it is a belief against all experience.
http://lfb.com/?stocknumber=FF7485&code=10247' target='_new'>Thomas Jefferson

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline seamus

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« Reply #19 on: November 13, 2005, 04:02:00 PM »
I have to say i dont see it changing,torture of various sort has always been used by somebody,for a laundry list of reasons. I dont agree with torture so I dont torture. (kinda why I left staff) Mr bush's boys will do what they do regardless of whati say or do,as did clinton's,nixon's,stalin's or any body heroditus wrote about. I dont waste my time on shit I cant change,Im too busy trying to make a living and raise my kids and have the life that people would deny me.Government,what a twisted thing.
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It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Bird on a Wire

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« Reply #20 on: November 13, 2005, 04:47:00 PM »
I often wonder about the coping mechanisms as well, Withdraw... I too was frozen for 6 months, for "copping an attitude" at a graduate when I was sat down in the middle of a very real trauma I was trying to figure out. I was just so enraged that I was actually attempting to discuss something that truly bothered me, that had happened, and that this person was saying was bullshit that I had "no feelings" about! I did nothing more than shoot them a scathing look and flip off a bit at them as I was sitting down... Of course I was stood up and screamed at about my lack of respect and gratitude and then yanked down while being told I was frozen on my day. I did not even realize what that meant until I went home the FOLLOWING night to write my MI and they screamed at me again that I had written the following day down. THEN I was told that I was not moving ahead, was not allowed to talk, was not allowed to EARN talk and would be "wasting (my) fucking life" from then on. Every Monday and Friday in homes I was just stood up and ridiculed and yelled at about how I was going to go nowhere blah blah blah...

Now, the reason I mentioned the coping stuff is that I struggled with the opposite but I think equally torturous response to you while frozen because I kept trying and getting nowhere, hopelessly, day in day out, unable to get up and speak and ignored except when stood up to be ridiculed and confronted. See, from the second I was put in the program, regardless of the fact that I had been lied to by my parents and coerced into going, I literally COULD NOT put my hands down and stop at least trying to get out... because I believed I was stuck till I got myself out, because I was too certain my parents were locked in and brainwashed, because I detest violence and was traumatized by the effects of the restraints every day, because I was from another country and had no clue where the hell I even WAS, to try to run anyway (not to mention that I was there on orders of my parents and was told I would just be screwed if I hit the border because I would be sent back), and for a host of other personal reasons.

I guess the point is that I do believe that each of us has our own "hell low point" and I also think firmly that the being frozen was one of the lowest and more horrible ways of fucking with people's heads and your thread brought this back to me also...
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Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.\"         -Leonard Cohen

Offline Rabbi Dopeman

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Day Zero
« Reply #21 on: November 14, 2005, 01:15:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-12 23:15:00, webcrawler wrote:


I know some survivors haved turned to religion for healing as well, be it Buddist, Christianity, Hindusim, Satanism, whatever, you get the picture.


None of these false, mythological belief systems will help you.  The Red Temple Cult is the ONLY One True Religion, and most of it's members are atheists, if that tells you anything.
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Offline Froderik

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« Reply #22 on: November 14, 2005, 01:30:00 PM »
Well I'm what you would call agnostic..
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Offline Rabbi Dopeman

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« Reply #23 on: November 14, 2005, 01:33:00 PM »
Well, yeah, it's not like the RTC is big into dogmas (or catmas for that matter.....)
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #24 on: November 14, 2005, 06:52:00 PM »
Just don't ever let your dogma run out in front of your karma.

Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
--Thomas Paine

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Offline NOT12NOW

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« Reply #25 on: November 14, 2005, 07:37:00 PM »
That sounds like something I would have had a nightmare about when I was in the seed.
Did your parents take you out because they were concerned you were not being taken care of; the program wasn't working, you got a message to them in a bottle--or something else?  After six months of being a first day newcomer you were just done?

You never gave in?
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Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #26 on: November 14, 2005, 09:08:00 PM »
I couldn't give in. I always thought I was the one super fucked up kid who just couldn't comply. and beat my self up for all this time for it. Staff/clients would tell me almost everyday, "you know, if you really were normal, you'd just comply" So all this time I thought I was the only fucked up kid there, (minus the other non-compliers) But many seemed to eventauly comply, so it was just me.

I don't know why I got out, They just came and got me on Halloween night, took me from group ( i assumed finally allowed another W/D meeting ) and poof next thing I knew I was in the car otw home.. Which lead to an insane scarey unstable enviroment. Society was not something I had a concept of and in many ways still don't. Straight took that from me.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #27 on: November 14, 2005, 09:21:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-14 15:52:00, Antigen wrote:

"Just don't ever let your dogma run out in front of your karma.

Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
--Thomas Paine


"


 Another valuable talent. Quoting bumper stickers.  Is that on your resume?
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Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #28 on: November 14, 2005, 10:09:00 PM »
Let me sorta add to what I said. I knew something in Straight wasn't right. I knew what they were doing was not ok, or normal. And my conscience? or something made it impossible for me to comply. I couldn't lie first of all, I didn't know how. So making stuff up and being convincing wasn't an option. I tried to make stuff up in the beginning for like a day or so.. But I couldn't stick with it, Something in my gut kept telling me something was really wrong. SO...I went back and forth thinking I was really messed up to thinking everyone else was messed up. But after being told so much it was me, I started to believe that, and just sat there knowing I'd never get out. I didn't realize what they were doing to me was truly illegal, because I was forced to believe I had no rights. SO I just didn't see a way out, I couldn't  "just be normal" like everyone else and make it out.. So I just sat there, Rotting(as I was told I was doing).

I didn't really know where I was geographicaly, so running away wasn't an option. I just sat there at a loss of what to do.



I wasn't a violent-out of control misbehaver.. I'd only push peoples hands off me, which led to the almost constant Restrainings
[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2006-02-28 22:39 ]
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Offline Gah

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« Reply #29 on: November 15, 2005, 01:00:00 AM »
I was a misbehavor, I had got to 3rd phase at one time. I never finished the program and when I got home, It was hard for me to even go outside, I would ask my mom if I could go to the bathroom and I would like wait like I was waiting for her to come with me. I remember how scary the halls in school were when the bell would ring and kids everywhere. Today I have every window to this house covered. I keep my doors locked. My landlord leaves notes like "heard child inside" lolol I have issues!!!! I still dont feel like I am one of them, a person who is someone. I wish I had answers!
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