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Messages - former CEDU therapist

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46
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / These post's are getting worse!
« on: October 23, 2004, 02:23:00 PM »
Bryan, I'm a bit thick. Please tell me that you're not serious about all this stuff that happened to you. I'm slow-witted and need asisstance! I do hope you're kidding here.

47
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / These post's are getting worse!
« on: October 23, 2004, 02:22:00 PM »
I remember that she was working hard to figure out who people were. She said that Deborah and I were "compatriots" or some term like that. It was truly amazing that she would put as much time and effort as she did trying to figure out who was whom and to link us together. She also accused posters of having more than one username. I'm sure that happens - but what business is it of hers? That woman really was very psychologically involved in these posts in an unhealthy way. I'm glad she's gone - or I hope she is!

48
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / These post's are getting worse!
« on: October 23, 2004, 01:45:00 AM »
Hey, Laura - remember when o5 criticized you for your username?! Wow. As usual, you handled it with panache. I love your posts!  :smile:


Quote
On 2004-10-22 22:37:00, mikehunt wrote:

"the oppositional ottawas made shit interesting...

 :roll:
"

49
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / For the parents... you should be concerned about your kids!
« on: October 09, 2004, 02:46:00 PM »
Parents are desperate for a solution to their problems. The issue here is what works best? Many of these schools do not have outcome studies. And if there is a study - say, how is the student doing 3 years later and how was the adjustment afterward - what about a control group? A control group is a group that you don't do anything to.

The problem is that you can't conduct such a study. You can't take 1,000 troubled kids and send half to a school and do nothing with the other half. And there aren't studies showing specific schools' outcomes vs other treatments. So, parents don't know what to do.

Based on all of your experiences, what would you suggest to parents? It's one thing to say what NOT to do... can you think of alternatives? What about behaviors that could harm the teen for the rest of his/her life? So, what would you suggest here? Every situation is certainly different, but there are a lot of smart people in these boards with a lot of experiences. I've seen a lot of wise posts here. Let's give parents some tools!

50
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / All the sluts From Cedu
« on: August 14, 2004, 04:35:00 AM »
Hi, I haven't been there for years. If you were there recently, we don't know each other. You can email me at [email protected]

I felt that this thread is inappropriate because we have no reason here to attack the kids. I want to protect the kids - this site is for talking about CEDU; not slamming the kids. That's why I posted that comment.


Quote
On 2004-08-13 23:36:00, Anonymous wrote:

"hey i am new to this...umm who are u former cedu therapist? like whats u're name maybe i knew u.....umm i personally think that we might need this thread cuz i know one of my friends from cedu would liek to vent as well as many other friends of mine. But i can see where u're coming from at the same time cuz it might be negative but then again it is up to the persobn that writes a post so i guess it can be taken as good or bad."

51
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / All the sluts From Cedu
« on: August 14, 2004, 02:24:00 AM »
We don't need this thread.

52
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Staff - Blood sucking maggots
« on: August 09, 2004, 02:48:00 AM »
You make an excellent point here, and you write with intelligence and passion. The vast majority of the time, all the parents need to do is communicate with respect for their kids' feelings. I have such great difficulty getting parents to see this! They think their kids' feelings are unreasonable or irrational, real communication doesn't occur, and everything goes to hell.

I saw a lot of wounds inflicted. I would never support a synanon-like program. Never. They only cause terrible harm to people. I do think there are some good short-term programs - but the parents have to be willing to look at themselves and learn how to communicate.

The only cases in which I recommend residential are drug addiction (you have to detox) dangerous gang activity (you have to remove the kid from his geographical area) and violent psychoses (you have to keep the family safe).

When a kid is involved in gang activity and there is an immediate danger, I encourage the parents to send the child to a loving relative. I also advise them to move - as a family - to another state. They sometimes point out that this is very difficult - jobs, home, etc. I ask them how much their child's life is worth.

Only as a VERY LAST RESORT do I advise to send to a school. And I choose carefuly - never a Synanon-based program. Although I was never an employee of CEDU, I learned a lot there. I don't have any interest in ever being involved in a place like that.

