What now?

[85 Day Jerk]

The drive to see her was a hell of alot faster than I thought it would be. She was surprised as hell to see me to say the least. I took about 12 minutes out of her work day, gave her some long overdue gifts, caught up on things, etc. It was hard to believe that this petite quiet woman used to hold me in awe everytime she climbed up on the stool and started a rap.

We discussed throwing a reunion of the Tampa Bay area folks, and both agreed that it should be on nuetral ground with no hang ups. I could not help but be amazed at the simplicity and grace of our little meeting. It had been put off by me out of fear, doubt, etc, for over two years. In the end it was like we were still a couple of teens on a smoke break at work.

It's funny how we were too busy being happy to see each other to make fun of other people, or talk about having T.B.P.I.T.W. or any other such nonsense. The reunion is a very do-able thing. It probably could be pulled off in less than a weeks worth of set-up. The question is, would it be worth it? There is a definate need for feedback on this. I can be reached by e-mailing [email protected] or thru private message, or if you are a complete moron, you can say stuff openly in the forum, so that I will know not to take you seriously.

This whole 'my dick is bigger, my program was worse than yours' horseshit has got to stop. All this infighting makes us really look like assholes to the outside world. My mom logged on and could'nt get past more than 4 or 5 posts before she gave up trying to find something good to read.[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2005-10-29 13:13 ]

[Antigen]

Doesn't really sound like much of a party to me. But maybe my mom would want to go. Should I let her know it's coming up? I bet she gets all excited and makes a warm fuzzie for each person who RSVPs.

The great enemy of truth is very often not the lie-deliberate, contrived, and dishonest-but the myth-persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
--John F. Kennedy, U.S. President

[linchpin]

Whatever dude ...fuck your reunion, fuck you..and noone gives a fuck that your mom cant find any good topics here...tell her to get a readers digest you fucking hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-29 12:54:00, 85 Day Jerk wrote:

 or talk about having T.B.P.I.T.W. or any other such nonsense.

Don't be slanderin' my weed there, Jerk.  I've kept my end o' the truce, but yer treadin' on thin ice when you start referring to my sacrament and medicine as "nonsense".  I endured Straight because of people like you who though tthe beneficent WEED was 'nonsense' or worse, and I have friends who have done jail time over it.  I do not appreciate you slandering my sacrament, or my medicine, anymore than I would call your bipolar meds that you've talked about here "nonsense".

I do not think I would want to attend your "reunion".  What's the point, to talk about the fun times we had in basics rap and talk to girls we thought were sexy "on the rap stool"?  I don't get it, and I don't get your slandering other people here who you do not fucking know any better than you do the pharmacist whjo fills your lithium 'script.

I think you knid of bougfht into the bullshit notion that all the phasers in Straight had "love" for each other, that we were somehow family.  We were not, that was an induced form of bonding integral to the brainwashing process, making you think you had some sort of bond with these folks by being in the same room with them at Straight.  It was an attempt to create an artificial family, or community at least, I think it's referred to by psychology types as "millieiu control".  It was bullshit, Bob.  No one loved you or anyone else for that matter just 'cause you showed up in Straight.  Maybe you formed some bonds with folks there out of psychological necessity, but they weren't real, volitiona;lly formed, naturally occurring relationships.  Fast forward 20 years or so, and yeah, we may have some kind of unspokien understanding with each other, but that in no way equates to a love or evenm alike for someone just because they were there.  Hell, I hate half you sonsofbitches (j/k, it's only about 25%), but I do r3ecognize that you went through the shit, too.  I think one of the obstacles you have been encountering is that you don't necessarily believe that IT WAS ALL SHIT.  EVERY BIT OF THE STRAIGHT EXPERIENCE WAS SHIT, AND IT WAS BASED ON LIES.  Sorry for yelling, Bob, but sometimes I get the impression that you think Straight would have been great "if only...". n Not so.  Straight was not a summer camp or a boarding school where a "reunion" such as the type you seem to have in mind would be appropriate, if I'm reading what you've been saying correctly.  Count me out of the nostalgia party.  Count me in if you wanna get high and taunt Miller Newton outside the courthouse, or protest Sembler and have a few beers.  Or, if you just wanna hang out and listen to music and shoot smack, we could do that, but you're buying.  But the Straight reunion you seem to be thinking of, I won't be there.

[linchpin]

I want nothing to do with 99.9 % of the people from my program.. The only lasting friendships Ive made regarding straight have been folks I met from other programs.
 Most of the people from Richardson 87-88-89 are psycho dipshits.
 Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

I went to the L.I.F.E. reunion in Sarasota last summer and in 1994.  It was way cool to see all the old faces and reconnect with people to see where all these people are today.  People who couldn't make it even sent emails or letters that were posted on the wall for us to read with thier adresses, so could contact them as well.

