Sucess stories from Struggling Teens.com

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure you are very familiar with the programs that are generally debated here. They are not in-patient treatment, heck, they can't even call themselves treatment! 'Behavior modification' is the best they can come up with.

A lot of the PARENTS ARE DUPED TOO! At least in the beginning. Some parents come to realize a program is abusive, others don't- but that is irrelevent. The harm is done to the kid, whether the intentions were good or bad. In my opinion, there is more than enough information for a parent to decide if a program is abusive or not. Parents who are CURRENTLY sending their kids to abusive programs (WWASP, etc) with all this information out there, I consider negligent, and in turn abusive.

I was in about a dozen treatment places before I went to Spring Creek, run by WWASP. I went through different residential programs, in-patient treatment, and even got locked up in a county mental health facility for a while. Even the prison like environment of the county facility was nothing compared to WWASP. WWASP programs are not just jail, in the sense you can't leave. It's the ideas behind the abuse, the emotional torture of having to change ones self and beliefs. It's hard to explain really unless you've been through it. (same shit with Straight program from what Ive read) YES, there are some very helpful facilities out there, I've been to them. They are always IN STATE and regulated.

Again, this all comes down to negligence. WWASP is a program that is by far cheaper than the rest, this also suckers in the middle class parents who can't afford a program closer to them. It's all a big scam, and the losers in this game are the kids and their family.

I tend to go overboard on any parent because I still hold so resentment towards my own family. Not for sending me, but for not believing me when I got back. My dad still wanted to follow the 'program' when I returned home. I am in my twenties now, and he still thinks in that program frame of mind. This prevents me from even talking to him, because even a simple verbal exchange results in huge fights and draws up all sorts of bad emotion in me.

I agreed to go to spring creek, I wasnt taken by escorts. I was told I was only spending a few months there and agreed to at least try until I was 18, but ended up spending close to a year- leaving when I turned 18 with an exit plan because my family wouldnt help me if I wouldnt stay in the program. The betrayal I feel stems from the fact I lived up to my side of the bargain and stayed till I was 18, but my dad falls for the program tricks and refuses to come get me. I had never talked to him on the phone the whole time I was there, and then they let me talk when I was about to leave, and he starts talking in program speak about how he cant support my decision. Anyways.. I can't really get across the emotions in words.. it was a very intense experience to say the least. But i left anyways and it turned out to be the right decision for myself. i dont have a family anymore though.

Anyways, this is just my experience for what it's worth... I can only speak for a student who has been to an abusive program and has had five yeras to dwell on it.

[Anonymous]

You know what it is.....
It's the fact your only lifeline in the world, your family, believes a total stranger over yourself. A stranger you have come to known as a manipulative, lying con-artist who's job is to simply keep you there as long as possible. This is the family rep.
In my letters I told my dad about all the abuses happening at SCL, and just the overall silliness and absurdity of it all. He wrote back saying he didn't believe me, even though I was being honest. He would quote what the family rep was telling him. 'I was a spoiled brat', 'I really didnt want to work the program', 'everything happening is all my fault', these kind of things. Statements I never heard before from my father, until I was there. The family rep has an agenda, her job is to make more money for WWASP... and still.... your family believes this person over you. The only people in the world with the power to get you out... don't believe you. Believe me when I say, if you send a child to a WWASP program, they will never trust you again, they will only fear you.

I pretty much have the same dream every night. All my dreams are at night, never during the daytime, and I am always running in some way from my father. This is 5 years later...

[tommyfromhyde1]

On 2005-06-06 11:16:00, Anonymous wrote:

Not all parents just send their kids away for smoking a little weed or drinking a little alchohol.  Crystal meth and oxcy are scourges and need some serious intervention.

No, not all do, but many do. And the teen rehab
industry encourages it. Here's a good article on
that situation.
http://slate.msn.com/id/2076329/
BTW, I met my first heroin user at Hyde School.

When Plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in a society, they create for themselves in the course of time, a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it.
--Fredric Bastiat

[Anonymous]

There are terrible programs and there are good ones.  It is simplistic to lay all the blame on the foot of the parents, children know right from wrong at an early age and are never to young to accept some responsibility for their actions.

I know how much you people love to blame the kids for everything that's going on, but this is just ridiculous. Of course it's the parents' fault. The PARENTS are the one with the power here (financial, legal, and physical power). The PARENTS are the ones choosing to give their children up and pay someone else to raise them.

Children are being kidnapped and sent away to gulags not because of the choices and mistakes they have made. They are kidnapped and sent away because of the PARENTS' choices.

You're an adult. You are not as powerless and stupid as you like to make yourself out to be. You have the power to raise your children, you have the power to work things out, but you choose instead to give up, send your child off to any stranger who make promises and shows you those pretty glossy brochures, sigh and say, "poor me! that horrible child was being so awful to me!".

You talk about taking responsibily for one's actions. How about you take responsibility over your own actions first? How about being a parent instead of paying some stranger to do the dirty work for you? Parenting is not always fun and games, you know. Or maybe you don't know. Why else would you choose to just give up when things got a little tough.

I can't decide if you and your kind are lazy, stupid or cruel. Maybe you're all three.

[Anonymous]

I am neither lazy cruel or stupid.  I just know that in some cases, it isn't all the fault of the parents, nor is it all the fault of the kids.  I just feel like we need to expect more from kids, than just the "love will make it better".  Life is tough, but I think some permissive attitudes from parents is making the problem worse for teens.  

Just 3 generations ago, you had 16 years going to war in WWII.  Even my generation, teens were expected to graduate from high school and either get a job, go to college or join the military.  My parents did not instill in me the expectation that they had to support me past high school, nor did they instill in me the expectation that it was their job to fix all of my problems.  Some of them they let me figure out on my own and let me fail.  We parents today are afraid to let our kids fail; sometimes failure can be a learning experience.

I am sorry that some people have had horrific experiences.  No doubt there is abuse.  But I would have to believe that not all programs are abusive.

I would like to hear some suggestions from those who had problems as teens as to what parents could do.  And I don't mean the casual use of weed or the sneaking a drink.  I mean hard core drug usage, like meth or oxcy and criminal behavior, like stealing and burglary.  What if a parent has tried everything, like counseling, talking, taking away privileges etc and nothing has worked?  What if the teen then becomes suicidal?

I am open to listen and open to suggestions.

[Antigen]

On 2005-06-05 09:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

"The programs discussed on the ST board bear no resemblance to what you are describing on this site. The wilderness programs are not at all abusive. The kids hike and work in groups. They deal with tough therapeutic issues, but there is no abuse and their equipment is top of the line.  The TBSs resemble nice prep schools. There are no dog cages and no pysical abuse. The kids are not brainwashed. The kids are safe and have the freedom to express their feelings and emotions. Perhaps you should do a little more research."

Yes! Yes! And if you squirt Ax spray on you, every good looking young woman who gets a wiff will immediately tackle you and fuck your brains out. And if you eat at Subway you'll lose 200lbs.  :roll:

How frigging stupid are you people?

The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
-- John Muir

[Anonymous]

We parents today are afraid to let our kids fail; sometimes failure can be a learning experience.

Exactly. Experience is the best teacher. And locking a kid up in some program does not allow them to gain any life experience at all.

[Antigen]

On 2005-06-05 13:16:00, Dr. Frankiln wrote:

Also this forum on this board is being discussed now on the strugging teens board
http://www.strugglingteens.com/cgi-bin/ ... 2;t=001054

OMG!  :rofl: These people are totally frigging delusional! "How dare you meanies read and discuss what we publish to the whole world? You're not supposed to do that! Lon! Make those meanies stop talking about us!!!!"  :rofl:

Childish indeed!

We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth...
For my part, I am willing to know the whole truth;
to know the worst, and to provide for it.

