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Messages - Rachael

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301
The Troubled Teen Industry / Would anyone mind....
« on: April 28, 2007, 04:40:36 AM »
Yeah, if the intention was to delete anything, I'd really have to disagree. So far on fornits I've been offended, insulted and hurt many times and yet I'm still here. I was even once contacted by a staff member from my time in "the program" maurading as a survivor seriously looking to go out on a date with me. That scared the shit out of me - one of my abusers trying to "get with me" - and I'm sure did more damage than anything WANF has just experienced. More than that, the recent episode with the Who was an example where someone else was obviously being mocked over real explicit "sexual harassment" and rape even. If that wasn't enough for action/deletion, than this small flamewar isn't.

WANF is certainly a very confused, messed up person at the moment - no offense, I was for a very long time myself. And it sucks that she's getting a hard time at the moment, but no special treatment... none of us got it.

I don't like censorship in any form (I'll say cunt if I like to), but I detest selective censorship, even if for a plausibly good reason.



Just my two cents...


Rachael

302
The Troubled Teen Industry / Peninsula Village
« on: April 27, 2007, 03:43:36 PM »
Just thought I'd throw this out there, but cunt is one of my favourite words...

303
The Troubled Teen Industry / Peninsula Village
« on: April 25, 2007, 04:24:49 AM »
Arg... double post. Fornits is acting up again.

304
The Troubled Teen Industry / Peninsula Village
« on: April 25, 2007, 04:21:15 AM »
Quote from: ""we are not free""
The one guy starts telling a story about this guy having sex with a girl in Las Vegas, he was actually moving his pelvis and holding his hands like he, I guess, was holding on to a girls butt from the back, the story went on a little while too it seemed. This guy in Vegas was having sex and the doors in the hotel were a kind of glass that when you touched a button they became misted over but when you touched it again you could see through them, so he keeps touching the door while he is having sex so people can see through it and then can’t.  The final time he does it a security guard was there and he &^%& all over the glass.  I didn’t like this story much or the pelvic thrusts but I just nodded and smiled.  The other guy starts talking about seeing this thing on the internet where this guy tried to have *&^*&* sex with a girl and filmed it, there was &**& everywhere and the camera guy threw up and so did the guy, this story was much longer than the above sentence and very graphic.  I’m sorry to have to repeat this, even with editing but this is a reasonably ordinary form of sexual harassment. He also mention *&^* sex one other times in relation to his girlfriend, in a conversation, that started by talking about the test we had just taken?  This time was unrelated to the above story?  I have not talked to these kids much, and I look really ordinary, like everyone else in class, they were not singling me out.  I am not picking on men, or boys, I know very nice non before mentioned guys.  



Hmm....

First of all, I am a feminist, I am the daughter of a feminist (who is also a professor of women's studies and feminist writing), and I am married to a feminist. Now then:


From what you have described of the situation in the post above, you were not experiencing sexual harassment at that time. The term "harassment" implies repetition of an unwanted act or refusal to desist when requested to do so. It also implies intent.

You described a situation in which you were a passive member of a conversation which wasn't even entirely directed towards you. You described only one instance of the offending comments, and you did not ask them to stop speaking about it - you smiled and nodded. The persons you were engaged in the conversation with had no way of knowing that you were uncomfortable. Albeit, the subject matter was obviously offensive to you, but that in and of itself is not sexual harassment. Inappropriate maybe, harassment - not even close. Two people carrying on a conversation about anal sex (is that what you were implying with your bizarre self-censorship?) with their girlfriends is not in any way harassing you.

Feel free to clarify if there was more to the story than you first described.

 


Rachael

305
The Troubled Teen Industry / Post Program Discussion
« on: April 22, 2007, 02:11:47 PM »
I'm sure you've posted this elsewhere, but what program was your daughter in exactly?

Rachael

306
The Troubled Teen Industry / I met an ex-Synanon member today.
« on: April 21, 2007, 06:34:18 PM »
One of my perpetual obsessions is the shared language of the programs. Language goes a substantial way towards indoctrinating a person; when forced to communicate in a way completely different from what you're used to, it makes it exponentially easier to also change the way you think. I would be most curious about similarities in jargon: "working the program", "relating", "dead, insane or in jail", "justifying", "intellectualizing", "in your head", "hurting", "in my using", "oldcomer/newcomer".... I'm at a point right now, where I've been working tremendously hard not to remember day-to-day stuff, so that's all I can recall at the moment, but please anyone else add what you can remember.

Also, I'd be interested in whether or not they had specific levels/phases, whether they used "host/recovery" homes at any point, how newcomers were treated (what restrictions on communication, etc.), whether they allowed/prevented/encouraged family involvement.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but also I'm curious about what this person thinks is important to tell. Ask him/her what they remember most.

Thanks for the opportunity as well, not often you get to hear from someone there at the beginning.


Rachael

307
The Troubled Teen Industry / Post Program Discussion
« on: April 20, 2007, 11:34:07 PM »
Quote from: ""exhausted""
Quote from: ""Truth Searcher""
Quote
being steeped from birth in electronic media directed and controlled ... So many ignorant people could be dangerous if they got pointed in the wrong direction, and so we've evolved a popular culture that is (a) almost unbelievably infectious and (b) . neuters every person who gets infected by it, by rendering them unwilling to make judgments and incapable of taking stands

Now I hear you.  Thanks.

It is so true that we (as a cultural whole) have increasing difficulty in thinking for ourselves.  Standing by our own convictions ... and being firm in our values.
Quite - if you go against thegrain and stand up for what you believe is right, society thinks you're not normal

If you're a kid and do this, you end up in a program  :roll:



That was exactly the reason why I was institutionalized. The fact that I was a social activist (with Food not Bombs, the revolutionary knitting circle and other non-violent protest groups), civically involved (on the Mayor's Civic advisory council), vegan, and worked for a human rights lawyer were all proof of my "druggie" habits. Even volunteering and being on the debate club were "druggie". Didn't even matter that I'd only very lightly experimented w/ drugs, being socially aware and trying to make change in this world were so anti-social, I must need serious help.

308
The Troubled Teen Industry / Ha, Ha, Ha, this is funny.
« on: April 18, 2007, 05:17:15 AM »
To Ginger,

It's been a few days that I've spent trying to decide whether I can keep posting here or not. I have not yet been the recipient of an attack from the Who, but frankly I don't think I could handle it if my also horrific story was mocked and torn apart as happened to Programmer #A-5. It hurt me a lot just to read Who's response to that. I really think it might be too much to have that happen. So, I've been seriously considering leaving despite how cathartic (love that word) fornits has been for me. And on mulling that over, I don't think I should have to leave. I had to leave my family, friends, school, job, and everything I knew and loved once already because of people like the Who, and I don't want to let that happen again. So, I would like to maybe offer a proposed solution...


The Who is like a plague of sorts (let's say smallpox), spreading all sorts of nastiness and contaminating everything it touches. For some, it makes the body stronger and better able to deal with the next pestilence that comes along. However, for many others, the nasty disease can be too strong and take you out entirely. Perhaps it may be best to quarantine the smallpox, and only those who feel strong enough need venture into dangerous territory.

Enough with the cryptic analogy, can you create a thread to which the Who will be restricted (by IP I'd imagine)? Allow the Who to post, he can copy bits from other threads and go off on rants as much as he so desires, but will be prevented from hurting those of us who are struggling as it is. That way, he still acts as the exemplar of what we're working against, but doesn't destroy fledgling attempts to tell our horrific war stories such as that of Programmer #A-5. That way, people like myself won't have to leave or enable heavy self-censorship to protect against passive-aggressive Who attacks.

Anyway, I do very much appreciate the situation you're in and the difficulty of addressing all the facets to this issue. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be well thought out.


Thanks for everything,

Rachael

309
The Troubled Teen Industry / Ha, Ha, Ha, this is funny.
« on: April 16, 2007, 07:11:51 PM »
Quote from: ""TheWho""
Quote from: ""Guest""
Hey, Who, I see you all the time saying you are "adding balance to the discussion here."  

Out of curiousity, can you link me to the pro-program, one-sided sites like StrugglingTeens (there are literally thousands of them) where you post items that reflect programs in poor light to "add balance"?  I'd like to see those, since you're on a crusade for "balance" and all.  

I'll wait for your response and links.  Thanks.

Devon, glade to hear you are doing well.  I will PM you with that information, thanks for asking.


Hello Mr. Who,

I'd like a copy of that memo too please. Feel free to post it here, although I'll accept a PM if that's all you can offer.


Thank you kindly,

Rachael

310
The Troubled Teen Industry / I need advise
« on: April 16, 2007, 02:27:44 AM »
Quote from: ""TheWho""
Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote from: ""TheWho""
I think you are making a bigger deal out of the bong than you have to.  If the communication is going well why push it and make him follow thru with actually physically throwing the bong away (power struggle). There could be a million reasons why he doesn’t want to throw it away, I cant think of any that would be important.   Kids see things differently than we do, he may not see that you are waiting patiently for him to throw it away.  My advice would be to just toss it, it is home made and if he decides he wants another one some day he can just make another one.

Advice coming from a parent who sent their kid to be forced march and barely fed for a month as punishment.  :rofl:

Oh come on that’s only the tip of the ice berg, lets be honest, no exaggerating here, we need to be credible or no parents will believe us.  Here is a more complete account:

No food.
Sexual abused in everyway.
Repeat beatings.
No water.
No bathroom.
No bedding.
Little items I had were stolen, like my sweaty hat and shoes.
My Bible ripped and wrecked.
What little food I got, stolen from me.
Forced to drink cum, piss, eat shit.
Duct-taped from head to toe for no reason. (my favorite)
No toilet paper.
Had rocks and items thrown at me.
Locked in a hot, wooden box.
Forced to eat paper.
Forced to be naked for a week.
Thrown into the ocean during a typhoon. ( I think he would keep blowing back ,would'nt he?)
Kicked down a hill and had logs thrown on me.
Had a chair slammed into my gut.
Obtained more skin diseases than a POW in Vietnam.
Forced to carry "sandbags" of rocks up and down hills.




