Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - dniceo7

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 17
Open Free for All / bump this thread if you are baked
« on: November 09, 2007, 03:42:44 AM »
Quote from: ""Botched Programming""

and to think that's a crime.

holy shit am I baked.

I think that movie would be amazing haha, I would love to see the finished product, though I hate thinking about raps so much that I'd never want to be apart of the process. not that anyone was asking...

I'm in my last semester of school and one of the classes we take as biz majors is 'service leadership', where the meat of the curriculum is working with a major non-profit to tackle some of their most pressing business problems, whether it be corporate sponsorship or international growth or whatever. but a lot of the class is spent in the classroom trying to "discover our authentic selves" and "create self awareness" and what not. my point is that a lot of the discussions seem to be rap-oriented...we sit in circles, we're encouraged to be "open" (open body position anyone?), we're encouraged to call people out on things that may hinder them as they enter the business world...

my point is, my classmates all seem to think this is an incredible class and are loving the feedback they are getting as they prepare to begin careers. I, however, think the class is a nightmare. the discussions are so closely related to raps (without the yelling and dirt lists of course, but still...) that I become physically overcome with anxiety as we dig deeper into the class. I shut off, am afraid to say anything to anyone, avoid making eye contact so as not to be "indicted", and take every opportunity to skip the class that I can. (I used the recent so cal wildfires as an excuse to miss it 3 times). this is far from who I am...I am normally very outgoing and have skipped maybe 4 classes total in my entire college career before this class. I had thought I had moved past the flashbacks and memories and overall lingering effects of CEDU, but this class has shown me that that is clearly not the case.

bottom line is, raps fucked me in the head pretty badly and I am right there with anyone else that is filled with dread when faced with anything that resembles a rap.

Quote from: ""try another castle""
You know, I used to think that, because of what I went through, I was somehow more impervious to mind control. "Yeah, man. Now I can spot that shit a mile away."

I've done a 180 on this.

I think it makes us more vulnerable.

We may cognitively understand the inherent flaws and blatant abuse that are what make up this industry, but brainwashing doesn't rely on that. It relies on causing your fight/flight/survival instinct to overtake your rationale.

Now that we have the scars, that means we have buttons. Triggers. When we are triggered, we immediately feel fear, vulnerability, a desire to retreat, to get away from what is scaring us. We lose functionality. We question our defenses, our perception. In short, we pretty much become useless, because our ability to think clearly and rationally is compromised.

I think that this is the same for any victim of PTSD, of course. But we went through organized, systematic abuse. Abuse which can maybe cause predictable results in a subject who is triggered.

This country is currently producing a generation of people who are like this.

Chew on that.

holy shit you are fuckin' right. I won't pretend to understand this country or society or anything well enough to agree with the last part, but the rest of it is just frighteningly true...

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: November 06, 2007, 12:38:27 AM »
Quote from: ""3xsaSeedling""
I know what u mean (you Yankees really suck!!)  Like I opted to pay ARod all that money to begin with, right?! :rofl:  

Do you think I'm referring to 'you' personally?  Not at all.
Do you think all ARods actions this season were okay w/me?  Not at all.  
Do you think I'm picking on Tony?  Not at all.

All I meant was cheating is cheating-no matter who's doing it!  
And just 'cause everybody's doing it, doesn't excuse it in any way.
And what I think makes no difference ('cept to me).  It's just that that kind of crap makes me lose interest.

And the national sports figures can cheat and 'roid and whatever else they want:  I still have to vacuum and wash the windows, ya know?
It offends me because they're ruining my entertainment  with all this crap !!! :flame:

hahaha but the difference is, the patriots aren't really apart of me. but the red sox are. my hatred...ok sorry, my disdain for the yankees is disdain for all their fans as well. I don't like the dodgers but I don't have a problem with their fans ;)

you're right though, cheating all across sports is seriously hampering its entertainment value. we pats fans are quick to defend our boys but we weren't too happy about the whole ordeal either.

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: November 05, 2007, 02:22:03 PM »
that got me thinking. no one ever makes a big deal when baseball teams get caught left and right with video apparatus in their home stadiums used exclusively for videotaping and stealing opposing catchers' signs. football teams steal defensive signals all the time from the booth, but no one says shit. it's only when a team like the pats or the colts gets caught doing it that people say things...

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: November 05, 2007, 02:15:39 PM »
Quote from: ""3xs""
did you set your clock back?

I can't talk football either (Giants fan in a Cowboy house,   :o  sshhhhh).
Plus, 'you guys' cheated!  Crap like that makes me loose interest and get angry/frustrated, so I just don't bother.
If I want more of those experiences I'll repaint my house, again   ::seg::

wow, that's awfully blatant. first off, I didn't do shit. I hate when people walk up to me and tell me I cheated, as if somehow I've been taking snaps for the patriots on sundays and then repressing the memory by tuesday morning. second, there was nothing illegitimate about that win yesterday. taping signals or not, the 2007-08 patriots are without question the best football team to take the the field in a long time. and you are INSANE if you think the pats were the only team taping signals. that'd be like saying barry bonds is the only guy in baseball who took roids (and taking roids isn't even on the same level as taping signals). no, most of, if not almost all of the other teams were doing it too. it's not like the pats invented the video camera. it's just that eric mangini and the jets have been looking to stick it to belichik for years and they finally caught something and ran with the chance. once that news broke, all the other teams probably stopped taping signals for fear of being outed too.

pats' 2007-08 record when taping signals: 1-0
pats' 2007-08 record when not taping signals: 8-0

I'm sure you'll find a way to say the sox cheated too. francona clearly had to videotape torrealba's signs at the plate in order to win that series, right? that's the only way boston teams win, right?