I have worked in facilities for gravely mentally ill persons - certainly a different kind of population... and we had love and kindness for our clientelle. We had huge waiting lists of persons who wanted to live there - an entirely different kind of place from these kid places.

I hate to see the pain here in these posts. I hate to know that so many were wounded as they were. I do know that there are places that operate out of compassion and are not driven by the dollar. And I sincerely hope that no child will ever need any kind of placement again.

Quote
On 2004-08-08 22:38:00, Antibody? wrote:

"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I'm going to agree with Antigen on this one.

You can't get real with a kid without communication on a more personal level than force. What ever happened to compassion?



I continue to see kids come out of CEDU burning with anger, shivering with fear, and, with no idea who they are or how to care for themselves.



They can't apply for jobs, work, relate to real problems and live with people rationally. Their soul has been broken. Their life has been the institution. Their God a machine that throws a tray of food in front of them. No wonder they are lost in a matrix.



It is correct that parents pay to have the job of raising their kid done by someone else, someone without attachment to anything but a paycheck - and a feeling of ritiousnes.



Staff, - These people are rescures of inauthenticity and legends in their own minds. In reality, they are empty, nothing without that false praise used by the system to enable their hidden arrogance.



They are nothing trying to be something - at your, and your parents' expence.



As for escorts - damn the escorts. They are maggots, leaches, sell-outs."

53
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / How About This Theory
« on: August 08, 2004, 05:02:00 PM »
I hate to say it, Ottawa, but forcing a kid is sometimes necessary. I have had parents deceive the kid every time we go for placement. Here's the deal - the kid is deceiving the parent all over the place. I have deceived clients by telling them I would not call 911 when they took a bottle of Tylenol. Of course, I do call. I did not get into this business to be complicit in someone's suicide. Don?t want me to call 911? Then don?t call me and tell me you did that!

NO kid is going to go along with going to a placement facility. Why would they? It?s hard enough to get adults to get help. Alcoholics lose homes, jobs, and families, but keep on drinking. How do you get someone with terrible judgment problems to make good decisions? You can?t. I?ve been to too many funerals of bright young people with promise to think that you have to ask them nicely if they want to go.

The key is knowing who really needs it. That?s the issue. Also, as has been mentioned in these posts, decent academics would make a big difference. And number one ? decent, kind staff who don?t think that they are supposed to tear a kid down and rebuild him. All you get with that is a wounded, angry soul.


Quote
On 2004-08-08 07:44:00, ottawa5 wrote:

"Thanks, this is exactly the type of thing I am trying to learn. Thanks to the "anonymous" poster too.



If you don't mind, I'll email in a week or so, I'd like to have my son (he's travelling right now) to be in on the discussions, since he was there too, and has insights that I don't.



But one more question--what do you think can be done about what some posters call the "coercive" aspects of these schools?  



In our own case, my son would never have gone if we hadn't physically taken him there. But what else is a parent supposed to do if an underage kid is relentlessly getting involved with criminal, not to mention, physically dangerous activities?  I just didn't have the heart to let him go out into the world in the hopes that he would "bottom out" before he killed himself, and anyway, we had legal responsibilties to him as a minor.



My question, what alternatives do you see to forcing a kid to attend one of these schools--are there any that occur to you out of your own experience?



Here is the thing: I really want to do this right if I do start a school or even take part in one, so believe me, I appreciate all the input, positive, and negative, too. I intend to, and hope I can, use it all to do good, in one way or another. "

54
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / How About This Theory
« on: August 08, 2004, 03:53:00 AM »
Ottawa, read the anonymous post responding to your query. It lays out everything. Some kids literally die from their choices, but other kids don't really need these placements. Also, it seems that these different CEDU schools vary from each other - maybe a lot.

I hope you'll listen to what some of these ex-CEDU kids are telling you and not just the ones who say what you want to hear. Everyone here has something to say.

Okay, guys. I know you're all mad at this Ottawa person. But she's asking what you would change about CEDU. Can you give her some answers?

