Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Ok. I read the whole string. I need my folks to read it. They are finally seeing that I am held back and there is only one reason why. I oscilate between feelings of greatness because I do know things that poeple who were not STUDENTS don't know. They can't. But the trade off, the very worse part is that I can't hear anything except negativity from people. Even if they don't mean it. It's one thing (one of many) that I have a very hard time with. Even some compliments from people are mistranslated in my head and instead of hearing the voice and words, my thinking only misinterprets automatically and choses the most insulting way possible.
      For all the anon people that are going to tell me to move on, grow up, grow whatever equiptment your perverted minds can imagine in order to become whole again (I can't be absolutely sure what I was since I was only 14) I will just say now that I will be ignoring all comments like that. I know what I need.
You don't know what I learned at RMA. I ran away for months at a time. And there was no restraints and drugs were way way way far from the type of program it was. I was eating snake, mice and dogs down in the desert when I ran away (8/24.88 actually)and was in SEWS. I know why things ain't right in my head and it ain't cause I smoke weed to keep me from going postal with an AR-12 and buying a one way ticket for Spokane like my folks did for me. My hurt comes from RMA. Plain and simple. Messages that I got there that I was unwanted to my parents and that I did need fixing (they break their own ideals, the words are not impeccably chosen, and they are not people of their word). The ratting and faking. I don't trust anyone and I don't walk in the middle of the hallway, I don't sit where I can't see everyone. I thought it was just idiosyncratic, y'know something quirky but it's full blown terror and that don't forget easy. RMA is still making me coo-coo for cocoa puffs!

I would be very surprised if neither were still doing this kind of work. I can think of no other occupation except for prison guard for either. I despise Caroline Wolff still to this day. She got a tit job when I was in Quest (I was in Quest for almost a year) and used to show all the girls and any guys she liked her new goods. This was what I hated most about both of them. Favorites. Obvious feelings of preference for kids based on I don't know what. They chose the kids they liked and treated them like friends- every other person had to hear their wrath. I got a fist for both o them. I used to loved to hear how fucked up they were after moving on as graduates before they came back to the program. If only Randy's throat had fully been severed in his gang fight he used to talk about I wouldn't have had to endure his brainwashed monosyllabic routine constantly. Truth is I never really hated him it's just bull blown resentment. Caroline, I feel differently. I am a man now, probably older than she was when she was abusing me verbally almost every day. I do hate her. She was ALWAYS unkind to me for no reason. So let's talk about the 8 or 9 different abortions she used to tell us about. Just the person to tell young girls how to live. I remember some of the meanest most out of touch things coming out of that disgusting fat bitchy face of hers!

[ This Message was edited by: blownawaytheidahoway on 2004-08-23 12:30 ]

rma grad from 1990 lived in b'lyn last and now am in ...
I would very much like to talk to any graduates of similar schools in my area. Help me find one and I'll be very thankful.

Ok. If you spend three years waking in a cell, getting meals, intereacting with your incarcerators, and getting out every once in a while some days may not look as bad as others. So under that thought process yeah; I was around kids about my age who were into some of the same things, yeah; sometimes I went whole days without something terrible happening that I had no control over, yeah; occasionally someone would even say something nice. But also, I WAS BRAINWASHED. I allowed it to happen when I realized I wasn't going to be allowed anything remotely similar to the freedom I learned as a runaway before RMA. When that happened it got a little easier. Acceptance. That I had no real choice but to "assimilate".
     Then there are the people who really needed these places in a different kind of way. The people who love it I don't hate. Some people were going to wind up dead, od'd, getting gang banged in front of the camera for a coupla toots o' some ol' shit, some were so scared of people that they needed a crash course in how to communicate SOMETHING to the outside world. But in general: people who went there who didn't need the approaches they got (in my opinion) turned out for the worse getting along out in society later. Long lasting effects of programs' modus operandi cause PTSD, and a whole giant host of "survivor characteristics".
     I think we know what I am talking about however I will open more diatribe on this particular aspect becuase it is important to me to see how other people view the Happiness quotient of the facility they were at.

I went and graduated in 1990.
I have been struggling seriously with many issues. I have disappeared for a while since my discovery of this honest and exposing site, but I am back with computer and plan to write about my experiences to whomever will listen. And to any prospective parents: It will be spiced with vinegar and served with a sneer. Thanx, CEDU "re-education program"  :flame:

I will call. I have been going through everything that I own from RMA. I kept the NB's and i've got everything else too. I will call. I will try to get to the computer more too.

On 2004-07-15 08:51:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I got out of there and became a skinhead just because of Wasserman. His own people oughta keep a better eye on those like him. He gave them a bad name."