Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Richard,

Thank you for your detailed and compelling post to this forum.  Living with all that in your head for decades does nothing but eat you alive from the inside out.  It is amazing how the passage of time can enable us to see things more clearly.  I applaud the fact that you had the guts to come on this forum and make that remarkable post.  

We need more people like you - one that has first hand experience on the staff side - on these forums that were lovingly created by Antigen and maintained by Psy.  Beware that these are mostly un-moderated forums and they can be brutal.

Welcome.

Quote from: "Guest"

Yes. Listen to Oscar and his rotten toothed, sees his parents 2ce a year, doesn't mind when his parents and coworkers die, and wishes to die "deep inside" (just "like everyone" in his country) wisdom on interpersonal relations!

Cultures are different around the world.  I guarantee Italians or Greeks would be offering different advice than him, for instance (famous for extended families). It doesn't make any way of running a family better or worse, just different.  Generally, the more northern you go in Europe, the colder people are, and the more southern, the warmer...  Actually I think that's mostly worldwide. I think weather has a lot to do with both culture and the temperament of different peoples.

Psy makes an interesting point, that many people might miss, pertaining to cultural differences and how extended and clannish families that operate differently that regular old middle American families handle their business.  You could describe my family as a mix of Italian and Syrian cultures...with the Catholic ideology.  In simple terms, we act like a big Italian family and are ALL very close, as we were ALL raised together.  Do we have problems?  Yes, just like any other large extended families.  Do we all agree on everything...NO, but we support the decisions of the members of the family and offer assistance, even when we DON''T necessarily agree with an action or inaction.

Culturally we ARE different as Psy so eloquently described.  We were not raised to abandon our teenagers or young adults at 18 (through 4 generations).  We "step-up" and offer emotional and financial assistance to ALL family members, young and old.  We try to take care of our own and to come from a place of "love & understanding"...even when we DON'T understand!  We don't condemn just because we MIGHT NOT understand.  This is a life long process

I have always been the rogue in my family & chose to live life differently with my son since I don't always agree with the methods my family uses to resolve issues, but I always keep n mind that they are coming from a place of "love"...as they see it!  We are all tainted by our own belief systems.  I was under the impression that 18 was a magic number and that Dylan would need to be on his own and NOT living in the family home, which he was doing at that point in his life.  He left at 17 and went to live with his girlfriend...much to my dismay!  But, hey, we all need to do what we have to do to find our own path in the world.

 Periodically, I have let him come home to re-group, but he is OUT the minute OUR relationship becomes abusive.  I offered him a chance to come home for 2008, in order to give him an opportunity to learn the "life skills" he will need to go forward with his life once I am gone...hopefully, he will get it before I am gone.  Sure, we have times of unrest, but we try to work through them

I would also like to apologize for the incorrect posting of the link to my weblog. I had inadvertently added an extra "m" to my user name...my apologies as this was not what I expected to be dealing with on Christmas Day.  Here is the correct link... http://www.xanga.com/pammy8462.  My blog is now secure and you will have to register in order to view my "public" blogs.  No to sound harsh, but my parenting skills, however lacking, are not there to be judged, but if you feel you must...go ahead.

What the others have said is true...there was ONLY 1 person who had the link to my blog and they know who they are.  I will not lower myself to a level to even confront that person...THEY know what they did and it was done out of sheer boredom and/or petty vindictiveness.  

Yes, there have been "guests" and "registered users" that have posted on my behalf and I thank them is their desire to defend me or to give an accurate picture of what my family has been through during 2007-2008.  The one guest that posted 2 complete blog entries..with dates and posted in their entirety, was my sister in law who was quite upset by reading this thread and other like it

Like many who have said this before...can't we just end this thread and keep the focus on the work that needs to be done?

17

I will stick with English

Ok, here is a honest insight on Pam and her son Dylan's life, and why Pam puts out the time and effort for you awful heartless people who would do such a thing so....? You all could feel better about yourselves; what does it help you sleep at night cowards!!!!!   I am Pam's adopted daughter Holly.  Why do I have meaning to this discussion, because i am Dylan"s girl-friend and have been since he got out of that hell on earth, torture hole; as you all know!!
I think the fact that someone would go that low digging into someones personal life such as you did is a complete and utter violation... i have been in this family and with Dylan since shortly after casa and NOBODY knows how bad that feels knowing they have made such a mistake and for you to attack this woman shows zero strength in all of you!  

 For what u have committed, posting my mothers personal life on your fornits (talk shit and could NEVER back it up site) is and has been fascinating, but this is so low, so cruel of all you. You all don't know Pam; if you did, what you have all said & done, it would haunt you your whole lives.. Since you sick people will continue on in this blog against the fight to put an end to the trouble teen industry, which your not even focusing on, instead acting like a troubled teen yourselves. Here is something i think everybody should know about Pam, enabler she is not, a kind loving STRONG woman who helps the community and her loved ones such as family and myself more than you sad lifeless blogers who would do such a thing, would be never be of her caliber.

 Since whomever keeps on quoting the excerpts from her personal blogs about her family is not only offensive to Dylan but her entire family, including me. So, now here i am reading what you all have written, posted or participated in the alignment of Pam sickens my soul Only because of the mere fact you are all wrong so please all of you don't beat the horse any longer ---- the horse is dead.    I am appalled at the juvenile behavior exhibited in this thread, grow the FUCK UP PEOPLE AND GET A LIFE i mean come on, its Christmas & you all you all are the scum that fills our world !! sleep well     ....... love always Pam's loving  Daughter        ::puke::    shit heads!!!

I appreciate the respect that was show to the blog i created for my family while I was in the hospital and an 4 month old infant in our family was dying a slow and painful death...these were very difficult time for me and my entire family.  I do not appreciate the omissions of dates and entries taken out of context.  I will not defend myself in any way shape or form; I have absolutely nothing to hide.  I invite you ALL to read the ENTIRE blog, in context, with dates.  http://www.xanga.com/pammy8462

again...carry on people.  Merry Christmas

Quote from: "A few FACTS"

Make sure you have all the facts before you judge....

1) my son was not kidnapped/escorted
2) I inspected the facility BEFORE he was placed
3) We looked at schools together
4) HE chose Casa over the other options we had researched TOGETHER

there...have at it

You are one of the parents who were legitmately conned. You didn't have your son kidnapped--you didn't participate in that act of torment and crime. You made a mistake, but its not one that you need to feel like you are bad person over. A lot of the guests who post here do so merely to troll. Just ignore the nasty ones. They are trying to drive you off on purpose so that parents like you don't share your story. Don't let yourself be manipulated or emotionally hurt.

This is just the beauty of "free speech" on an unmoderated forum.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion...I don't take any of the comments to personally.  Bottom line...I have to look at myself in the mirror every day....I now know what I did was a mistake, but I have done everything in my power to "right" the "wrong."  My son BEGS me to "let it go" and to stop apologizing...he knows how it went down.  

Does the opinion of these people of me matter MORE than what my son thinks about me???   NO NO  NO

Quote from: "Miss Antsy Pam"

I wish there was something like these forums to help me back in 2003, but very little was know at that time.

That's not accurate. Fornits was up well before then, and plenty of threads were on the topic of WWASPS.

http://www.fornits.com/phpbb/viewforum. ... start=4500

Excuse me..but I did not use my computer recreationally and hang out in forums or chat rooms....I worked!  Go ahead...judge me all you want.  Bottom line...I DID stick it our with him.....more than you will ever know!