Shut the fuck up, you fucking asshole! These things do happen, this is why we're all spending vast lengths of time educating fucks like you and trying to prevent it from happening to more kids like us.

::unhappy::  ::unhappy::  :flame:

311
News Items / AARC Branching Out Pulling Back from the Abyss
« on: April 15, 2007, 02:40:54 PM »
I already mentioned this in another thread, but I'll say it again.

I was forced to stand dripping wet and cold in only a towel in front of an oldcomer and staff member till I signed the forms.

At least I knew at the time that such coercion invalidated anything I signed. And anyway, you can't sign away your right to lay criminal charges for abuse that occurs later anyway.


This article just makes me so angry - it is clearly describing abuse and coercion and yet seems to have no problem with it at all.



Rachael

312
Feed Your Head / Help Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!
« on: April 14, 2007, 07:42:48 AM »
This full-color illustrated book is a fun way for parents to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism. Written in simple text, readers can follow along with Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when liberals start demanding that Tommy and Lou pay half their money in taxes, take down their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with every glass of lemonade, the young brothers experience the downside to living in Liberaland.

"Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!" offers a witty alternative to the usual liberal fare, demonstrating the virtues of capitalism and true diversity of expression in words and pictures that both kids and adults can laugh along with.

With the nation’s libraries and classrooms filled with overtly liberal children’s books advocating everything from gay marriage to marijuana use, kids everywhere are being deluged with left-wing propaganda. "Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed" is the book conservative parents have been seeking. This illustrated book — the first in the "Help! Mom!" series from Kids Ahead — is perfect for parents who seek to share their traditional values with their children, as well as adults who wish to give a humorous gift to a friend.

-----------------------



Oh dear.

313
The Troubled Teen Industry / Can't cope with society thanks to Paradise Cove!
« on: April 14, 2007, 07:08:55 AM »
I'm sorry.



I can't let myself sleep either. I stay up till the waking images and paranoia become worse than the nightmares will be.



Rachael

314
News Items / AARC website
« on: April 14, 2007, 06:15:19 AM »
Some people were legally incarcerated in AARC. Those sent by court order (usually care of dear Cook Stanhope) were there legally. The majority however were not.

I have never had any trouble with the police. I've never even been given a transit ticket. The closest thing would be some library fines I got for books not returned as I was in AARC.

I knew that I had the right not to be imprisoned arbitrarily and to consult with a lawyer, but I was denied those rights. When I stated my rights and asked for a lawyer, I was told "druggies don't have rights" and made fun of.

I was illegally imprisoned and I have the right to contest that. That alone is grounds for a lawsuit, not to mention everything that occured while forcibly detained there.


Rachael

315
The Troubled Teen Industry / What it's like to survive...
« on: April 09, 2007, 03:00:35 PM »
REPOST of something from AARC Survivor forum:

 Lately, I've been talking about it a lot; with my sisters who were there on the sibling side and with my S/O Paul who was not. Thinking about it so much is taking its toll. I've felt panicky most of the time and I've kind of regressed back to this small, meek, terrified little girl that I used to be when I was 15. It's like all the years between just fell away, and I'm just as helpless as I was then.

Last night, I'd been speaking with one of my sisters about AARC. Just little things like the jargon they used, what open meetings were like, how Christmas and Thanksgiving were, songs they played at homecomings -- really, nothing especially painful. But what we were talking about, I've been pushing away for years. Describing all the little details of AARC essentially recreated the environment in my mind, I was back there again.

After I went to bed, I couldn't forget, couldn't push it out of my head. I was back there. It's like I always have two realities - the present: the life I'm living, my partner and daughter, and myself, confident, intelligent, compassionate and strong; but on top of that reality is the past where I am still there and it never stopped happening. For the past year or two, reality number two has been weak and far away. It doesn't bother me most of the time, except for when I'm sleeping. But last night, reality number one lost and I was almost completely back there. I curled up in a little ball and hid under my duvet. I took Paul's ipod and tried to drown out my head with Kid koala. But I couldn't make it go away. I was clutching so hard to stay here and believe that it was over and long ago, but I couldn't. I didn't see my room around me anymore.

I don't know how long I was like that, but Paul came in to go to bed and found me tightly curled up, shaking, crying and generally freaking out. He was talking to me for some time and I remember nothing of it. He managed to get me up and dressed and put our daughter in my arms. I started to come back to here and be able to at least see what was going on around me. I was still seeing images, scenes from the past in front of me as if they were real. We went outside and walked along the river, and I came back. Things I was seeing went back to being passive memories that I could control. But I felt so weak, not scared or anything else. Emotionally, I'm just blank. But it feels like there is nothing left in me.

I'm still empty this morning. No emotion, which is better for the moment.


Rachael

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