 I believe it went so well, because it was a different program  than Straight. It was not abusive, etc. and 90% of the people at LIFE don't look back on it as a horrific experience, like you all.

  I'm hoping they do another one sooner than 10 years away (like the last 2 were spaced out).

[Antigen]

Yeah, what's with Richardson, anyway? Was it an unusually intense variant in and of itself? Or were ya'll a bit high strung to begin with?

I believe the bit about LIFE being less violent and a little more laid back. But it was essentially the same mindfuck. And, true to form, there are some credible stories of the more overt types of abuses growing out of that. One glaring example of that is Growing Together in Lake Worth. Where did they get it? As far as I know, there's no direct tie between GT and Straight, it was all made up out of whatever variant of the cult ya'll were nurturing down there in Osprey.

Less obvious, but no less important, are the basic method and dogma. The idea that any human being has a right or reason to force their kids to view themselves as damaged, worthless human beings who need and deserve the humiliation of newcomer status followed by ongoing repression and control is just sick.

The notion that a radical is one who hates his country is naive and usually idiotic. He is, more likely, one who likes his country more than the rest of us, and is thus more disturbed than the rest of us when he sees it debauched. He is not a bad citizen turning to crime; he is a good citizen driven to despair.


--H.L. Mencken

[Nonconformistlaw]

On 2005-10-30 04:49:00, linchpin wrote:

"I want nothing to do with 99.9 % of the people from my program.. The only lasting friendships Ive made regarding straight have been folks I met from other programs. Most of the people from Richardson 87-88-89 are psycho dipshits.
Have a nice day."

I feel pretty much the same way about those who were in the same Straight with me...most I hope that I never see again as long as I live...especially if they still think Straight saved them....keep em' away from me!

I'm starting to be willing to meet a select few from my program and have talked to one person I was in hell with. It hit pretty hard actually, since I could remember things that happened to that person. I guess its more real...which is why I think for most part its very hard to go there. But I like meeting survivors from other programs and hope to meet more. Its very different from meeting the people you actually remember. Much easier too I think.

[Woof-a-Doof]

"Neutral ground with no hang ups".

A rather lofty expectation, considering the hostility exhibited here from time to time. Attempting to control others peoples thoughts, memories and overall attitudes seems futile and will only result in frustration/disapointment for both parties. The notion of being "neutral", unfortuantely is an unrealistic expectation. The under currents of hate and resentment make being 'neutral' difficult at best.

The concept of a re-union would imply that we all were once united...and I think we all know we were anything but united...perhaps a common thread in our history is about all we share.

The question, "Would it be worth it?" could be answered by asking what is our intent for gathering? Personally, I would be inclined to attend this event, but I am not sure of my intentions for doing so. Straight was not a happy time, so evoking memories more than likely will be troublesome to a degree. Acting as if Straight was a happy time would be a farce, something I really don't think I could pull off. However, I would still be inclined to go.

Possibly, it is an age factor. Perhaps I have come of age that naturaly looks to years gone by and tries to make sense of it all. Could this be a time in my life that nostalgia has become important? Why after almost 3 decades has it become important to frequent this forum? To reconnect with long lost friends? After all, I believe I can count those I considered "friend" on one hand.

I think back to the Mel Sembler protest held in Tampa this year. There was much to do about it here on the forum. Although I did not plan to protest and said as much...I planned to go and I did. Now, was that worth it? Well, I am glad I went. But how can I put a value on it saying yes or no, it was worth it?

10-15-20 years ago I wouldnt even consider the thought of attending a so called reunion. But today is a lil different, for reasons I can't articulate. Would I be inclined to discuss other people...sure. Would I discuss TBPITW, well sure I would. Yet I would be insensed with the idea that I am restricted in my speech and thought. It would smell of Straight's influence and that would be all it took for me to bolt. What would be next? A rap? (oh god) who would lead it? I would have to run before there was a god damn song! Oy!

I tend to agree with the whole notion that anyones time in Straight was worse than any others. On the other hand, do I think Straight got progressively worse as time went on? I wouldn't doubt it for a minute! The period of time I was in Straight, we layed a foundation of hate and distrust for the staff as well as each other. This foundation made it easier for the likes of George Ross and Miller Newton to come in and make a shitty situation even worse.

It has been said that this forum doesnt have the stuff for a good read....well, there are other forums that steal from this forum to incite discussion in 'other' forums. How pathetic is that? Why comment somewhere else on a topic that was initiated here?

