Please remind me...

[psy]

The worst was the first on-campus visit, though. We were supposed to "cop out" and read our disclosure list to our parents. Can you say "awkward"?

Oh don't worry.  They were probably briefed by the staff (and then some).  Your parents were probably told you weren't "honest enough" with your disclosures.

They most likely went away saying "well at least he's admitting to some of it now".  (when in reality you probably had to make shit up to have the staff accept it).   The real fun came when you actually believed your trumped up confessions.... Yay......

[psy]

Keel over dead?

No.  but they'll threaten to: "the stress you're causing is killing me"  Ever heard that from a parent?

Send you to another program? Beat you around the head with TSW's ball peen hammer?

Ignore him completely?  It can get worse.  Is the truth about the past worth risking the future relationships with your parents?  It's a question each program survivor has to answer individually... but it's a valid question.  Sometimes too much truth is too much to handle (to much, to soon... etc).  You can overload a parent if you push them too far.

It depends on how important to you.  If it's important to you that they know the truth, and acknowledge it...  than it's worth risking.

[try another castle]

You know your comfort level, but I don't think it was 'the wrong' thing to do at all. People don't just flip out of denial. Takes a while. I'd keep bringing it up until the shock wears off. There are many things your parents need to know. Don't have any expectation, except to present them with the truth. Their reaction is their 'responsibility'.

Too bad if they don't want to hear it. Put it on a cassette tape, write a letter, compile a whole packet which they can read as they have the courage to do so. Whadda think they'll do? Keel over dead? Send you to another program? Beat you around the head with TSW's ball peen hammer?

I was kind of hoping I could start dating some fierce individual who I would eventually confide in about that place, and then have THEM bitch out my parents. "Do you have any idea what you put your son through??"    I'm joking, of course, but it would be kind of funny to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend who, after you told them your TBS story, said "Okay, I officially hate your parents."   That whole validation fantasy.

My first girlfriend definitely wasn't too thrilled with them, that's for sure. For many reasons.

I just realized that I've spent most of this thread trying to defend my parents, after bitching about an argument I had with them. What-ever, castle. Big fuckin' ninny.

[hanzomon4]

Well like I said you two show alot more kindness or restraint then I would. Ignorance,  fear, desperation, and good intentions are nothing more then reasons why, not an excuses from fault or justification for their actions then and now. Your parents are luck to have you as a son, no bullshit.......

[Nihilanthic]

I just realized that I've spent most of this thread trying to defend my parents, after bitching about an argument I had with them.

That's because you're a good person, not the evil little shit programs insinuate offspring are by virtue of coming out of their moms vagina and living into their teen years.

Funny how they don't return the favor of defending you when you're wrong (Assuming you were), hrm?

[try another castle]

Funny how they don't return the favor of defending you when you're wrong (Assuming you were), hrm?

Yeah, I could have avoided the whole TBS fiasco to begin with. But you know, I was irrational and causing people to walk on eggshells and such.  :roll:

The best part was when my stepfather got into talking about my involvement with wicca, which he referred to as "black magic". He said, "I was in the car with you when we drove up, remember? You said you were going to put a spell on all of us."

That made me laugh my ass off! Since when did my parents start believing in witchcraft to the point that a "spell" I put on them would have any effect, or make them nervous? (Trust me, I tried one months before to keep my parents from sending me away. It was obviously a colossal failure.) I was the worst witch in the world! Dumbledore would have had my wand for sure. Just goes to show, put a witch in the family, and everyone else starts getting superstitious.

The other funny part was when the conversation turned to the friends I had before I went up there. They said "You were hanging with a real strange and creepy bunch." And I said "Yeah! They were great! Awesome group of folks." Seriously, they were. I wonder what they are all up to now?

They of course, brought up the suicides. I said, "Mom, I tried to kill myself in September. You sent me away in July. Was I dead yet?" She acknowledged that, at least, and said "So you got it out of your system." I said "Yes, obviously. I realized that trying to kill yourself was generally a bad idea."

