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The Seed Discussion Forum / Some insight(s)
« on: November 22, 2005, 08:53:00 PM »Quote
On 2005-11-22 11:40:00, Antigen wrote:
"More evidence that the road to hell is paved w/ good intentions. Dude, much of that "awareness" you gained at the tender age of 9 was simply not the truth. The truth is that, given the right circumstances to provide perceived authority over another, yes indeed, a 9yo kid can impeach and pressure a grown man to the point of emotional breakdown. But do you truely and honestly think that the program dogma that spewed forth from that 9yo boy's mouth was accurate assessment? Do you think you actually had some special powers of perception? Or do you think maybe it just seemed that way cause, so long as you were spouting the party line, everyone in the room seemed to agree with you and defer to your authority?
I had a very lonely childhood due to having believed what you just said. There I was, about 9 or 10, telling off my elders, busting them for unSeedlinglike comportment and all that and getting all kinds of strokes for it. Why wouldn't I believe what all of my elders said? I liked hearing that I made sense and had unusual wisdom and clarity. I was completely taken up in the moment to the point where I treated my schoolmates and neighbor kids as inferiors. After all, I had the gift of Seed awareness. I was a good little honorary Seedling who would go on to do great things. Them? Poor bastards, 90% of them were destined to grow up to be druggise. It would be sad, I thought, to have to watch that. But maybe I could reach some of them before it was too late. Oh now THAT made me very popular! :roll:WHEN SPIDERS UNITE, THEY CAN TIE DOWN A LION
-- Ethiopian Proverb
"
I just spent twenty writing a billiant reply which is now food for the cyber gods. I don't have the energy for quite that level of brilliance so this will have to suffice even if it happens to be less worthy. If you are asking if I recognize the involvement of my ego in those experiences then the answer is yes. Do I agree with your argument that awareness was an illusion? Not at all. Can I not learn about others as I learn about myself. Could anyone not see how someones set of fronts were something they used in spite that they no longer served. I have my own conflicts from being there twice. I acknowlege that but the early seed was something different from what it evolved to. So I sit with you on some of this while at the same time I have to ask by virtue of what are you able to attack this percieved sin of "awareness" without being awash in guilt of the same crime in and of your very statement. Yet there is much I agree with in terms of this lttle gift as a source of validation. Am I bad because I needed that validation? The answer to that very questions is the road down which I traveled to being all f*'d up in the first place. And so we go on...Peace