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: November 04, 2007, 10:59:23 PM »
just goes to show why I love football so much. it's not so much about football itself (though the pats make it hard not to be from boston and love football), but more because baseball's offseason just makes me sick and boras is at the heart of it. it's refreshing to see guys going out and putting it all on the line for non-guaranteed contracts every weekend.

that being said, I haven't been paying attention to the a-fraud signing fiasco at all,but.... $350,000,000?!?!?!? this guy is single-handedly going to bring a salary cap to baseball...

after no dreams about cedu since leaving, I came across this thread the other day and, sure enough, had one last night. not sure how profound it was though, but it was definitely a bit of a nightmare. I was in my room trying to sew a 1/4 of bubba kush into the collar of my columbia jacket to bring back to campus while the escorts were trying to break down the door. finally one came through the window SWAT style, I ended up at NIBH, and I woke up late for class.

I'm glad I had this dream. helps me realize how stupid it is becoming to be so stuck on those shitty days during my waking hours when my subconscious thinks it's all one big fucking joke.

the dreams went away but they have been replaced by the dreams I had at ascent. not dreams about ascent, but the exact same dreams I had AT ascent. I remember that when I was at ascent I was very, very aware of my dreams...not only could I remember them all in the morning (which I've never been able to do otherwise), but I could remember the exact moment when one dream faded to black and then into the next dream within the same night. I can never remember my dreams otherwise, but these dreams are so vivid. I know this doesn't offer you much insight but at least you know there are plenty of us out here being haunted by the cedu family just like you...

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: November 01, 2007, 05:29:40 PM »
sorry, make that $33 mil + a year for a-fraud, not $23 mil.

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: November 01, 2007, 05:28:26 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote from: ""3xsaSeedling""
That's just ARod being ARod   :rofl:  ::roflmao::  ::roflmao::  ::roflmao::

Yeah, you've lost your mind alright.

last year i was PRAYING that the sox didn't fuck up and sign barry "I'm 29 and I'm already in my twilight years" I'm praying they don't let lowell walk and sign alex "mr. ICE COLD IN october" rodriguez. seriously, we could either sign a-fraud for about $23 mil a year now, or we can save our cash for dustin pedroia, kevin youkilis, jacoby ellsbury, jon lester, clay buchholz, and papelbon in a few it even a debate???

let mr. ice cold october go play in the AAAA. oh sorry I mean the national league. does anyone else think the paw sox would've swept the rockies as well? I do...

I thought the friendships I made there were the best I'd ever had because when we were there, we were bonded together so strongly against a common "enemy". I would still say one of the friends I met there is the best friend I have, but the rest have gone stale. No matter what you say, we were not that same people there that we are now. And not in the way that everyone changes over time. When I read through my old phase portfolios and restriction notebooks and propheet journals recently, I couldn't remember writing most of it, it felt like a completely different person wrote all that brainwashed bullshit. The real tests of friendship that come with the real world showed just how bullshit most of those friendships were. So yes, I agree almost whole-heartedly with Castle, those friendships may have seemed unbreakable at the time, but I could honestly care less about 90% of those old friends nowadays.

Unfortunately, CEDU left me with a feeling of distrust for anyone who hadn't experienced what I did, so the first few years on the outs became extremely lonely as I realized how bullshit most of my CEDU friendships were. With the closure I've begun to feel over the past few years have come some really great friends, and yes, THESE are the best friends I'll ever have...these friends I truly connected with on my own...CEDU friends just happened to be there at the time.

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:30:29 AM »
couldn't care less about hurting feelings, just gotta watch out when you hurt a 14 year old's feelings, they got laws against that kinda shit...

anytime the sox win it has to do with the yankees. as soon as papelbon struck out seth smith I was on the phone talking shit to any friend I have that happens to be a yankees fan, but they deserve after the shit they talked in '03. I left the rockies fans alone, I mean seriously, who could really dislike the rockies? maybe when they've actually been around for a couple decades. denver fans are having a rough enough week as it see favre's bomb on the first ot drive tonight? and you know as well as I that us sox fans pull for 2 teams...the sox, and whoever the yankees are playing. yanks could have 60 rings. sox are still the reigning champs  :D

gonna be strange watching torre manage d lowe and nomar.

Open Free for All / Rules for a Safe Halloween
« on: October 30, 2007, 12:44:28 AM »
DEFINITELY stay out of small towns in maine...

....because they all float down here.

Open Free for All / BOSOX
« on: October 30, 2007, 12:41:20 AM »
since I guess being too lazy to go back and sign in after I've already started writing my post makes me a 'boosox' fan, I'll go ahead and take ownership for starting this tread (and posting a couple replies). my writing style isn't too hard to spot so I'm sure you can figure out which ones were me. don't want to be a 'boosox' fan after all.

for the record though, I will say signing girardi over mattingly was a damn good decision. I was definitely hoping the guy who turned a bunch of kids in florida into a competitive team would end up back in the national league and the yanks would get a rookie manager at the helm. no such luck.

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 17