« Reply #46 on: September 16, 2008, 07:34:43 PM »
Our daughter has been out of her program going on almost two years now. And she is slowly - very slowly - beginning to share details of her stay there.
She was not as unfortunate as many. She was not systematically abused. She was never hit. Never denied meals or water. And so on ... but there are components of her story and experience that still make me very angry. Angry at me. Angry at the staff. Angry at the program. Angry at the whole industry. Sorry ... I digress.
She came crying to me one day and said that she had to "unload". I held my breath and tried to conceal the panic that I felt. She said that all of the "stuff" that she had told her therapist ... and consequently told us was mostly untruth. All those shocking confessions of 'deviant' behavior. Yes she did some drugs ... but not the extent that she told us while in her program. Yes, she was involved sexually ... but not as promiscuously as she told us while in her program. Yes she was running with a "tough" crowd ... but they weren't doing as much delinquent behavior as she had claimed while in her program.
My first thought was what I had read here in terms of being 'brainwashed' into confessing to all sorts of untrue stuff. That you were 'compelled' to confess in order to survive . Ya know ... "gotta work the program".
But as she dialogged about her motivations to tell these stories, she feels that she did it more to "fit in" with the rough/tough crowd that makes up the rosters in TBS's and EGBS's. Hmmm.
Poor kid.
The only thing she really struggled with was depression, cutting and suicidal ideations. And some normal teenage angst ... and the normal teenage autonomous behaviors.
So. It was an interesting conversation. I am blessed that she is sharing this with me now. I know that. It speaks about her resilience and tenacity. It speaks about her ability to forgive our horrible choice.
It makes me all the more determined to speak out against institutionalizing our kids.
Hi there! Bump.
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