Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I didn't come to a "hate: site as you call it on purpose.  I was looking for some new avenues to help me find my own information. Trust me I haven't taken one of these folks advice without further checking it out on my own or anyone else's for that matter.  i have been researching schools for about 2 months and I have called the parents and spoken to kids about many programs. at one point I asked someone, and I don't even remember what site it was, about the school. I couldn't find anything seriously adverse about Wisdom Ranch and that't why I posted here. Before I ever logged onto this site i found some attrocious things about many schools written by parents and children, the folks here referred me to those sites again. I have said this before, I do think there are good programs out there, but I have found bad things on most all of the those I've looked at in person and on line.  One program had an ad for Diamond Ranch that was hiring some kind of staff for oversight or something that said no experience necessary, will train, What!?. I am smart enough to know that everything isn't Disneyland, except Disneyland and I want to know the people who have been unsatisfied and I can judge my self whether they were just complaining or it was abuse they underwent. It does happen.  Doing research on my own has been intensive, but I wouldn't hire a consultant to do it for me.  I do know that kickbacks are prevalent in every big business and that does not give them the ability to be objective, in my mind.  Do educational consultants sign on for any liability for their referrals?  i bet embedded in their contracts is a release from liability.  I'll rely on my own judgement thanks.  I did check out struggling teens long before i ever ended up on this site.  There were some good stories, but I saw alot of parents struggling with the same issues with their children when they got home. This entire issue is so sad and it's epidemic.

All religions have been made by men.
--Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor

How the heck are you supposed to know what is what here? I do know that kickback systems work well in United States to help businesses get referrals, it happens all the time in my business and I'm certain it happens in others. I am notorious in my business for refusing them, they are unethical so shame on anyone who accepts them for this purpose!

I am going to ask this question please don't blast me, objective input only, thanks

Does anyone know anything about Wilderness Quest?  

Everything in moderation, including moderation.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/external-search?tag=circlofmiamithem&keyword=mark+twain&mode=books' target='_new'>Mark Twain

Thank you for the mentor link.  I have already contacted some of them via email for info.  For some reason, in the past, I haven't found that site and I've looked.  I guess it takes a village (not just a cliche).

I appreciate your help

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-- George Carlin

http://outside.away.com/magazine/1095/10f_deth.html

Thanks, found something here, gives mixed info.  Written fairly well in contrast and does mention something about Larry Olsen and his background at BYU.  This is a Mormon based program.  Will keep searching for something.  Plan B is looking more feasible.

All contemporary religions and churches, all and every kind of religious organization, Marxism has always viewed as organs of bourgeois reaction, serving as a defense of exploitation and the doping of the working-classes.
--Nikolai Lenin, Russian revolutionary

Thanks to all of the people who have given constructive criticism and input.

