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Messages - NOT12NOW

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The Seed Discussion Forum / what art said?
« on: July 26, 2006, 07:37:30 PM »
Thats a funny sort of story, isn't it?  The construction crew was all druggies and became the first people to be saved.  Presumable they  arrived there to work.   Doesn't sound like a bunch of people who might be dead in a year.   Maybe he hired some contractors who were know to be fuck ups looking for converts.

It's a very christ like story isn't it, he opens his arms to the people and the needy masses come.  He feeds them bean and crackers and makes them whole again.

I remember he said that everybody lived in that first building newcomers and staff.  Staff taking shifts sleeping in front of the door
to keep newcomers from using again.

So was Libby supposedly the first, person he got straight on his boat?
What about Shelley I remember him telling a story about meeting her at the playboy club.  That story really messed with my wiring; first because they were both at the playboy club which even to my little 12 yr old mind did not seem like the sort of place the Messiah or his chosen should be, and secondly cause he said  when he met her she poked some other girl in the ass with an umbrella to get her away from art cause she wanted him and I knew that was most definately game playing.  

Eventually I got the nack of avoiding confusion, conflict and anxiety.  I just thought of art and shelley as gods who's actions were beyond my comprehension ---the lord works in mysterious ways.


The Seed Discussion Forum / what art said?
« on: July 26, 2006, 05:38:46 PM »
Right, I remember andrews ave.  Was the drunkness and homelessness supposed to have happened after the acting career?
What are the stories you remember about the dog?

Does anybody remember the name of the film he used to tell us he was in?

The Seed Discussion Forum / what art said?
« on: July 26, 2006, 11:20:03 AM »
I remember art telling stories in group about the first seed but I don't remember what those stories were.  I am looking for what his story was more than what the actual facts were.  I remember something about locking a couple people in an apartment and staying with them all the time to stop them from drinking.  He told these stories all the time but I can't recall them. Does anyone else remember what he said about the seeds beginnings?  

Also, I know he said he stopped drinking with the help of AA but I don't remember any stories about rock bottom drunk days.  Does anyone else remember him telling such stories

The Seed Discussion Forum / The "Other Parents"
« on: July 20, 2006, 07:28:13 AM »
So sad.  
Greg let me get this clear your sister, freedom is endora?
Endora I also used to dream of my parents  appearing to take me home in my early days before the seedling brain wiring jelled.
I've read both of your stories before but so never quit understood  the exstent of the tug-of-war  between your parents.

Please tell your mother that many of us are heartened to hear of a parent who not only didn't buy it, but fought to keep her kids out.

thanks to you both for your always generous posts.

The Seed Discussion Forum / "the rules"
« on: July 10, 2006, 07:54:00 PM »
No it was a younger girl.  She was like fifteen, I think, she had very blonde hair.  I can't remember her name.  She started a few weeks before me so she was a newcomer early in may 76.  Later when she was back at school she split and got started over again.

The Seed Discussion Forum / "the rules"
« on: July 10, 2006, 10:17:00 AM »
We weren't really told.  We weren't instructed in much more than the fact that we were shit.  
But it sucked there and I wanted out, badly. To move ahead--and out, you did and said and aspired to the same things the rest of the group did and said and aspired too. Everyone else "shared" their dreams for a future in which they would be helping others-- if they didn't make staff of course.  My professed dream was to be a juvenile court judge, so I could send kids to the seed.  That was my line and I stuck to with hysterical glee.  

There was a girl there with me who got really told off when she said she intended to be an artist.  For that penalty she was told she was shit in every possible way for several hours.

The Seed Discussion Forum / First dates
« on: July 05, 2006, 07:07:00 PM »
I am wondering about other people?s experiences with returning to dating/relationships after the seed.  
I started a relationship with another grad after I had been out about a year.  Thinking we were granted with that special seedling wisdom made us believe our love was grander more meaningful than regular love between regular folks.   Conversely we were also fearful that our feelings for each other were a sign that we were fucked up.   We went out many times before we even admitted we were dating let alone kissed.  I remember wondering how it a first kiss could happen with out playing games- how I could indicate interest without flirting?  
Neither of us ever went to the seed after we graduated but still, we ran our relationship on seed principals, total honesty, constant scrutiny and regular confrontation. That coupled with our delusions of grandeur made our relationship a grand Opera.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Clocks at The Seed
« on: June 27, 2006, 08:48:00 AM »
On 2006-06-21 20:43:00, Eudora wrote:

I used to mark time by the shadows on the floor, mealtimes, kids getting in from work or school... all kinds of things.

 I remember  counting time in these ways and the strange disassociated feeling it gave me-- time moved so slowly there but trouble happened so fast.  One wrong word and a morning of route recitations could become two hours of insult hurling (hopefully at someone else.)  

I don't remember if no clocks was a rule for newcomers--like no reading newspapers or listening to the radio but I know there were no clocks outside of the staff office at the Cleveland seed.  
Before my year in the seed I had never owned a watch but that year it was the only thing I requested for christmas( I was an oldcomer by then.) As I remember most oldcomers wore them.

The Seed Discussion Forum / 76-77 Seed Grads
« on: June 06, 2006, 08:23:00 AM »
I do remember one Saturday we skipped the SEED and spent the day out in the woods by the Corbit area.  Said we had car trouble, my brother, Greg G.(from Jupiter)  

Wow you actually, blew off a day consciosly knowing that you were playing hooky?  You are my hero.  I would never have done that, to afraid they would read my mind.  During my three nights, when I took days off i always had some elaborate explaination I told MYSELF as to why I had to stay home that day.  I was always trying to squash my awareness that I actually hated raps.   If I thought it-- staff might sense it and then god help me then.
In Cleveland guys and chicks were not allowed to ride in the same car.

The Seed Discussion Forum / The inevitable death of Art Barker
« on: May 11, 2006, 11:49:00 AM »
"i'm just wondering how we say "you die bitch"
and sign off with love and peace

Doesn't confuse me.  It's called mixed emotions, ever have them?

The Seed Discussion Forum / Cleveland Seed Revisited
« on: May 11, 2006, 11:47:00 AM »
"Ya I know you you lived in Shaker........How are you?   Karen K

Hey Karen I'd love to PM you but I can't if you don't log on.  I hope you will soon, or if you like PM me. amy

The Seed Discussion Forum / "the rules"
« on: May 10, 2006, 08:01:00 PM »
Sorry screwed up quotes.  I was trying to reference Karens mention of a rule--not going over staff's head and no going to Art for anything.

The Seed Discussion Forum / "the rules"
« on: May 10, 2006, 07:55:00 PM »
[/quote]Anonymous wrote: 


And what a silly rule that was.  I only saw Art from the audience when he did his benevolent holiness act.  I remember him looking around when he announced graduates to see who popped up.  He didn't even know my name and there was a chance I might ask him if I could go to the Mall with Karen and my mother?  Get a clue  

Cleveland chick 76-77[ This Message was edited by: NOT12NOW on 2006-05-10 16:56 ][ This Message was edited by: NOT12NOW on 2006-05-10 16:56 ][ This Message was edited by: NOT12NOW on 2006-05-10 16:59 ]

The Seed Discussion Forum / The inevitable death of Art Barker
« on: May 10, 2006, 03:13:00 PM »
On 2006-05-08 14:08:00, GregFL wrote:

"Lauderdale, where is your sense of humor?  Ginger's joke was not only funny, it was set up perfectly!

I agreed it's funny.  Stripe laid out the subject but the joke was all Ginger's own.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Cleveland Seed Revisited
« on: May 10, 2006, 03:04:00 PM »
I am fine K. Glad to see you posting here.

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