Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I have worked as a wilderness instructor at Aspen SUWS program. Most of the kids have stuff to work on, but it is a result of  where they are comming from and that is what we are missing, yet the kids are the ones sent away to do the work while parents continue on in their lives with little changes. The program I worked saw amazing opening up of situations and short term changes in the kids, some were real, some were the kids doing their best to act the way we asked them to, and who knows how real or lasting it is. In situations where the kids life is on the line these intense programs are better than the ER or the morgue, But they have costs, I believe they are tramatic for some kids and can be really hard on the body, doing long lasting damage in some cases. There are gentler ways of doing therapy. And sometimes what the kids are in need of they can't get in the program.  Often deception is needed to get kids to enter the program, info is misrepresented to parents and kids, and if they are even told much detail and accuracy at all the parents and kids rarely grasp how harsh the conditions will be for the youngsters, especially when physical and emotional state are combined.  And even though kids are under 18 and have little legal say over their welbeing holding people against their will doesn't seem right, no matter what age. The kids bear the brunt of a problem that is much bigger than them, they are afterall kids, they grew out of the environment they were raised in.

Sometimes the situation is the result of unfortunate situation beyond anyone's control, like death or adoption, however many times there is a whole lot to be improved in the home life and with the parents or guardians, and this is the limiting factor of programs because parents are not willing to hear this and kids get sent off and the parents just talk to therapists for a handfull of hours on phone calls, rather than being able to be there as part of the program like the kids. I meet many parents and understand why the kids have so many issues. But it's the parents who are sending the kids off to be "fixed". I would preferr to work with whole families instead of with one member of the family, the kid, who is often reacting naturally to a very out of balance surrounding where they are not able to get their needs met in a healthy way. So I would prefer to look at the larger picture of creating healthy local cultures for kids to live in and be nurtured by rather than spending loads of money to send them away to boarding school. In most instances there is still relapse risk involved on the part of the child and parent so boarding school is the next best thing, if you are ok with having other people raise your kid for you. And if youre sending a 11 year old off to boarding schooll think something is wrong at home, 11 is pretty young.  
If you are thinking of sending your kid to a program you can email me at [email protected] for any questions about my experience as a head instructor with the SUWS program