Getting ready for summer.

[Anonymous]

I just read the forum and wanted to put my opinion out there in case any one cares one way or the other.  When I was 17 my mom sent me 3 states away to a long term treatment facility.  I drank maybe 3 times smoked pot less than that and I had never had sex.  I had been seeing an adolescent therapist for quite awhile (simply because I had a single mom and she thought I was way out of control) and this therapist recommended this facility to lead me on the straight and narrow so to speak.  Well, 22 months later I graduated my program and was a free bird.  Needless to say, my curiosity and repressed emotions that I had to deal with while in treatment, resulted in a drug list that was quite longer than pre-treatment and I became somewhat of a "slut" sleeping around quite a bit.  For years I resented my mom for sending me away to a place that I to this day agree I did not need to be in.  I now have a 7 year old a 20 month old and the thought of them "experimenting"  in any kind of way terrrifies me.  I have read a lot of post with responses about being a controlling parent and this is normal 17 year old behavior.  I can agree on some level because of my own experience but I cant say I wouldn't  be a freaking out if it were my kids.  I think we need to lay off  with the controlling parent criticism and try to be more supportive.  I have no magic answers for you I can just empathize with your concerns and only hope that things turn out better for your son and your family.

[Antigen]

Oh, get real, TSW! Now and again? Please!

I've just started reading this thread. I note that it's grown like Kudzu, which usually means a flame war. Everybody loves a brawl though, don't we chillins?

Seriously, though, to the original poster, I agree with TSW. Matter of fact, I've been talking along this same theme w/ a couple of friends of mine just lately. Seems that none of us have ever been able or willing to live a conventional life. Don't know how much of that is reactionary and how much is causual or if it even has anything to do w/ the Program at all. But, however we came to this point, we're all mid 30's to 40's with "no visible means of support" or at least no simple answer to the question "so, what do you do for a living?"

And even now, that still makes some people very nervous and suspicious. Me? I must be a madam cause I live in Charleroi, right? My other friend, obvious dope dealer, right? Those are the assumptions. The reality is a whole lot less colorful.

I'd suggest you turn him onto Craig's List. I've found so many interesting gigs and people there. It's a bit more risky than your conventional vocations and avocations, of course. But then again, taking the conventional course guarantees, not only risks, doom to stifling mundacity and hopelessness.

Or, if you'd rather hear it from an accomplished statesman and celebrated hero....

"Find out what they want to do and advise them to do it." -- Winston Churchill when asked how to give advice to grown children.

[Antigen]

I can agree on some level because of my own experience but I cant say I wouldn't be a freaking out if it were my kids. I think we need to lay off with the controlling parent criticism and try to be more supportive. I have no magic answers for you I can just empathize with your concerns and only hope that things turn out better for your son and your family.

Yeah, I hear ya. Overly worried, overly controlling parents are the major part of the problem, at least wrt the private sector American gulag archipelago. But it's not because they're all mean spirited child abusers. My anger toward them is, finally, all blown out. Took awhile. I had an impressive store of it.

They're really, really scared of all the terrifying hobgoblins hiding under their kids' bed. From an early age, everywhere you look you get fed a little dose of toughlove hate group propaganda. It doesn't matter whether you look to the very conservative "sex might lead to dancing" crowd or the extremely liberal do-gooders who want to drug the population to make us all conform more closely to what their ivy league gurus have decided is "normal" this year.  

I always take these kinds of stories with a grain of salt, too. I'm not so sure your son is making bad choices or headed for trouble. Take a kid like Brian Werner, for example. Weird kid! Grew up to be Marilyn Manson. Whether you appreciate his work or not, you can't really call him a failure, can you? If he were your son, would you want to see him give up on his eccentric dreams and aspirations, put on a monkey suite and eat lots of Prozac to make it tolerable? I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

[nimdA]

Oh, get real, TSW! Now and again? Please!

I've just started reading this thread. I note that it's grown like Kudzu, which usually means a flame war. Everybody loves a brawl though, don't we chillins?

Seriously, though, to the original poster, I agree with TSW. Matter of fact, I've been talking along this same theme w/ a couple of friends of mine just lately. Seems that none of us have ever been able or willing to live a conventional life. Don't know how much of that is reactionary and how much is causual or if it even has anything to do w/ the Program at all. But, however we came to this point, we're all mid 30's to 40's with "no visible means of support" or at least no simple answer to the question "so, what do you do for a living?"

And even now, that still makes some people very nervous and suspicious. Me? I must be a madam cause I live in Charleroi, right? My other friend, obvious dope dealer, right? Those are the assumptions. The reality is a whole lot less colorful.

I'd suggest you turn him onto Craig's List. I've found so many interesting gigs and people there. It's a bit more risky than your conventional vocations and avocations, of course. But then again, taking the conventional course guarantees, not only risks, doom to stifling mundacity and hopelessness.

Or, if you'd rather hear it from an accomplished statesman and celebrated hero....

"Find out what they want to do and advise them to do it." -- Winston Churchill when asked how to give advice to grown children.

wut I say?

[Anonymous]

WHAT IS YOUR AGENDA?

[Antigen]

Even us macho rough tough country boys like me need to be praised now and again. Makes us feel somewhat useful.

[nimdA]

UNDERSTATEMENT!

[Oz girl]

Oh, get real, TSW! Now and again? Please!

I've just started reading this thread. I note that it's grown like Kudzu, which usually means a flame war. Everybody loves a brawl though, don't we chillins?

Seriously, though, to the original poster, I agree with TSW. Matter of fact, I've been talking along this same theme w/ a couple of friends of mine just lately. Seems that none of us have ever been able or willing to live a conventional life. Don't know how much of that is reactionary and how much is causual or if it even has anything to do w/ the Program at all. But, however we came to this point, we're all mid 30's to 40's with "no visible means of support" or at least no simple answer to the question "so, what do you do for a living?"

And even now, that still makes some people very nervous and suspicious. Me? I must be a madam cause I live in Charleroi, right? My other friend, obvious dope dealer, right? Those are the assumptions. The reality is a whole lot less colorful.

I'd suggest you turn him onto Craig's List. I've found so many interesting gigs and people there. It's a bit more risky than your conventional vocations and avocations, of course. But then again, taking the conventional course guarantees, not only risks, doom to stifling mundacity and hopelessness.

Or, if you'd rather hear it from an accomplished statesman and celebrated hero....

"Find out what they want to do and advise them to do it." -- Winston Churchill when asked how to give advice to grown children.

I think part of the problem may be that in western society a conversation starter is always what do you do for a living? it is a way of pigeon holing ppl. A better way of asking this question is how do you fill your days? This way you find out what peoples interests are cause it opens up the conversation more.