Niles -
I understand were your coming from.
Please know, I am not casting blame or making judgments.
Just as I don't want to be judged a lazy, mindless, moron for staying home -
I don't want to judge the moms who work as self centered, coldly ambitious,and materialistic.
Neither stereo-type is correct.
One thing to keep in mind when discussing these issues, is that when the two income trend began, there was generally no need.
The work and extra income was primarily a want. The message that a woman ought to Want to work become louder and more persistent.
The not so subtle message bombarding them from every direction was that onlty the dull and lazy could ever be satisfied and "fullfilled" at home raising children. Soon, weather they really wanted to or not, the moms felt obligated to go to work.
Soon after that, it became harder and harder to have a typical, middle class life style, with out the two incomes -
And here we are today, with it more often than not impossible - just as you point out.
But Ginger is also correct.
It is often a matter of priorities.
Folks are mistaken to think they *need* many of the things they buy with that second income.
Speaking for myself - we realized I didn't have to keep my job when my husband's company went on strike one winter. For those few months we got by on my paycheck - which was a fraction of his when he was working. By got by - I do mean got by.
It was uncomfortable and we did a great deal of cutting back - but we did get by.
This told us we could certainly get by on his alone, and do so much easier than we had on mine alone - so when the strike ended, I gave notice.
I had to get used to a few changes.
Where as before, I had always had cash in my wallet and could take a friend to lunch or make any number of impulse purchases (books, toys, nick-knacks and such; not new cars or boats and such) I now never had cash, and could no longer be so open handed with friends, or buy that book just cause I wanted it.
We never had anything remotely like a new car and our home was very small and modest - so keeping all that was not an issue.
That's Why we could afford for me to quite.
That, and the fact my husband did earn a good wage. Its as blue collar as blue collar gets - but they do pay him well to work so hard.
We've never had a lot extra, but we have always had enough.
//Well, then again, if you could afford a program you can afford that sort of lifestyle //
As for being able to afford the program -
In our case, that was a very unique event. My dad died.
He had worked hard all his life and lived modestly and saved, and so there was something to be inherited.
I actually thought I was going to be able to get real and meaningful help for my son as a result.
I actually thought paying for "private" care would get us a premium program.
Stupid, stupid, stupid - I know; But this was how I paid for it.
I'm ashamed to have been such a fool - but I was stressed out, worried sick and desperate.
Which brings us back to why the parents are such easy marks. . .
The two income shift has had consequences beyond inflation.
Personally, I do think it is a factor in the growth of this industry.
