Author Topic: Finding Forgiveness  (Read 1884 times)

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Offline Jimmy Cusick

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Finding Forgiveness
« on: December 15, 2004, 08:00:00 AM »
When I discovered this Forum 6 months ago my anger and hatred towards the seed expanded into rage. I wished Art Barker were dead, I thought most of the staff should be castrated or vivisectioned and the rich little spoiled kids that recieved special treatment should become heroin addicts living on the streets.

I was angry that I had been sent to the seed in Southern Florida for 12 hours a day, we ate peanut butter and jelly and bologna sandwiches, we sat in hard chairs in swealtering heat and had security at all the doors. We were constantly yelled at when we were newcomers, I had to start over as a newcomer and sit in the front row again for having a "bad attitude" towards my mother. Art Barker would come downstairs and talk to us, he would smile with his little cigarette holder and do the soft shoe shuffle dance, he was constantly surrounded by a "harem" of good looking well built girls. Robert Chun (black) drove Art around in a maroon limo. The list of incidents that angered me goes on and on but thats not what this post is about.

This post is about FORGIVENESS. Initially I grieved my teenage years much like a death in the family, I had lost something that I could never regain. Secondly I ACCEPTED Art and the staff for what and who they were. They did the very best that they could with what resources they had at the time, that suggests that I had unrealistic expectations for many years. Finally I FORGAVE. I was able to see that my parents sent me to the seed because they thought I had a serious drug problem. The seed actually really helped me change my attitude and develop a much brighter outlook on life. My heart softened and I embraced the countless good memories that I have of the seed. I am choosing to look on the positive side of my seedling experience and I suspect the seed was right all along when they talked about LOVE
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline PerfectStraightling

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Finding Forgiveness
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2004, 04:41:00 PM »
Yes but you can't force it to happen. If you truly are feeling this way, it is because you allowed yourself to grieve. Meaning you let yourself feel hurt and angry. However it is hard to imagine replacing that feeling with LOVE, but I wish you well with everything nonetheless.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Finding Forgiveness
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2004, 09:24:00 PM »
"I was angry that I had been sent to the seed in Southern Florida for 12 hours a day, we ate peanut butter and jelly and bologna sandwiches, we sat in hard chairs in swealtering heat and had security at all the doors. We were constantly yelled at when we were newcomers, I had to start over as a newcomer and sit in the front row again for having a "bad attitude" towards my mother. Art Barker would come downstairs and talk to us, he would smile with his little cigarette holder and do the soft shoe shuffle dance, he was constantly surrounded by a "harem" of good looking well built girls. Robert Chun (black) drove Art around in a maroon limo. The list of incidents that angered me goes on and on but thats not what this post is about. "



yes, that pretty much is the memory.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »