Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

just to clear things up, it wasn't linda topp that left her off the headcount. i forget the name of the family mother but she was kind of young, short hair, newer to the facility.

it wasn't necessarily her fault...headcounts there are more of a formality than an actual record of where everyone is. they are not strictly regulated at all. it is common for a family parent or other staff to just put a general location when they're not sure but THINK they know where they are, etc, karlye's bunkmate thought she had gone with her family rep, and before that the family mom had seen karyle talking to her rep. half the time the family parents don't even do them or the junior staff does. i can recall a number of times where the headcount would come up short and we couldn't figure out where someone was and the family parent would basically disreguard it, assuming they would radio another staff and figure it out, or check at another location as we pass it, etc. there is also not a rule about checking all the stalls before leaving the cabin...it was more the system that was at fault than the family mom. i know she had enough guilt from walking in on her and having to see it. i am not excusing it by any means, and that's not to say that it wasn't terrible and negligent. i completely agree.

i also agree about karlye's mom...she definately didn't help her situation. she was very cold and programy to her, especially since karlye was on level one most of the time, and parents are told to be especially unforgiving and tough until they improve their status. it would be especially tough for her if she gained points and then lost them over something small. she would just get even more frustrated and angry and feel like giving up. she felt very alone in that place, especially after they put her into integrity with girls she didn't know (she had been in destiny for a long time before that).

the whole situation is just heartbreaking. the karlye i know would not have wanted to die. they pushed her to it.

Very few people listened to Karlye or gave her any attention aside from restraint and time in the hobbit.

Her parents were not very supportive of her. Imagine being completely depressed, wanting to end your life because the stress the program is causing you is too much to bear along with your prior issues, and your parents refuse to listen to a word of complaining, because that is how the program designs it. no phone calls, just letters here and there. Filtered communication. Family reps whispering into their ears.

And Karyle, having the same routine every day without progress, getting constant drops for dumb consequences. She really did try hard. She was such a good person. I worked her family 3-4 days a week for 13 or 14 hours a day (I was a upper level student, "junior staff"). It was hard to devote all your time to a certain "lower level", but I tried as often as I could to talk to her because she seemed so lonely and angry. Some staff were great, of course, but not enough of them to really make a difference.

At the time of the incident, I was with someone that had a radio, and in the middle of everything. I was one of the first students to find out, and it really rocked those of us that knew her. I felt so sick at the time, so dizzy. Karyle was not even dead when they found her, and she was in there for a fair amount of time alone. I hate the fact that she suffered. She was med flighted out and died on the way.

As I remember it, the family mother and her bunk buddy thought that she had gone with the family rep after group therapy. So she was marked as accounted for on the headcount when they left for the classroom. Shortly after the news of her death, all the upper levels were brought to the court and Cameron Pullan talked to us about what had happened. That night, they sent us to work in the lower level families to help them cope, and then four admin staff went to all the cabins and informed the families, one by one. The following nights Cameron and Chaffin did memorials for her, one for the boys and one for the girls. They were very emotional and moving. But then, Karlye's name and the incident became forbidden discussion. I don't think anyone knew how to cope with it. We were conditioned to forget, and it was so. She was just such a good person. That's all I think about. She didn't deserve to be treated like she was.

I really appreciate everybody's input, and after I get some information from my insurance company, I should be able to make some decisions financially and start looking for someone. I may have to pay out of pocket because we have an HMO, but I have access to university doctors here so that might widen the field a little.

I am a little skeptical about EMDR, just because there seem to be conflicting views about it's effectiveness and repuation on the web. I will definately look further into it but I'm very resistent to trying something radical, just because I feel like I don't need any more confusion psychologically.

I also appreciate the advice about seeing several therapists before choosing one - I had never really thought about that before but it makes sense. So much of my therapy didn't work just because I didn't feel like the doctor understood me or knew how to help me. Or maybe I just wasn't comfortable enough to talk about everything.

Posting/reading on here and myspace definately helps me, but at the same time I get frustrated with the lack of awareness elsewhere, especially when it comes to people in my life. Explaining your problems to other people becomes much harder once it involves a behavior modification program. It basically caused a breakup with my boyfriend of a year. Not to mention my parents won't really listen to any bad things I have to say about WWASP. Truly listen anyway. They'll say they understand and that they're sorry, but the minute I start showing them stuff from Isac they stop hearing me. My mom actually walked out of the room when I was reading a breakdown of the behavior modification process that they use.

Anyway thanks for all of your help Three Springs, CCM, Badpuppy and Julie. I think it's great that there is a support system on here too.

Emily

and the teachers that do have degrees are not there at all times, that was my main point. students DO NOT have access to a degree-holding teacher at every class period. about 1/3 of the time, there are either no teachers in the classrooms (first morning period and last night period), or there are test graders that are simply "aides" with no education. they can do nothing for the students except to try look at answer logs for the tests and help them that way. that is ridiculous, especially when the academics are supposedly so great at SCL. what a joke.

hahaha 12 therapists? 40 hours a week? yeah right. mike linderman and his fucking "cabinet mountain health" crew are jokes. they should have their licenses stripped.

neither cameron nor chaffin went to college, and they are the directors. do the rest of the detective work yourself. none of the shift leaders or flex staff have education past high school. many of them are meth addicts or alcoholics. one family father was convicted of distributing meth. half the "teachers" don't even have degrees. god forbid they spend the money to hire an entire staff of qualified teachers, instead of a few to head the rest of them. what's the need when all you do is grade tests off of answer logs? if you're going to spew your unbelievable bullshit, cite some FACTS, some NAMES, specific DEGREES, anything.

oh wait, you can't because you're full of shit.

god. now i think i fully understand the meaning of the word "troll"

in your dreams they have 5000 books. you're so full of shit.

You have "an" MA (less some english classes?) in being a dumbfuck.

You seriously can't be defending the education in WWASP schools. Let's stop with all these generalities that you trolls love so much.

I took Chemistry at Spring Creek. That consisted of reading a chapter, taking a test, reading a chapter, taking a test, etc...for  19 chapters. These chapters were thirty pages long and contained very difficult material. Half the time the test would ask something that wasn't even IN the book, and I would be expected to "figure it out." I read that fucking book all day long, for months, and was forced to do an insane amount of work to understand something that could easily be explained to me by the right person, in a quarter of the time. I learned nothing but to regurgitate information onto a multiple choice test, and retain it for a very short amount of time before moving on to the next material. There were never any mid-terms, and the final was just a replica of the study guide they give you beforehand. You do it, memorize it, and take the test. Two weeks later, it's gone.

However at a public school, in addition to reading a book, I would receive in-class instruction from a QUALIFIED instructor, be exposed to labs and group work, taken field trips, and have the ability to ask the teacher questions and actually get answers. Hell, the chemistry teachers at my old high school would stay an extra hour afterwords just to help students out.

You're so dillusional it almost hurts.