--Patrick Henry

[GregFL]

Anyone but me notice they are all women over there?

Aren't the women supposed to be the ones that nuture us and not lock us up?

damn! I was wrong again!

 :grin:

[Antigen]

On 2005-06-05 23:54:00, Anonymous wrote:

"If your best friend was stealing from you and doing drugs non stop, would you help her?  What I don't hear on this board is any personal responsibiity for actions. And a willingness to suffer the consequences. If you were using drugs, stealing, not pulling your own weight, why should anyone put up with that type of behavior?  I don't want to be around drug users, drug dealers, thieves, folks who cuss me, folks who don't want to work.  That includes my own children.  



No one has the unfettered right to abuse another human being and that includes your parents.  



I get the feeling that some of you feel that you can stay at your parent's house, do whatever the hell you want and then not expect your parents to say a word.  Just put up with it till you either grow up and as Krystene said "I got older and I started making different choices through trial and error basically."  I'm sorry but I didn't sign up for that as a parent.



Take some responsbility people for your actions and then be willing to suffer the consequences. "

You know very well how I respond to that question. We've been over it and over it. When my daughter did give us grief, I learned something very important. No matter how frightening, expensive, infuriating her behavior, I am as unable to cut her off or love her any less as a new born baby is to not love their mother.

You program parents have found your Utopia, alright. You've got a nice little cloister there of other people who will consistently and reliably condone your monsterous behavior. Go cry on their shoulder some more. It won't fly over here because Lon lacks the ability to censor out views and opinions that might hurt your tender feelings.

They used to burn witches. Today we laugh at them. Today we jail people for marijuana. Tomorrow they'll laugh at us.

--Robert "Rosie" Rowbotham

[webcrawler]

On 2005-06-06 11:16:00, Anonymous wrote:

"No one gets through life unscathed, in the end we are all responsible for the choices we make. To blame only the parents and not to take an honest look at one's own behavior, is doing one a disservice.  



We have all suffered trauma, it's how we chose to respond that differs.  I had a terrible upbringing, but I didn't chose to do drugs, steal, be disrespectful.



There are terrible programs and there are good ones.  It is simplistic to lay all the blame on the foot of the parents, children know right from wrong at an early age and are never to young to accept some responsibility for their actions.



No parent is perfect. Some are self absorbed; some are not. All make mistakes, but blaming isn't going to solve the problem.  Teens will search for themselves and who they are and try to find their place in the world.  Parents should try to be supportive; but parents also have the right to try and stop harmful behavior.  Just like when I child is a toddler and you hold their hand to cross the street; so it is with the parent of a teen. Some kids have problems so deep that they need therapy.  For some in patient treatment is the only way.  Not all parents just send their kids away for smoking a little weed or drinking a little alchohol.  Crystal meth and oxcy are scourges and need some serious intervention.



There is a lot of pain, but holding on to it, will never allow you to become a healthy and functioning adult.  I pray that each of you who has had a bad experience find a way to release the hurt and anger.  By doing so, you could be an example, an encouragement for others.



Peace."

Who are you directing this to? Me? Minimizing a person's experiences by saying no one goes through life unscathed and at a certain point we have to take responsibilty is a bit harsh don't you think.

Well many do not go through life being physically, mentally, and sexually abused either. I see because I didn't have the skills or resources as a kid to "effectively" deal with my pain there's no excuse for my acting out and I should have just got over all my pain because everyone has had a tuff life is what I hear you saying.

I am an adult now and my life is much different. People that know me today are shocked when I disclose of my past. I don't have to impress you or anyone else by being "an example to others" (your suggestion). I know what I have overcame and what I've accomplished and I'm not going to list it off trying to prove my worthiness in the hopes of redemption.

[Antigen]

On 2005-06-06 13:56:00, Anonymous wrote:

I would like to hear some suggestions from those who had problems as teens as to what parents could do. And I don't mean the casual use of weed or the sneaking a drink. I mean hard core drug usage, like meth or oxcy and criminal behavior, like stealing and burglary. What if a parent has tried everything, like counseling, talking, taking away privileges etc and nothing has worked? What if the teen then becomes suicidal?

I am open to listen and open to suggestions.

Ok, here goes. When I finally got it through my thick head that my daughter was determined to resist my every effort to force her to do what I wanted, I quit trying to force her to do what I wanted.

Simple as that. By that time, the situation was so bad that the only way I could arrange a conversation w/ her to tell her I wasn't going to mess w/ her anymore was to wait for her boyfriend's court date. (he was scared to death of cops, so I knew he wouldn't start any trouble w/ me at the courthouse)

That was it. That's all. We just let her know that if she wanted to come home, all was forgiven; that we cared very much about her and what happened to her, but would no longer try to force her hand. Now that it's entirely voluntary, she actuall asks for our advice sometimes. Doesn't always follow our advice and she's not always wrong about that either. It all worked out pretty well in the end.

But can you handle that? I mean, if you think like Andrea does, you can't even tolerate discussion among people you can't control. How does someone who thought the Program was a good idea wrap their mind around the concept of treating their grown children like adults?

When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obliged to call for help of the civil power, 'tis a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor

[Nihilanthic]

I love how first they say "tough shit lifes hard deal with it" as an excuse for the programs abuse, and then give us lip if we're hard on them, or their kids act out.  :roll:

So, which way is it? Or do their seminars give them the right to play it both ways as long as it suits them?

...it is worth discussing radical changes, not in the expectation that they will be adopted promptly but for two other reasons. One is to construct an ideal goal, so that incremental changes can be judged by whether they move the institutional structure toward or away from that ideal. The other reason is very different. It is so that if a crisis requiring or facilitating radical change does arise, alternatives will be available that have been carefully developed and fully explored."

http://laissezfairebooks.com/index.cfm?eid=103&aid=10247' target='_new'>Milton Friedman

[Antigen]

No kidding, Niles! Even if we said these things face to face very loudly w/ spit flying, this is NOTHING compared to what their kids are getting.

These people are SO pathetic. You might say they can dish it out but they can't take it, but they're so lame they can't even dish it out! They can only pay someone else to do it.

I laugh so hard every time one of these mindless wonders suggests that someone needs more time in a program to make them less angry.  :rofl: Gee, if two years did this to the kid, I wonder what would happen after 3 or 4 years. But then again, it makes just about exactly the same sense as more drug war as an aswer to our failed drug war.  :roll:

Wadaya gonna do?

Have you considered that system of holy lies and pious frauds that has raged and triumphed for 1500 years.
--John Adams, U.S. President

[Nihilanthic]

They're meek hesitant little shits, period.

Now, to elaborate on that... it all starts with them being indecisive, hesitant, and generaly clueless. So, kid acts out, they get a tad worried. But, becuase they cant realize its normal... they look for 'answers'.

Some program salesman gives them the answer the program wants them to believe, so they do as told, and give over the kid! Time passes, they wonder whats really going on, why they cant talk to lil timmy, etc.

Well, that hesitance kicks in again, and without someone telling them what to do they do NOTHING. Now, dont worry, they wont get time to think for themselves until they actually grow some balls or the proper set of glands, oh no...

SUPPORT GROUPS and SEMINARS show up and create the illusion like the PARENT is 'suffering' and 'has it so hard' and other stoic bullshit so they can pat themselves on the back for enduring  and doing such hard things, and go have pity parties over it.

So, naturally, kiddo comes out and reality doesnt mesh with the bullshit they beLIEve, and blame it on the kid, and continue to meekly go along with a program unless some authority figure tells them to do something... which is to go along with the program.

I feel sometimes like this country is just falling apart... together. That is, we're not indivuduals, we're becoming a homogenous populace of blind, deaf, dumb, numb sheep. No wonder Trent Reznor is still angsty  :roll:

I don't go lookin' for trouble. I just keep a little in a box should someone come by who is.
--Bill Warbis