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« on: July 13, 2005, 02:16:00 PM »
Ok..It was my own research. I'm so damn sick of the lunatic Drs. telling me what I should do. I found it while he was in Rehab back in September of 2004 on the internet. My son actually came to me after he again did something terrible and said he was going in the wrong direction and we did the whole meaning of life talk and you live and learn. I told him I tried drugs in my youth and stole and ran away and he would be ok after he gets off restriction for the millionth time. We went for too much help and it seemed to make his problems worse. Now my main problem was that he was honor roll up to Junior High then failed the 9th grade then failed the 10th grade. In and out of rehab for what he says was harmless drugs and that he doesn't have the mentality to become addicted to anything. He is 17 and said he feared he would give up and quit school and probably do construction for the rest of his life. Some of my brothers do it and hate it. But he knew he couldn't make up school and he basically asked me for some new direction. He told me that was why he was acting out. He is a very loving intelligent child whom I am so lucky to have. The problem is I did take responsiblity for his actions until he knew the difference between right and wrong. I feel no guilt for our decision, I just miss him right now.
My ex-husband and I talked with him about four programs in particular...the others did sound like cults. One was in Missouri called Future Men 4 God, (well he doesn't want to be preached to, doesn't believe in God anymore) and it was 2600.00 a month and a wilderness mentoring bible thing. When we told him we would have to use his college money for that he freaked. Other choice was Job Corps in Gainesville, FL...and it was a residential 36 month program. It seemed ok but probably not structered for his age group. They can do whatever they want, no protection basically. He turned that one down. Now he has no respect for the Military or our Government, which to each his own but for his age I wondered why. Well I found out he's been hanging around some kids at school who are let's say really radical and sing bad songs about African Americans...which he was expelled for singing a tune. That freaked me out. He was talking way too much about Hitler...let's say. I always let him form his own opinions and then we would discuss it. Finally my ex found a family religious bible thing in South Florida we knew he didn't want. The last was a National Guard Youth Challenge program that I found. I actually called parents who's boys were there (ages 16 - 18 only) for the 5-1/2 month program and heard heart wrenching wonderful success stories. Mind you I am a skeptic. We took our son and went to a Tour of the academy, this is a no cost program other than the essentials they need to bring with them, you don't have to be rich or poor to be accepted. They have Approx. 23 states that now offer this program. They focus this program on Mentoring (followed for the next year), Education, Self Esteem etc. Now the first two weeks they learn how to do the normal basics..Laundry, making beds, cleaning and exercise. After that it's about learning and having a life plan...(NOT A BOOT CAMP) but there is a structured environment. I would never ever send him to anything like that. He chose this, it's close to home and he can call me once a week and I write him everyday. Now the success I anticipate. He just started so won't be home until December. I will be able to see him in within the first 3 weeks, then he will get two home passes for long weekends. They offer not just a GED Program but also A High School Diploma Program depending on their scores.
If you would like more info I will post it. But I must tell you this forum scared me shitless!! I am not for Boot Camps or TV shows about them...It wasn't for us. I watch 20/20 too.
Hope this helps and sorry I deleted my post..but I got freaked.
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