Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I recently talked to someone who is thinking about sending their son to the Arivaca Boys Ranch.  I told her I would help her do some research on the place.  Does anyone have any info on it?  Thanks.

Did I read you correctly above? I.e., that Foster Cline came to Aspen Ranch to give a talk or workshop on parenting? What was the talk about?

You read correctly.  We were given his book and asked to read it before we came to the workshop.  My wife went to the workshop and reported back that she thought it was very informative and well run.  If I remember correctly, she said that he lectured and then they had breakout sessions where they discussed the book.  The kids joined these discussions on the second day of the workshop.  

And for those interested, an update on my son:  He graduated high school and is in the process of moving into an apartment and he starts community college next week.  He is a very bright young man that chooses not to put too much effort into school, but he has stated that he is ready to start taking things more seriously (only time will tell).  When I told him that Aspen Ranch was closing, he had very mixed feelings.  His first thought was "that's great, now no other kids will have to go through what I did."  About a week later he told me that he was a little sad that it had closed because there were kids and teachers/counselors there that he did like and that he was hoping to go back one day and visit.  All in all, he is doing better, but still has a ways to go(don't we all).

Nigel, at this juncture (which is still quite early in the game), do you think that sending your son to Aspen Ranch was worth it?

Good question, but I don't have a great answer.  In hindsight, I wouldn't send him there again.  The question that I can't answer is "what would have happened if I hadn't sent him?"  No one knows the answer to that question.  If faced with the same situation today (knowing what I know), I would probably search for more help and try to keep him at home.

There is obviously a lot of debate here concerning "therapy."   I will not join the debate, but I will say that any parent that sends their kid to the Aspen Ranch (or any other school in kind) should do as much research as possible.  The biggest question all parents want answered is, "is this the right decision?"  I am not going to nitpick about what is "therapy" and what is not.  My son got "therapy" at Aspen Ranch.  We paid for a therapist to meet with him.  Aspen Ranch had  a "therapist" on staff that met with him twice a week.  I am not a lawyer and I am not going to argue what constitutes a "therapist."   I will say that my son got help while at the Aspen Ranch. Was he also suppervised by people that didn't have a positive influence on him--yes.  Did he spend time with people that only wanted the best for him---yes.  Parents send their kids to places like Aspen Ranch only as a last resort.  I am still wrestling whether or not places like this are the best option.  I am not sure whether or not I will ever have the answer, but I will say that it doesn't do my family any good to dwell on that.  We are moving forward.

I am curious, Nigel, I assume you had psychological and academic testing done on your son, either prior to or during his stay at Aspen Ranch.  Was the individual who perfromed the testing, if it was a done, a psychologist and what instruments did they use?  What did his scores look like?  Was there a discrepancy between his verbal and performance scores?  Your description of his inability to carry out academic goals might be answered by appropriate testing.  If testing was done prior to Aspen, it might bode well to have him retested.  Frequently, depression can negatively surpress scores and a change in his scores would and could identify that.

Without going into detail, yes my son has been tested by two different psychologists (prior to going to Aspen Ranch).  He is currently seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist (by his choice).  We are supporting him every way we can.  He is 18 now, so he is making the decisions and I try not to give advice unless asked for it.  On a positive note, my son just told me he wants to go with me when I travel to see my Mom (we will be gone for a week).

It's been awhile since my last post.  Thought I might let those interested in knowing how things are going.  My son is doing well emotionally.  He has some friends that he likes to hang out with and he has a girl friend that I really like.  He has a new job---bus boy at a decent restaurant---that he really likes.  He seems to be working hard and enjoying his co-workers.  The area I am hopeful he will improve in is school.  He did very poorly the last semester.  At times he will say that he has no interest in getting an education, and then two days later he will ask if I can take him on a trip to visit a couple of colleges (we have one planned).  He claims he is going to get his act together, but he doesn't follow through.  I have stopped "nagging" him about it because that got me nowhere in the past and probably even backfired on me.  I am hoping he will find something he has a passion for and then pursue it.
He rarely talks about Aspen Ranch, but when he does, here is what he has to say----"it was like a prison", "some of the people there were good and they cared about us, but some were total assholes", "I liked some of the kids there","some of the teachers were into their subject, but most were lame", "why would anyone send their kid to a place like that", "I didn't like it, but it did give me a chance to gain some perspective." (I am obviously paraphrasing).
I am not sure how I feel about Aspen Ranch.  It is hard to say whether or not it was the right thing to do, but as I have stated  before, it was the decision we made at the time and there is no going back.  I will post again and let you know how things are going.

Wait a sec...  Whooter has always maintained that any parents pulling their kids from the program are making a grave mistake.  Whooter claims that only kids who complete the program have a real chance to "succeed."  Has Whooter now shifted his stance?  Does Whooter now believe that kids pulled early will be "successful"?  If so, why send them in the first place?

My son and I are home.  Wednesday was quite the adventure as I left Las Vegas at 4 am and drove 6 hours in some pretty bad conditions to Aspen Ranch.  The drive back was much easier as the sun came out and the road was in much better condition.  Flight home from Vegas was bumpy but on time.

In response to the above:  I pulled my son early because I felt like it was the best decision, considering.  My son is turning 18 in a couple of months, and I knew that he would probably walk out (on his terms).  He had been working very hard and I decided to bring him home and reward him for his efforts.  Whether this was a good decision, you never know.  I did discuss this with his therapist at the Aspen Ranch, and we all agreed that it was probably the best thing to do.  

We have already met with the dean at his new school and he is signed up for classes.  We have a meeting tomorrow with his psychologist here at home.  We are trying our best to support him in every way possible, but ultimately, it is up to him if he truly wants to make positive changes (he claims he does).  

Many thanks to those that have sent their best wishes.  We are trying our best and keeping our fingers crossed.  I will post again to let you know how things are going.

Can't say this is a "troll thread."  It's packed with factual information about Whooter, his motivations and his role in the TTI.  I'm glad it's here at the top so people can have an understanding of Whooter and how he does business in the TTI.  Now, I've known for many years what an abject liar Whooter is, but this is a great synopsis for the uninitiated.  Don't get snookered by this money-grubber, parents.

Funny, too, how Whooter posts and then NIGEL posts a few minutes later in a thread he's "never posted in before."  Go figure ; )

Now that Whooter has to login, all of his "supporters" have simply vanished.  Strange coincidence?   :rofl:   Hardly.

Perfect----Another conspiracy theory.  Is Whooter Nigel, or maybe Nigel has actually been posting here all along as Whooter.  Either way, it definitely adds to the topic (not).  As for the fact I finally posted on another topic----I have been reading all of the different threads for awhile now so that I can stay as informed as possible.  The reason I posted here is that I was "called out."  

Now---if Whooter follows this up with a post, you will know the answer to your question.