Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

On 2006-03-05 22:42:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Do any of you think Hyde is interested in improvement by understanding how many people they have hurt?  Do you think they are interested in hearing or reading about the harm they have caused? Is Joe or Malcolm Gauld capable of change?"

I don't think that they are capable of perceiving the incidents and emotions described on this website as "hurt" or "harm;" I think they tell themselves that these types of revelations are an expected and, in fact, healthy byproduct of Hyde's challenge to everyone to realize their best. I think they tell themselves that the complainants have sadly failed to respond with requisite character to the challenges that Hyde School has presented to them.

Therefore, I think that they see no reason to change in response to these revelations. To the contrary, I think they tell themselves it's everyone else (e.g., complaining former students, faculty, parents, the rest of society) that needs to change. For example, see Joe's letter to Hyde parents:

 (see http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... 160#149627 )

"Isn't Hyde Ever Wrong?"

"Of course Hyde is sometimes wrong. ... However, I think the question implies that maybe the parent and not Hyde knows better about a given situation ... This question simply does not respect the role Hyde is supposed to play in the family structure.  Since kids-and their parents-have been far more immersed in this counter growth culture than has Hyde, Hyde can be far more objective about how to best address the true final judge on growth issues. We are in a better position than parents to determine a student's true best, and further we consider our commitment to help each student realize that best a sacred truth."

On 2006-03-05 22:42:00, Anonymous wrote:

"We are hearing more and more people speak out about the lasting negative affect Hyde has had on their lives. I for one feel ashamed. Ashamed that I allowed Hyde to push me into being a bully and a snitch. I thought I was doing the right thing by following the program, but I now realize the harm I could have inflicted ... Does this make sense to any of you? Would love to hear how others feel about Hyde and about what I have expressed."

What you expressed makes perfect sense to me.
It's far more pleasant for me to experience feelings of anger toward Hyde than it is to experience my feelings of shame. I, too, feel ashamed of having caused harm, or at least increasing the potential for harm, to students and parents. I, too, feel ashamed of having been in thrall of Hyde School. I've been carrying those feelings around with me for a long time.

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
Former Hyde Staffer

On 2005-09-21 12:08:00, Anonymous wrote:

"If they are present staffers, they wouldn't post.  If they are former ones, they want to put the ugly mess behind them!  Most staffers who leave Hyde want to forget they were ever there!!"

Well said.  

While I understand and appreciate that many people -- including people whom I love and respect -- feel good about their life experience with Hyde, my own feelings about that experience are not pleasant. It's not pleasant to reflect on my own participation in activities that harmed, or might have harmed, others, particularly former students.

When I see that present and former students and parents are still reporting on this website the types of abusive and harmful behavior that I witnessed, experienced, and participated in many years ago as a staff member, I feel remorse for my own part in those activities. I also feel a need to assure those of you who were harmed by this behavior that, no, you're not crazy, there's not something wrong with you, it's not a personal character flaw on your part: you lived through a traumatic experience, your life experience is valid, your feelings have merit, and, in many cases, we adults did not serve you well.

I thank Lars, tommyfromhyde1, and the other unnamed intrepid souls who have created a forum here that gives people the opportunity to address these issues.

To those unnamed ones who mock people like Lars and tommyfromhyde1 for their "inability to put the past behind them," I ask that you take notice of the vehemence and force behind your reaction, and consider what exactly it is about their testimony that's making you so uncomfortable.  Is it possible that, when you watch other people address this issue in their lives, it raises some scary questions within you about your own life? There's nothing wrong with that, because, after all, it _is_ scary, and I don't particularly like thinking about it; but don't take it out on them.

In the long run, this type of personal inquiry may prove to be of benefit to us all. Consider this article from  http://www.telegraph.co.uk:

Clarke wants terrorists treated like victims of cult brainwashing
(Filed: 02/10/2005)

Charles Clarke is studying proposals to combat Islamic terrorist groups by treating them as religious cults.

The Home Secretary has told colleagues that anti-brainwashing techniques used to "deprogramme" cult members could be employed to fight the sort of fanaticism behind the July 7 bombings.

"What we know about other religious cults may offer some insight into how these men ended up behaving in this appalling way," he said last night.

He believes that there is no point in seeing extreme Islamists in the "classic" mould of revolutionaries fighting for a political cause. A closer parallel is with recruits to cults, who often come from educated backgrounds and are "brainwashed" into renouncing society.

One example, he said, was Mohammed Atta, the leader of the September 11 hijackers, who was an architecture graduate. Mohammed Sidique Khan, one of the London bombers, was a classroom assistant in Leeds and was married with a baby daughter.

The Home Secretary cited the work of Inform, an organisation specialising in cults, which emphasises the need to perceive how victims of brainwashing see their circumstances."



Former Hyde Staffer