Another thing...The flamming and bashing of peoples character is not restricted to this forum. In just about every forum and every newsgroup I have been associated with there has been heated arguments and flat out war between participants. Perhaps it is just this medium of communication that makes it easier to berate people with differing views. (just like in Straight)

We meet here and have discussions...disagreements (whatever) why is it impossible to meet face to face? Why can't differing views be investigated rather than attacking the source. We earned our right to be suspicious, but I am not convinced that attacking the source of foriegn thought is the best thing in the long run.

I appologize for my choppy/rambling responce....Simply put, I can see many reasons why I would not attend a "reunion". I can think of no other good reason to attend a "get together" than, I would simply want to go.

[PerfectStraightling]

On 2005-10-30 08:28:00, Antigen wrote:

"Yeah, what's with Richardson, anyway? Was it an unusually intense variant in and of itself? Or were ya'll a bit high strung to begin with? "

What's wrong with Richardson?? It's where I grew up, although I didn't get put in straight until it had moved to Irving. It's just not in the country, that's all.  :wink:

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-29 20:06:00, linchpin wrote:

"Whatever dude ...fuck your reunion, fuck you..and noone gives a fuck that your mom cant find any good topics here...tell her to get a readers digest you fucking hypocrite.
"

:nworthy:  :nworthy:  :rofl:  :rofl:

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-29 12:54:00, 85 Day Jerk wrote:


This whole 'my dick is bigger, my program was worse than yours' horseshit has got to stop. All this infighting makes us really look like assholes to the outside world. My mom logged on and could'nt get past more than 4 or 5 posts before she gave up trying to find something good to read.[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2005-10-29 13:13 ]"

Oh yeah, Jerk?  Is this you or the bipolar meds talking?

On 2005-10-29 12:45:00, 85 Day Jerk wrote:

"Glad to see you all are paying attention, especially those of you who live by the water and look like a Barbie Doll that got run over by a lawnmower.



Stay tuned for my new post.  It should prove to be a doozy."

'Cause if it's you, you're a fucking hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-29 21:11:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2005-10-29 12:54:00, 85 Day Jerk wrote:


 or talk about having T.B.P.I.T.W. or any other such nonsense.

Don't be slanderin' my weed there, Jerk.  I've kept my end o' the truce, but yer treadin' on thin ice when you start referring to my sacrament and medicine as "nonsense".  I endured Straight because of people like you who thought the beneficent WEED was 'nonsense' or worse, and I have friends who have done jail time over it.  I do not appreciate you slandering my sacrament, or my medicine, anymore than I would call your bipolar meds that you've talked about here "nonsense".



I do not think I would want to attend your "reunion".  What's the point, to talk about the fun times we had in basics rap and talk to girls we thought were sexy "on the rap stool"?  I don't get it, and I don't get your slandering other people here who you do not fucking know any better than you do the pharmacist who fills your lithium 'script.



I think you knid of bought into the bullshit notion that all the phasers in Straight had "love" for each other, that we were somehow family.  We were not, that was an induced form of bonding integral to the brainwashing process, making you think you had some sort of bond with these folks by being in the same room with them at Straight.  It was an attempt to create an artificial family, or community at least, I think it's referred to by psychology types as "millieiu control".  It was bullshit, Bob.  No one loved you or anyone else for that matter just 'cause you showed up in Straight.  Maybe you formed some bonds with folks there out of psychological necessity, but they weren't real, volitionally formed, naturally occurring relationships.  Fast forward 20 years or so, and yeah, we may have some kind of unspoken understanding with each other, but that in no way equates to a love or even a like for someone just because they were there.  Hell, I hate half you sonsofbitches (j/k, it's only about 25%), but I do recognize that you went through the shit, too.  I think one of the obstacles you have been encountering is that you don't necessarily believe that IT WAS ALL SHIT.  EVERY BIT OF THE STRAIGHT EXPERIENCE WAS SHIT, AND IT WAS BASED ON LIES.  Sorry for yelling, Bob, but sometimes I get the impression that you think Straight would have been great "if only...". Not so.  Straight was not a summer camp or a boarding school where a "reunion" such as the type you seem to have in mind would be appropriate, if I'm reading what you've been saying correctly.  Count me out of the nostalgia party.  Count me in if you wanna get high and taunt Miller Newton outside the courthouse, or protest Sembler and have a few beers.  Or, if you just wanna hang out and listen to music and shoot smack, we could do that, but you're buying.  But the Straight reunion you seem to be thinking of, I won't be there."

That was me, forgot to log in.  I know it's important to Bobby to know who's talking to him.

RTP2k3

[Anonymous]

:smokin:  :wave:

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-31 02:55:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:

"uh, then why are you even on these boards/posting if you feel that way??"

I'm on the Brainwash Reversal/Deprogramming Committee.