One, I don't believe that parent exists--I believe it's a troll.
Hey, dumbass troll---if a kid has "graduated from high school" last June then he's a legal adult---which means a real parent couldn't pull that Program garbage on him.
If, hypothetically, such a parent really existed and wasn't a dumbass troll, then the question really is: What do you do with your grown up offspring who won't work, expects you to support him, shows no signs of moving out, and throws tantrums to get his way--including getting you to buy him stuff.
Read Martha Stout's "The Sociopath Next Door." One in twenty-five people has no conscience and can and will do anything at all to get what they want without the slightest twinge of remorse or regret.
The only difference, in that respect, between the serial killer, the sleazebag white-collar corrupt executive, the vindictive backstabbing bully, and the freeloading bum is what each subtype of no-conscience person wants.
The killer wants violence, the sleazy corporate exec wants money and power, the vindictive bully wants to take people he envies down a peg, and the freeloading bum wants to get by in life doing as little work as possible with other people doing as much of it for him as possible.
Sometimes, you can do everything right as a parent and still raise one of those one in twenty-five people who has no conscience. If you do a bunch wrong as a parent and your kid has the wrong genes, you can also end up with one of those one in twenty-five people who has no conscience being your adult offspring.
It sucks, but if it happens to you, you have to cope by putting that adult's problems back on him, not you.
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If that post was by a real parent and not a troll, we wouldn't be talking about a garden-variety pain in the butt teen, we would be talking about an adult freeloading bum.
What you do when your adult offspring is a freeloading bum who won't leave your house is you go through formal eviction proceedings (which is the only legal way to force someone out of your home if they have noplace else to go). Instead of sticking his stuff on the curb, you stick it in a U-store-it facility paid up for three months, you hand him the key, and you hand him $500 (or what you can afford). Then you tell him he's his own problem and isn't getting another dime from you.
You don't cut off social contact. You meet him every once in awhile for lunch at Micky-D's if he wants to get together. You also tell him that he gets no money, but that he gets as much advice as he chooses to ask for.
You tell him he's a grown up, and that while you love him, it's time for him to take responsibility for himself and live his own life.
Sure, a good-for-nothing bum is going to pull all kinds of emotional strings and throw out all kinds of recriminations, etc.
But if you raise an adult bum, then that's the only way you can really deal with it, and the sooner the better.
If he's one of those one in twenty-five with no conscience, then after he finds out you really mean it, he will probably cut you out of his life so he can tell new victims a fabricated sob story to sucker them into supporting him.
Programs won't fix a bum. If somebody has no conscience, there's nothing you can do to give him one.
Adults who aren't bums will, if set free (in a realistic way), cope on their own.
Unless they're genuinely disabled, in which case you go through Social Security and all that.
If my parents had turned me loose with $500, my clothes, and my stuff in a storage facility, I wouldn't have been on easy street, but I would have been able to cope without turning to prostitution or drugs or whatever.
There's nothing wrong with kicking an adult out of your house---there are, however, better and worse ways of doing it.
Julie
umm are you insane?. With the exception of one girl I know who was thrown out of her house by her abusive father the day she graduated highschool, I dont know ANY 17-18 year olds who are completely self supporting, including my freinds in foster care (foster care pays for college and helps pay for housing)
I really dont think being a kid who was essentially thrown out of his house to live in a home for the mentally ill and has issues with his parents and wants them to buy him stuff- which from the description sounds like he would just like them to show that they value him a bit makes him a Evil "sociopath" or a horrible wothless bum.
NO offence but YOU sound like a sociopath- somone who cant "empathize with another- THAT'S the defiinition of a sociopath, lady
Congratulations on imaginarily overcoming great obstacles like being turned out of your house with 500 $s. Imaginarily, I have overcome great obstacles as well. However thats not what often happens when you face great obstacles in REALITY. One kid I know was in just that situation. He was in Mass inthe dead of WInter and homelsss, he crowded around some otehr homeless men in shanty where they had lit a fire to keep warm. He went out out for a minute the fire got out of control and he was the only one left alive. Hes headed for prison for the next 10 years. I was also thrown out and ended up being sexually exploited. What happens to you in your IMAGINATION is alot differnt than in REALITY, thats why daydreaming is so enjoyable
Obviously from the description this kid has issues hes - even if its just emotioanal damage from having abusive parents- and if he is living in housing for the menatlly ill and their greatest concern is that going to practice wicca which migh lead to doing magic(- which umm...doesnt actually exist) and dresses werid sounds like they are abusive. They dont care about his emotional needs, just how he performs for them. He's just 17-18 and peple dont start treating their kid like that overnight. All 18 year olds that I know still need help and 18 year olds with issues need more!
Why not try being decent to a young person? Treating them the way youd hope to be treated yourelf? HAving compassion instead of hate?
Parent:
You probably shouldnt live togther casue that seems to be uncomfortable, but why not lease him an apartment for 6 months?
thats a very reasonable time allotment to be able to find a job and
become self supporting without being violated- and i consider throwing a kid onto the street violateding,
as much as is having your boyfreind throw you onto the street- in factit might even be illegal in some states. It also saves him from being thrust into a dangerous situation. Make some rule like he needs to start paying half the rent in 5 months or you dont renew the lease or soemthing along those lines. Try to get him a roomate Meanwhile mentor and nutrure him. Visit him and dont try to "cure" him just have fun with him. Try to guide him. If hes into goth bring him brochures for local colleges focusing music, arts, literature, web design. photography and things goth kids are into or whatever his interests are. Tell him you'd love to see him in college and be proud if he went to think about his future what he wants to see him self doing, that sort of thing. Be nice to him and try to help bring him a happy life.
