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Lighthouse of northwest florida (fka VCA )/ Rebekah / Roloff ) / Re: VICTORY CHRISTIAN ACADEMY JAY FLORIDA
« on: May 19, 2011, 12:46:10 PM »
Stumbling across this was enlightening. I attended Victory Christian Academy from August 2001- Feb 2002 when i was 15. What a nightmare. My life was forever changed and i still deal with the challenges of trying to live a normal life and fitting back in to soceity. I don't feel as though i belong because of being torn out of the "real world" and left in a facility where we weren't allowed to talk about what was going on. I'm 25 now, divorced, with 2 kids and i live a good life. My relationship with my parents is good now but the second I dwell on the "Victory Days" i hate them all over again..
I suppressed most of the feelings i've had about this place and my stay there because this is what we were taught. We werent allowed to talk about problems, the past, our fears, and our pain. How on Earth is this supposed to help us be healthy adults? I'm JUST NOW (10 years later) going to get some counseling because i know there's a lot of emotions deep inside that i have hidden. No one really understands what we've dealt with in our lives except the other girls who attended. You can't really explain it to anyone because you cant remember most of it. I remember bits and pieces but cant remember people's names. I know i was a dorm helper towards the end because i learned how to fake it and game the system. I came home after 6 months and wasnt even sure if i wanted to stay home because i was so brainwashed into thinking anything but christian hymns, the Bible, and their rules was ungodly and i would suffer death and go to hell. A 16 year old girl has enough problems without having to deal with these "cult thoughts". I blocked this out for so long that i have forgotten so much! I wish i knew the names of the girls who touched my heart and who made my stay there doable. I am forever grateful of the few sincere girls there and some who's homelife made my heart literally ache.
I can't express enough how emotionally devastating it is to spend a holiday without your family at that age. I was there for 9-11 and couldnt experience the full effect of what our nation went through as a whole and i will never entirely "get it". No one can really understand what its like to not talk or be on "silence" for 30 days, write 1200 lines, or be unable to go outside for 3 months unless they've lived it. I dont know ANYONE who has gone to a "reform school" and now that i know the feelings of insecurity, anxeity, and not be good enough are common side effects of being here i feel less alone. Thank you all for commenting and sharing your experiences. I hope I can find someone who attended while i did to talk to and catch up!
I suppressed most of the feelings i've had about this place and my stay there because this is what we were taught. We werent allowed to talk about problems, the past, our fears, and our pain. How on Earth is this supposed to help us be healthy adults? I'm JUST NOW (10 years later) going to get some counseling because i know there's a lot of emotions deep inside that i have hidden. No one really understands what we've dealt with in our lives except the other girls who attended. You can't really explain it to anyone because you cant remember most of it. I remember bits and pieces but cant remember people's names. I know i was a dorm helper towards the end because i learned how to fake it and game the system. I came home after 6 months and wasnt even sure if i wanted to stay home because i was so brainwashed into thinking anything but christian hymns, the Bible, and their rules was ungodly and i would suffer death and go to hell. A 16 year old girl has enough problems without having to deal with these "cult thoughts". I blocked this out for so long that i have forgotten so much! I wish i knew the names of the girls who touched my heart and who made my stay there doable. I am forever grateful of the few sincere girls there and some who's homelife made my heart literally ache.
I can't express enough how emotionally devastating it is to spend a holiday without your family at that age. I was there for 9-11 and couldnt experience the full effect of what our nation went through as a whole and i will never entirely "get it". No one can really understand what its like to not talk or be on "silence" for 30 days, write 1200 lines, or be unable to go outside for 3 months unless they've lived it. I dont know ANYONE who has gone to a "reform school" and now that i know the feelings of insecurity, anxeity, and not be good enough are common side effects of being here i feel less alone. Thank you all for commenting and sharing your experiences. I hope I can find someone who attended while i did to talk to and catch up!