Froderick, Froderick........what are we going to do with you? I thought about coming in here and confronting you, but you know as well as I do that you have been enslaved by your Druggie Will(TM), so I don't need to go into that. What I will do, however, is implore you to seek help for your Disease of the Feelings(TM) before you end up DEAD, INSANE, or IN JAIL!
How does it feel to be lead around by your internal Dope Fiend for yet another year? Aren't you sick and tired of being held hostage by your incessant cravings for drugs, alcohol, promiscuous kinky sex, satanic rock music with dirty, suggestive lyrics, and the other trappings of the druggie lifestyle that you have chosen to embrace? Certainly, even a druggie wastrel such as yourself would know that you are heading down the wrong path----unnecessarily. You see, Froderick, Straight, Inc.-by-the-Sea is an all ages facility---sort of like those hole in the wall dive punk rock clubs you were so enamoured of as a teen. Even at your advanced age, and late-stage of disease, we can help you. Froderick, I am begging you to let us help you, before it's too late. Make this a truly happy birthday by giving yourself the gift of enrollment in SIBS, before it's too late.
Love ya! Have a seat!
