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Messages - pepper53190

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1
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / LOOKING FOR SURVIVORS
« on: September 06, 2005, 02:07:00 AM »
1. Which program did you attend?

Straight Orlando 90-92

2. How long were you in the program?

30 months

3. Why were you sent there?

Drug use and chronic runaway

4. Did you feel your parents were justified in sending you away?

sure.

5. How did you get there? Escort service pick you up in the middle of the night, or did you go willingly.

Parents tricked me.  They said we were going to check this place out.  Few other parents came along for the ride.  I ended up staying.

6. If you went willingly, do you feel the program was misrepresented to you? If so, how?

N/A

7. Education: Did you get a good education while you were in the program? Did you have teachers who gave lectures or was it all self teaching? Did you receive a high school diploma, or were you able to finish and get a diploma on time? Do you feel the education was adequate and helped you move on to college?

You couldn't go to school on 1st and 2nd phase and since I spent a majority of my time on those phases I just got my GED and and a job at 16.  Education was not at all a priority.

8. How was the food? And the cleanliness of the place?

ok, I guess.

9. Were you abused? If so, how? How many times? By whom?

I'm not really sure how to answer that.

10. Did you witness others being abused? If so, what form of abuse and how often?

Again I'm not sure how to answer that.  Too many instances I'm not sure where abuse or something that could be justified.  I was a teenager.

11. Overall, was your experience positive or negative?

negative

12. If it was positive, please summarize your experience.

13. If it was negative, please summarize your experience.

Summarize 30 months of my childhood?  It sucked.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / S.A.F.E
« on: May 30, 2004, 10:44:00 PM »
Life is what you make it.  You choose,  no one else does.  I have buried a lot of people from SAFE/Straight because they held on too much.  Embrace your new life, Learn who you really are, not who they wanted you to be.  Take what good you learned and walk away from the rest.  Choice is a powerful thing if you holster its power.  Go to meetings, listen to how it really is, smile because you know you are all good my friend.  Just dont waste time, if your young, it will go by fast.  You'll look back like alot have and say "If I had to do it over I would do it better....."

And for gods sake STAY OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS FOR A WHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer Aguilera
Straight 90-92

Celebrating 14 years tomorrow!!!!!!!!! Yea for my choice :razz:

3
Just curious, I read in the article that there were no actual ex-Straight clients present.  Is this true? And if so, why not?

4
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Anyone Here Living in North CA?
« on: January 15, 2004, 05:07:00 PM »
I was curious, I just haven't had any luck finding people to talk to out here.  Feel free to IM me at [email protected]

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am an exsafe counselor
« on: December 19, 2003, 06:09:00 PM »
Yes, Ginger and I go way back.  I have learned that she is very passionate about what she believes in and that she will NEVER change her views no matter what. And as crude and unrespectful of other peoples opinions as she is, you kinda learn to scroll past her posts with a smile.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I am an exsafe counselor
« on: December 19, 2003, 03:51:00 PM »
I have just finished reading some of these posts (some got redundant after a while)  Being as I respect both sides, I am not going to shun either opinion.  I think the coolest thing for me was to confront some of the people on my program face to face after getting out.  I made a point to search some of them out.  If I couldn't talk to them I would here that they were not doing so well so I reached the conclusion that they were sick not me.  And I was able to tell some of those people what I needed to so that I could heal from the experiances I had.  Because to this day I stand on the fact that it wasn't the system that screwed up it was the people and their disfunctions who screwed it up.  I choose to only think of the good that came out of my experiance.  Frankly I could care less how anyone else deals with it, I'm not them, I wasn't there when they were. We are all different and there isn't any medical jargon that can fix that either.  Peoples pain are their own, unforunately some feel the need to push it on others but whatever.  Well with that I suppose I'll leave it. :wave:

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Dallas Straight Pictures
« on: October 28, 2003, 11:53:00 AM »
Hey did any of you Dallas people get transferred to Orlando or St. Pete?  I think it was in 90 or 91?

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I attended an open meeting this month
« on: October 26, 2003, 01:22:00 AM »
When I am round people I know I am the same way. My issue here was the straight definition of honesty. I found myself talking about things that are really no one elses business. Learning when to stop was key to continued growth.

I haven't read responses to this topic in a while.  I recently lost a job for the very reason Clay from above said.  I could never learn when to shut my mouth.  I always feel it nessecar to talk about how I feel about something.  I don't know how to fake not being upset about something.  I am starting to get very helpless about not controlling emotions. I started new meds even (lithium) and they aren't even helping.  My god the things I say to people, and it is NONE of their business. They probably wonder what the hell is my problem.  And shit, since I stopped going to AA, I have NO social life whatso ever, I don't know what to talk about to regular normal people. fuck what a failure I feel I am.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Anyone Here Living in North CA?
« on: October 26, 2003, 01:47:00 AM »
I was wondering if there was anyone who was in the Straight or SAFE program that lives in Northern California or San Fran area.  Be nice to know.

10
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / The Fucking Weak.
« on: September 12, 2003, 01:09:00 AM »
Just curious, which Jenn don't you want to hear from?  So as not to piss you off further?

11
I really enjoyed everything everyone said. I thought about a lot of it.  Everyone talked about phobias and such.  Weird thing I came up with, is that I think I might have gone to the other end of the spectrum (extreme). The comment someone said about me being a self help junkie and so on is about right.  I love public speaking and talking out in large groups of people.  I have no problem talking about how I feel, and analyzing situations.  I suppose in a way I am a little concerned about this finding, but it seems to work for me.  So what would be wrong with it.  I guess I just don't know any other way.  I too have question my alcholism, but I don't think I would know what to do.  I's a mom and stuf now so it's to much of a risk to find out, besides what would be the big deal.  I live in California now, and I stopped going to meeting about 2 years ago. I was tierd of listening to everyone white knuckling through life, I was beyond that and felt like it was time to move on.  Sound snobby?  No, cause I respect were they are, it's just not where I am. I am recently trying to find a shrink, cause I can't deal with daily desicions and I can't seem to work with any issues with out someone to guide me.  I know I am this way because of STRAIGHT, but I have had choices and the ability to change, I just can't figure out why I won't make that change.  Too comfortable perhaps......who knows, those are just my thoughts.

12
Oh that was me up there, forgot to sign my name.

13
but it was the whole atmosphere, even in OMR.....

14
It was my mom and I's first return to the program that changed our lives.  It was the first time since 92 that we sat through an open meetung, only this time it was in the back together watching.  It was so awesome for us.  I even got up and they sang Happy Straight Birthday to me for my 13 years.  Let me tell you what I see different.  It is so much more laid back.  They do not try to run the clients by intimidating them.  There was laughter and smiles (except from those who just got there)I spoke with the new guy who's running SAFE and he seems so open minded.  It is not the same place anymore.  I wish I could've stayed longer but I was on limited time (dinner reservations).  Please feel free to email me if you want to know more, I don't get here very often any more.  [email protected].......love you all and wishs of the peace I have found.

Jennifer Aguilera
90 - 92 Orlando and Tampa

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Coming into Group High
« on: May 03, 2003, 03:23:00 AM »
Never heard of too many people getting high, but they sure did get laid.  5th phasers doing Jr staff, Sr staff sending love letterd to Newcomers.  Some got busted smoking or huffing something, not getting a buzz but got started over. What a waste.  When I copped out I think I realized on my own that I didn't want to drink anymore, I think because it was a personal choice I never drank again.

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