She was also shocked to hear that I never did drugs in high school. She said "Wait, you never smoked pot?" I said "Nope, never did it. Not once."

Not like I really felt like getting involved on a point by point basis in my conversation with them, but that's where it ended up. And you know me... Mr. Bad Boundaries.

Apparently, the impression I got from all of this was that my parents, all four of them, were absolutely terrified of me. This also makes me laugh, because I was the biggest pussy in the world, and still am. Yes, I did have a nuclear temper, but Jesus Christ guys, grow a pair.

[try another castle]

You know I probably shouldn't have laughed so hard after reading you last post considering the unspoken part of it states rather loudly that your parents were such pussies they sent you to RMA for 2 years.

  :nworthy:  :rofl:

[egypt has pyramids]

I just made it easy and don't talk to my parents much anymore. I gave it a few shots over the past several years, but it's not working out. I think some people were not made to be around each other and since both me and my mom self destruced while living with my dad at different times by ourselves I think he has more than a little to do with the bad vibe we all get when together. I spent my whole childhood dreaming of getting away and now they call me up asking me to come home and visit and I just laugh.. like, don't you know why I was running away all those times? I wasn't fucking around!

Its funny cuz my dad still thinks it was all good. I remember the day I came home I came off the airplane and my sister started crying she said later because I looked like shit. My dad tried to give me a hug and I pushed him off. I have never felt the same toward him since coming off that plane. I don't like people who pretend to love you, it disgusts me actually. So when we got home to the house I unpacked my stuff, pet the cats and sat down and played the piano something I hadn't done in over a year and it felt good. But then I went out in the family room and I asked my dad why he sent me away to freaks. I asked if he knew that I was locked up in the isolation room for a month and he said yes he knew, because he had to pay extra each night I was there. Luckily my sister was there, I was so angry but she was able to talk to me and tell me that yes, I was right and he was wrong and she was saying she kept trying to tell him to bring me home the whole time. She also said she sent a bunch of letters but I never got any. I was gone from his house within a week after coming home and never lived with him again. To this day he thinks it was all good and saved my life and I was a psychotic, bipolar freak who needed to be caged and drugged like a wild animal.

My mom had been absent from my world since I was six. But I did get a letter to her when I was getting near 18 but then my dad and everyone else lied to me and told me not to contact her because the FBI would get involved. I believed them at the time because my reality was pretty warped from the experience. So I never did contact my mom. She is way more fragile than me so I didn't want the FBI to get involved like the kept telling me because I knew she would hate me if I brought her that kind of trouble. I think they knew me well enough to manipulate me is what was actually happening. So my mom was totally not a part of my teenage experience, I did send her a few letters from programs, but never asked her to come pick me up directly. I already knew the answer to that so I didn't bother, she wouldn't/couldn't do something like that. But I did talk to her about my experience afterwards and she is a lot more open. She is philosophical and fun to talk to, but is super depressed and has a bunch of mental problems and is just a drain on your energy. Its weird to wake up one day as an adult adn realize that you are 100 more times sane than both youre parents combined. I grew up thinking white was black and up was down and now I am doing my best to correct that on my own.

[try another castle]

I asked if he knew that I was locked up in the isolation room for a month and he said yes he knew, because he had to pay extra each night I was there.

 

Wow, that is fucked up on at least two levels, probably more.

It's "good" to hear, at least, that when you came out of the experience, you realized right away that what you had just been through was totally fucked up. Also good to know that you had a sister who was willing to stand by you. I know, very small consolation...

[egypt has pyramids]

Yeah she is my twin sister. By the time I came home she had run off with her boyfriend, who she is still married to and they have a five year old daughter. She ran away too just like me and started a new family... I don't blame her.

A few weeks later I ended up on the street with no place to go and she let me stay in her apartment for a couple months until I had somewhere to go. She helped me a lot.