Let me start by saying that obviously under NO circumstances what so ever should a man hit a woman, and I believe what happened to you is an unfortunate tragedy.It has obviously scarred you and it seems that you definitley are searching for some type of closure...and i hope you get it.I do however feel that although the situation was very unfortunate for all parties involved, have you thought about how that guy was possibly just as messed up and struggling to find his way and turn his life around, just as much as the next kid was? You say he was 19 years old.We are all still kids when we are 19.Yeah, at 18 we are considered an "adult"...but there is a reason that the drinking age is 21.Because at 19, especially in a situation like Straight....we are all just trying to find our way in the world,who we are as a person,how we react to some of the fucked up situations we find ourselves in, and many times we lack the common sense, or even the ability to make rational decisions.I am not making excuses for the guy, and I do not condone what he did.But maybe he is out there somewhere and has turned his life around and become a postive contributor to society.Maybe he regrets what he did and was living with guilt and decided to use his mistakes to help people stay away from doing some of the shit that he did.It's not an impossiblity.
All I'm saying is, that was a long time ago, and that it seems that you have other issues, bigger issues, that you need to work out.I'm not being judgemental...I'm not perfect either.We all have issues.I'm trying to help you maybe look at it from a different perspective.All the resentment, anger, and hurt that you have been feeling up to this point has obvioulsy not brought you any closure...and neither will revenge, or hatred, or damnation on a messageboard.
If you want closure, it comes through forgiveness, being at peace with yourself, and not letting anyone hurt you emotionally, mentally,or physically.Closure comes through doing what you can to help other kids escape the hurt and fucked up experiences you faced.Are you doing that?Have you thought about it. Everyone deserves a second chance.Don't worry about where that guy is and what he's doing.Focus on YOU. Closure comes when you make your own life better, when you mend your own heart.Not by the pain and punishment of others, and if it does, the issue is far deeper than being hit in the face.
