I have no idea of this is ligit - but I got a kick out of it, and thought some of you might as well.
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of
Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's
letter before you get to the response letter.
This is the State's Letter:
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the
above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as
the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across
the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the
start of this type of activity. A review of the department's files shows
that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and
Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to
324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department
has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a
recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.
We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot
be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist
all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow
condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the
stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31, 2005.Please notify this office when the restoration has
been completed so that follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our st
aff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated
enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if
you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price, District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
Response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
think they would be highly offended that ! you call their skillful use of
natures
building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to
attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose.
I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam
skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence,
their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.As to your request, I
do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam
permit
prior to the start of this type of dam activity.My first dam question to you
is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do
you require all beavers throughout this state to conform to said dam
request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if
there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the
beavers
entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially
destitute
and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to
provide
them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both
of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof
that this
is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other
words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing
them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam
free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to
arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter,
they being
unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy
Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
resources(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the
beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated
enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond
Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! ! Bears
are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be
persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are
going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not
careful where they dump!)Being unable to comply with your dam request, and
being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this
response to your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES & the DAM BEAVERS