Quote
On 2004-08-07 20:43:00, ottawa5 wrote:

"To the last two posters:



How to improve on the current CEDU program, this is my question.  My son went to RMA, he had a good experience, and his life is better for going there, but I hear these stories here at this site, some of them really awful.  



What would you do to change CEDU, that's what I want to do, to keep what is positive, and still to get rid of what has the potential to hurt people?



My son says that he wouldn't change any of it, but maybe his experience was just lucky, with good friends and staff, I want other opinions too, what would you change?



My present idea is it has to do with hiring kind, sensitive people who can be strong too and not letting in kids who are not suited to the program (with certain psychological conditions I'm thinking), but I'd like more opinions.

"

55
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / What is CEDU's contribution to your current situation?
« on: August 02, 2004, 04:08:00 PM »
I am glad you brought this up. There are options and programs that can help. Some kids are on a terrible road to self destruction. Some kids end up dead at home.

I would start with a therapist - marriage and family, social worker, or psychologist - who specializes in adolescence. Forget about your insurance. Find the best.

Do not ask your family doctor for a referral. They do now know. Do not inquire with your local county behavioral health department. The person whom you get on the phone may or may not know, and how can you tell? Plus, they can't give you the inside scoop even if they do know it, because of legal implications.

Call the nearest major university - the one closest to you. State universities are good, although there are many good private ones. However, how will you know if it's a good private school when it comes to psychology?

Also, I would recommend calling the American Psychological Association. Their numbers:
(800) 374-2721 or (202) 336-5500

Tell them you want a referral for a psychologist who specializes in adolescent development. There are several divisions within APA that are applicable. Do your homework. Call the therapists and ask them:

1)What do you consider your area of specialization?
2)What journals do you read regularly?
3)What professional associations do you belong to?
4)Do you have experience with _____________________? (problem)
5)Have you had your own therapy?
6)What do you consider to be your strengths as a therapist?

Do not hesitate to ask these questions. If the psychologist is weird about any of them, thank him for his time and say ?goodby.?

Hope this helps!

Quote
But what about kids who are really out of control? How do we help them?

56
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / GINGER - help, please!
« on: August 02, 2004, 02:02:00 PM »
Yep. I'm not the first. I'm not even the second. And I won't be the last. I just don't want to be hassled. BUT - the most important thing we can do is talk to Detective Wyatt!

Quote
On 2004-08-02 04:55:00, NivekOgre wrote:

"There sure seem to be alot of these deleted posts appearing suddenly.

57
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / GINGER - help, please!
« on: August 02, 2004, 01:26:00 AM »
[ This Message was edited by: former CEDU therapist on 2004-08-01 22:28 ]

58
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / For Ottawa
« on: July 26, 2004, 01:48:00 AM »

59
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / GINGER - help, please!
« on: July 26, 2004, 01:42:00 AM »
Thanks, Max.

Quote
On 2004-07-25 21:40:00, Anonymous wrote:

"The angry and bigoted posts are nothing more than the pathetic rants of pathetic deranged minds (Deranged by CEDU). Feel sorry for them and move on. They are just damaged former cedu kids or current staff trying to divert constructive dialogue and make it unproductive. Don't pay any attention to them and they will go away - Don't reinforce them by responding or reacting to them.

Max "

60
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / GINGER - help, please!
« on: July 25, 2004, 03:44:00 AM »
Well, thank you, Cayohueso, for taking the time and effort to post your thoughtful response. I wasn't feeling attacked by you - I was, however, feeling attacked by Son of Serbia and Sid Vicious, I think. Don't know what a wanker is, and I don't know if Sid was talking to me. It's hard to tell in these posts! I'm half expecting Hell on Wheels to jump in and yell at me. I'm trying to do a good thing here and hate to see some of the  ugly and pointless posts.

You make some good points. I still do wish that the really hateful, homophobic posts could be deleted. I mean, what's the point of them here? I guess you're right - most people know idiocy when they see it. I just hate seeing it![ This Message was edited by: former CEDU therapist on 2004-07-25 00:48 ]

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