I will look at Anasazi and Blue Hills.  My son will go voluntarily and he knows that things are going to change dramatically.  I do want to be careful, as I've mentioned.  I would participate in anything that would help my son.  He won't run he's not that independent.  Once he's backed into a corner he folds for awhile, but then jsut tries to figure out how to manipulate the situation. The parental control idea is a great one.  The problem is that, again, his friends have so much power over him that even my mandates are thrown aside in the moment when his friends are present.  I work, of course and although my schedule is fairly flexible it's school where things occur and when I'm gone at work.  Bottom line is I'm by myself and he's 6'2" and 200lbs and I can't tie him down or hold him back physically. I have done my share of chasing him down, regular drug testing, calling the police the 2 times I've found pot in my house and busting up parties.  Right now, he's at his grandparents house just to get him away from his friends.  They are there all day and he really goes no where except to counseling until I can figure out what we are doing about school.  You'd think that grandma and grandpa would be a good alternative, however, in short, what he sees there is his 36 year old uncle still living at home recovering from years of drug abuse, aunt lives next door and is still putting her life together from years of drug abuse and of course his dad died at 34, in his parents house still after years of drug use.  Does enable and co-dependent ring a bell here?  I definitely don't want history to repeat itself and if he stays there I'm sure it will.  Believe it or not I do have a plan B to a program, but I honestly didn't plan on getting into this all that much on this site.  iwas just lookin for input on programs.  If I can't find one, I'll sell my house and move closer to grandmas, bring him home with me so he's not in that environment 24/7 and utilize their help for oversight and help with transporting him to wherever he needs to go, counseling and such.  I definitely don't think that, if he stays here that I'm putting him back in any high school, maybe a GED and a trade school of some sort.  High school is poison these days no matter where they are and especially if your not able to handle pressure from peers.  A mentor would be awesome, but I've searched for that here as well and my son apparently doesn't fit the high level "at risk" type of kid in Phoenix.  Not low enough on the socio-economic ladder to be a priority I guess.  Anyone know how to manufacture a good "dad"?  That would be helpful.  I would also like a group type of counseling that included positive peers, haha.  Which, leads me to my final comment on that.  I have some experience with the anon groups and even had a long time member of NA recommend to me that I send my son to Pathways (on a soapbox of course) and I don't know if any of you have heard about that program, but it was busted up recently because the owner was caught on tape preaching cult stuff to the kids, nice.  Should have taken his advice, huh?  An anon meeting definitely isn't the answer for someone who could have co-dependent tendencies.  if you can take what you need and leave the rest (as they say) your okay, but alot of them can't, it's just transerfence, but not any healthier in my opinion.  Of course, i suppose if you have to choose between death by substance or codependency on a group to stay clean it's the lesser of two evils to be a "2" time anon loser than strung out on drugs and alcohol. I know some nice people that are involved in that, but alot of those long-timers push their ideas on others outside of the meetings, worse than an ex-smoker and don't bother to take a look at themselves and realize that they've given up their substances and replaced them with sex, computers, co-dependence or soapboxes and couldn't get through a sober week without 3 or 4 meetings and of course program stuff trumps everything, even your own mother. If you call that recovery, yikes!  Anyway, since I have gotten much more than objective advice from some of you I though I'd interject my opinion as well.  hopefully it didn't come off as harsh as some of yours have.  Anyway, thanks to all who have thrown in objective, carefully thought out and direct advice without throwing out emotion to the point of insult.

There is something feeble and contemptible about a man who cannot face life without the help of comfortable myths.
--Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, educator, mathemetician, and social critic

I can't find any private messages

Speak gently! 't is a little thing Dropp'd in the heart's deep well; The good, the joy, that it may bring Eternity shall tell.
-- G. W. Langford: Speak gently.

Nobody referred me to this school.  I have done research on about 8 schools and I have a friend who has experience with Diamond Ranch.  Nearly every school I have researched has come up with something scary except this one and I like the concept better than a facility that has steps and limited contact with parents, specific parent visit dates, only calls made that are monitored by staff, that don't encourage you to some see the place,etc.  I have checked their accredidations through ID state and NW schools the BBB in idaho, spoken to the local chamber of commerce and the sheriff.  They have given me ref's but I haven't called them yet.  I chose not to use an education consultant.  I am a healthcare consultant and am very used to having conversations with different types of businesses and can tell generally tell when I am being sold a used car.  I understand that this is "big" business which is why I am trying to be so careful.  Someone posted on here that the staff didn't have teaching credentials, but the bios on the website show those who are teaching have education and wildernes backgrounds. What site were you looking at?  That's why I am asking because maybe someone else has another source of info that I can't find.  I've done everything short of background checks on the staff member, which I may also do.  I even checked recent loan history for the school.  My son does not have any of the behavioral diagnoses listed in the post.  He's struggling with self esteem issues and extreme peer pressure. He does much better when away from the pressures of his friends and specifically here in the city. I wish I had a good solid support system from family, but I don't and I am a single mother. As far as trying a facility close to home.  I live in AZ and there is nothing here that I would get near.  I read an article by someone named Sturdevant that was pretty positive.  Anyone know who he is?  

I give money for church organs in the hope the organ music will distract the congregation's attention from the rest of the service.
--Andrew Carnegie, Scottish-born American industrialist and philanthropist

I do not knowif it is or not, sorry

You know, if Mama Cass Elliot would have shared that damn sandwich
with Karen Carpenter, they would both still be alive today!!!!!!!

--chongo