Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

With all due respect, they are all abusive in some manner.  You did get lucky and your son was capable of overcoming small levels of abuse.  
How long was he in for?
I'm interested to see results of those that have done a full year or more versus those that got the "shock value", but weren't in long enough to be hurt.

You know, too many weirdos out there. At least with you people I know WHY you are weird!!!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Straight_Inc_Alumni/' target='_new'>Kady

I live in a state with some laws that have good intentions, but become barriers from help.  We were on our own to figure this out and because the behavior went from bad to extremely dangerous we went too fast and made a bad choice.  I'm not talking about smoking dope, I'm talking about someone being murdered.  My daughter would have been there had I not gotten a call from school that day and went to talk to the dean.  Because she was skipping a class, she was on restriction when her group was involved in murdering one's grandmother.  She could have snuck out, but I checked the security contacts on her window and found that she disabled it and I was able to fix it.  
For any of you "victims" that want to jump on parents for making these rash decisions, try to walk in our shoes.  We could all just ignore the problem, but we choose to try to help others avoid the mistake.  We won't be successful if you bash visitors and you make us not want to fight for this cause.  

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
--Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor

Man, I'm sorry to hear that.  They are all different.  I have two older kids that I didn't have any real problems with, but this one has put me and my wife through the ringer.  I know the feeling all too well.  You think things are getting better and you get a call or find something and it's like getting deflated.  You can feel your life leaving you.  
Drugs are a different problem and one that we didn't have much problem with.  What I know about drug abuse is people won't stop using until they hit rock bottom.  
Again, I don't think that is your answer, but you won't get an argument from me either.  I've played cop, judge and prison warden in my own home and I didn't like it.  When I dropped my daughter off I was so mad, dissappointed and every other emotion you can have that I hoped that it would be the harshest environment possible.  When I recovered from my own despair I was able to think it out better.
If you want to put your kid in a WASPS or if you already have done it, it's understandable.  Just don't think it is going to fix him because it won't.  It will get him off the streets and let the rest of your family breathe and that certainly helps.  If the place is close enough to visit, I recommend you do it without calling ahead of time.  Keep track of his weight as boys usually lose about 20 pounds and girls usually gain about 20 pounds because it makes it easier to keep control of them because they lose self confidence.  Whatever grade he is in will be the grade he is in when he comes out because they don't actually educate teens.  In my experience the school didn't have the staff to help so most kids just stare at a computer screen for hours.  They can also get away pretty easily (most places) so don't think he is safe.
The problem is you are right, nobody cares about people like us.  They think we are bad parents when our kids behavior goes in the toilet, but when we need help nobody is there.  I find that there are a lot of parents that don't care at all and those are the kids that your child can hang with and have access to everything you try to avoid.  People have suggested pshycologist and that isn't going to work.  If your son tests positive for drugs there are other services.  I work with someone that has a son in one and it's working very slowly, but working.  It's about the same cost, but they see him at least once per week and he is now able to visit home for some weekends.  There is a lot of interaction between the child and parent.  WASPS use a method of isolation from the one thing the kid needs the most - Family.

I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
--Robert Frost, American poet

Parents should visit http://www.isaccorp.org
It is full of useful information on all of the schools in question.  You may also find people that are helpful and understanding.  
I also ran a search and found two people that have open letters posted that you should find just by searching by school.  They seem sincere, not like this message board.  
Good luck to all of you, I have much to do and not the time for the games here.  

The strength of the Constitution lies entirely in the determination of each citizen to defend it. Only if every single citizen feels duty bound to do his share in this defense are constitutional rights secure.
-- Albert Einstein

Before I called anyone an idiot, I think I would find out what the circumstances were for their actions.  My daughter would be the first to tell you we did all we could and were extremely desperate.  My wife had to sleep with her to keep her from sneaking someone in my house.  She dismantled our security system among many other deceitful and manipulative things.  Two days after she left, her friends killed one of their grandmothers and took her car.  My daughter was a speeding train and I jumped on the tracks to save her.  I could have let her experience the law or something like that.  You're a whine ass that has no idea what they are talking about.  We drove seven hours to take her to that place so don't think it was an easy way out.  
She was still a disaster after we picked her up, but she finally saw the light.  We are very close and always have been.  I don't feel good about taking her there, but I'm far from being an idiot.  

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell

I'm pretty sure it was immediately.  What I remember was the "counselor" that arranged for us to drop our daughter off handled everything.  
As everyone else in this situation, you feel desperate and alone.  When someone tells you they can help, you are quite willing.  
AES seems to be a legitimate financial aid business, however there is nothing on their website that describes loans for this kind of education.  I have an email into them now.  I want to do the right thing and I don't want to pursue or punish those that aren't guilty.  If they have already paid Darrington, I need to fight for them to be reimbursed.  
I will probably have to sue.

If you want a voluntary urine sample from me it'll have to be a taste test.
--Bumper Sticker

I thought about not paying, however the "alleged company" that financed this is AES.  Do you know if they are one in the same as the school itself?  There are definitely items that I don't think they would want exposed.  For example:  Our first warning sign was when a three month supply of my daughter's medication (a narcotic)was gone in under three weeks.  It was a pain medication for migraines and the only person that had access was the "nurse" who issued them to her as needed.  Days before we decided to go get her, three girls ran away and were picked up by someone who fortunately didn't hurt them.  Out in the middle of nowhere.  The only thing that kept my wife and I from going crazy was knowing she was safe and that obviously wasn't the case.  

Hear me people: We now have to deal with another race - small and feeble when our fathers first met them, but now great and overbearing. Strangely enough they have a mind to till the soil and the love of possessions is a disease with them. These people have made many rules which the rich may break but the poor may not. They take their tithes from the poor and weak to support the rich and those who rule.
http://www.powersource.com/gallery/people/sittbull.html' target='_new'>Chief Sitting Bull, speaking at the Powder River Conference, 1877