Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

at the time i was really struggling with my eating habits.  the possiblity of gaining weight from the meds and the food really set me off.  so, i never got reamed for turning anyone on.  back then i was very awkward and to turn any of the boys on in those clothes...you had to be very curvy.

i saw what they did to this girl for having the misfortune of having large breasts, the tears rolling down her face because the staff though it was her fault that she made the boys horny.

i was completely fried from the medication and for over two years i woke up drooling on my pillow.

ulrich was out of control... was barely 100 lbs and he had me on 3 meds--depakote, zoloft and trazadone--and before i left, he was planning to put me on tegretol.  yeah, what a way to keep someone down.  

one kid was on, i think, 13 med.  he eventually got off, but i remember the torture he must have went through drinking crushed up pills in apple cider when some guys broke into the medicine closet-thing at RMA.

im on nothing now.  diet has really helped.

the lights were all dim and shit.  one staff member--a female-sang along with good ol' lennon's "beautiful boy (darling boy)" to a grown man.  weird, i say.  was it before the life-boat?

i was the last one to fulfill by character role.  i dont remember why they picked princess leia.  probably cuz i had a real potty mouth and could be pretty harsh.  the whole thing was rather humiliating and the effects to this day have been troublesome.

the whole placement of the hands thing was harsh for me as my bone-structure wouldnt allow it.  they conceded to this and allowed me to let my arms go inward--palms still up.  the fact that i had to tell them this and ask permission was incredulous.  anybody could see that i was in pain--my face was contorted from it.

i had to go back into town to complete the urban challenge.  the first time was in spokane and the second time in bonners ferry.  supposedly the schools thought i split the second time and kept trying to pick me up.  i had to walk all the way back to bca--little me in my stick legs.  i learned that i had to bullshit and lie to get through this, like giving my money to a homeless person.  funny that i felt guilty.

at the time i was a vegetarian--still am--so the fare they gave me was rather meager.  not saying they everybody enjoyed eating stale sandwiches, but i think i just got a slab of cheese and mayo.

i remember tidbits, but my memmory lacks continuity.  i remember instances as splotchy  or indistinct, except for a few key experiences.  one day, i suppose, i wont be scraping the pieces together into the semblance of a remembered past.  perhaps i dont want to or there is a reason i cant.

hey andre, i was in your peer group--in bca.