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RSC: Rational Self Counseling or Rationalized Straight Crap?

I was going through some files the other day and came across the RBT Self Acceptance Script we were given in the early ?80?s when we started the RSC sessions.  It?s interesting to read after all these years.

The opening line, ?I am a person with human dignity?.  What a novel concept.  It?s a shame that Straight forgot this notion.

Or how about this, ?Many times things happen that I don?t like.  I will accept this by remembering that I can not control everything.?  Well, this wasn?t exactly comforting when I was put on a third phase refresher for things I did not do.  

Who can forget this, ??I can calmly remember that I have a choice.?  Let?s be honest, did we really have choices?

And my personal favorite, ?Sometimes I make mistakes; this doesn?t mean I?m bad or wrong?No one knows everything.?  How many times did egomaniacal staffers who thought they knew it all berate us for mistakes we made?  Oh my God, Straight was cultivating mini Millers!  I have this Austin Powersesque vision of Miller Newton- he?s sitting at his desk, he?s diabolically plotting and planning and he has a demented vision of what therapy should be and he says, ?I will call them mini me??

So, what did I learn from RSC?  How to rationalize some of my irrational behavior.  Well, I could go on, but I won?t.  So, here it is in its entirety:

RBT Self Acceptance Script

I am a person with human dignity.  What I do does not change me.  Sometimes I make mistakes, and sometimes I do things very well, but I?m the same person.

I will continue to make some mistakes throughout my life because I?m not perfect: I am a fallible human being.  However, because I?m a person, I also have the ability to learn.  I can work on mistakes and learn to do what is necessary to change them.  I can strive to ?do? better; I can not ?be? better.  I already am a human being.

Past is in the past.  I cannot change that.  I regret some things I?ve done.  I don?t like some things that have happened but I can?t change the past by staying upset and worried.  I can?t guarantee the future by being worried either.  I can change my feelings right now.  I?m probably going to handle situations better if I?m calmer and more clearheaded.  I am remembering that I am in control of my feelings.  I control myself.  I can?t always control the situation.  Many times things happen that I don?t like.  I will accept this by remembering that I can not control everything.  If I don?t like it, I can do my best to do something about it, if I want to.  If I don?t want to, I can calmly remember that I have a choice.

Other people control their decisions about their behavior.  I am not responsible for what other people think, feel or do.  I want to do my best to help others but their behavior is in their control.  They decide what they do.

I do what I do because I can only act in light of my own experience, my own learning, and my own attitudes.  Sometimes I make mistakes; this doesn?t mean I?m bad or wrong.  Mistakes mean I don?t know everything.  No one knows everything.  I am a human being who has the ability to learn from my mistakes.

What people think or do cannot make me less of a person.  I am me and no one can change me.  I will continue to do things I do and make the mistakes I make until I change.  I want to begin to change right now.  I am accepting myself by remembering I am a fallible human being, just as good, just as worthwhile as other people.

Sometimes people do what I?m not expecting them to do.  Sometimes it seems as if they don?t care.  This is my interpretation of their behavior and I could be mistaken.  However, even if it were true that some people are inconsiderate of me, and don?t really care about how I feel, I still do not have to get so upset about it.

Other people have a right to do what they do, and to think what they think.  They do not have to care about me in order for me to be calm or even happy.  Other people?s thought do not control or define my feelings; other people?s actions do not control or define my feelings.

I am a person with human dignity no matter what other people think of me.  Even if they don?t think of me the way I would like, I can stand it.  I don?t need the approval or caring of others in order to feel good about myself.  I am the most important person in my life because I control my life.

I control my thoughts, feelings and behavior.  I feel good about the things I do well and regret some things I don?t do well.  I accept all those behaviors and myself.

I feel calm about myself; I feel acceptable to myself; I feel good about accepting myself.

I remember these from my days in St Pete.  The air conditioning was turned off and we would start exercising.  The sun would pound on the metal roof and pretty soon it would get very hot and humid.  Sometimes the fans were turned on and all that did was blow hot air around.  A staff would yell, "We're doing 200 jumping jacks...and if anyone gest out of line we're starting over..."  I can't tell you how many times 200 jumping jacks turned into 500 or more because a misbehaver decided to get out of synch with the rest of the group.  One of the worst parts was having to sit in sweaty clotes all day.  I grew up playing sports and never had a problem with jock itch until I came to Straight.

In St Pete I remember someone made mullet stew and it was terrible!  I remember being so hungry I would eat watermelon rinds.  And, I remember as we approached the window to get our food looking for the cup with the most in it.  If you got one with lots of ice you could suck on the ice and  savor it for awhile- that was a good day...

I graduated form Straight in Jan '82 and shortly after that I graduated high school then went off to college.  Got the diploma and have had sales jobs in a variety of industries- formal wear, printing, clothing mfr rep, etc.  Currently, I am a Regional Account Manager for a vendor (a division of a major corporation) that supplies public libraries with books and audiovisual materials.  I travel all over the SE and love my job.

Bill- You're thinking of Rick Pumphrey.  I went to high school with him and I remember that mullet the day he walked in!  I ran into him a few years ago while mtn biking at Tsali in NC.  He had been in CA for several years working in the computer industry and I think he moved back.  Regarding the Crow's, my mom and Ann Crow are friends, so e-mail me at [email protected] if you want to get in touch with them.

Reading through the various posts has brought to mind a lot of people from my days in St Pete that I haven't thought about in many, many years.  So, whatever happened to...

Clark Whickman
Pierce & Preston Kuhn
Keith Tobler
George Sullivan
Joel Fillion
Dave & Laurie Burke
Aldo & Bridgette Bollinger
Greg Armenta
Dave Lawrence
Jeff Miller
Roger Reed
Grant & Richard Gerber
John & Scott Kantner
Loren Markel
Bob Selinas
Pat Cuniff
Ray Conejo
Ralph Hernandez
Alan Harshman
Greg Junkenz
Bob Cody
Chuck Haag
Shaun & Lowen Dibble
Dave Phirman
Robert Schlecht
Mike & Mark Mead
Pete Mauer
Bill Kellerman
Andy MacDonald

Mark Newton (Staff)
Dave Crock (Staff)
Dave McAdams (Staff)
Doug Hemminger (Staff)
Carrie Hoepner (Staff)
Chris Cassler (Staff)
Kathleen Wynne (Staff)
Jim Sailor (Staff)
Charles Pendergrass (Staff)


[ This Message was edited by: gduncan on 2003-06-17 11:41 ]

June 10, 1980 is burned in my memory- that's the day I walked into the Morgan Yacht building.  My parents said we were going to FL for a vacation and were going to the "realtor's office" to pick up the key for the condo.  After almost 23 years I still have nighthmares (not as often) about being stuck on first phase or standing helplessly in a sea of waving hands as someone is chosen to confront me.  

I confronted those demons '94.  I had a job that required me to go to FL and I went to the old building on Frontage Road which was vacant.  It was bought by a church for additional space and I was able to talk to someone in the small executive building and told them I was interested in walking through the building and why.  She was familiar with the program because she said a lot of people had stopped by wanting to do the same.

As I walked through I remembered many mornings sitting in the intake rooms crowded with other newcomers waiting to be seated.  I walked into the group area and could hear the songs we would sing.  I rememebered the exercise sessions- lying in a pool of sweat, dehydrated and wanting a drink.  If you were lucky you got a 3 second drink of water from the fountain.  So many images flashed through my mind- I could go on.  I spent about an hour walking around and I left at peace.  Doing that gave some closure.

[ This Message was edited by: gduncan on 2003-06-09 03:45 ]