Y'know? My name's John Bodine, and I got to RMA on January 17th 1990. Never graduated, and proud of it. I spent last night and part of today reading a bunch of the posts on here, and I don't understand WHY YOU FUCKERS ARE STILL SCARED. What the fuck are you scared of?? Look, you might have been the worst, most perverted teenager the world has ever known... but your perversions would be fucking boring compared to those of the people that ran RMA. Look, it was a long time ago. No matter what you're guilty of, you didn't deserve that. Remember how they used to say "it's not a jail, there are no fences"? Well, I've done some prison time- and it was a cement-themed vacation in a green jumpsuit compared to Rocky Mountain Academy. I'd rather do 5 years in a state prison than another year in Bonners Ferry Idaho, and you can fucking quote me.
But I digress. My point (if you want to be charitable and call it that) is: stop being so fucking scared of these people. What they think is not important. How they feel (especially about you) is not important. They can't hurt you anymore. Don't be afraid to speak your name and talk about what you endured, if you think that it will bring you a greater measure of peace. I am not ashamed of any part of what I am, and the time I spent in that little corner of hell is a big part of who that is. We can all bitch and vent and quiver with rage at the memories, but those of us who survived that shit are more powerful because of it. We learned manipulation, obfuscation, method acting, deceit, and rage as a weapon from absolute masters of the craft. Admit it. It wasn't what they meant to teach us, probably- but that's more or less the only worthwhile stuff I learned while I was there.
Keep your head up. Stay strong and sleep well. There isn't a single staff member that worked there while I was there that I couldn't disfigure permanently with a crowbar if it came down to it, at this point. The same is probably true of you. THEY CAN"T HURT YOU ANY MORE.
I'm not making that much sense. I hope this helps someone.
-jon