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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / STRAIGHT books, screenplays, etc.
« on: February 02, 2002, 05:48:00 AM »
I never got into a physical fight until Straight, I was scared to death of the people I met at Straight. They were so much older(I was 14) and bigger (just under 5 feet) than me. They drove me to violence, to where I did not care if I won or not as long as I got a few shots in. I lost the concern that I would get hurt or I would lose. I really can only credit Straight with that.
In some ways I am grateful I guess because I can pretend not to be afraid when I am, now. I seem to be more confident than I was before, but I am not. I am still scared. I just act like I am not and sometimes convince everyone but me.
Straight I rail against everyday, hating them being resentful to my parents ect.. But they are the defining influence in my life. Maybe I am pathetic but it is true. They changed my veiw of the world and although they were WRONG in their ways I would be a different person today if I did not spend 13 months with them.
I did not get out as a gradutate or even a changed sober person. I was messed up but aware of the lies always below the surface of everything, everyone and every story. This is a trait that angers my family even my friends but it is true. I did not make the lies I only decided to see them and accept the fear that comes along with reality. The fear that probably kept the spieces alive for years before man oraganized and dominated this planet.
I think that it was the frightened man who made rules to live by. Guidelines to eliminate suprises and keep things under his control. It was the confident who was so sure in the final outcome he saw no reason to control the fates that led him there. I do not need to be told what to do is what I am saying don't tell me shit, I was given the instincts to do what is right for myself. For the holy rollers then if I am wrong in anything that I do then your God is not perfect and in your very thought you are against him for he made me, And homosexuals by the way! While we are are at it! :wink:
In some ways I am grateful I guess because I can pretend not to be afraid when I am, now. I seem to be more confident than I was before, but I am not. I am still scared. I just act like I am not and sometimes convince everyone but me.
Straight I rail against everyday, hating them being resentful to my parents ect.. But they are the defining influence in my life. Maybe I am pathetic but it is true. They changed my veiw of the world and although they were WRONG in their ways I would be a different person today if I did not spend 13 months with them.
I did not get out as a gradutate or even a changed sober person. I was messed up but aware of the lies always below the surface of everything, everyone and every story. This is a trait that angers my family even my friends but it is true. I did not make the lies I only decided to see them and accept the fear that comes along with reality. The fear that probably kept the spieces alive for years before man oraganized and dominated this planet.
I think that it was the frightened man who made rules to live by. Guidelines to eliminate suprises and keep things under his control. It was the confident who was so sure in the final outcome he saw no reason to control the fates that led him there. I do not need to be told what to do is what I am saying don't tell me shit, I was given the instincts to do what is right for myself. For the holy rollers then if I am wrong in anything that I do then your God is not perfect and in your very thought you are against him for he made me, And homosexuals by the way! While we are are at it! :wink: