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Messages - Psianide

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31
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Glen Sutton Licking Students
« on: October 23, 2007, 11:15:00 PM »
Quote from: ""hanzomon4""
From an AP article on abuse in public schools
Quote
Like Lindsey, the perpetrators that the AP found are everyday educators — teachers, school psychologists, principals and superintendents among them. They're often popular and recognized for excellence and, in nearly nine out of 10 cases, they're male. While some abused students in school, others were cited for sexual misconduct after hours that didn't necessarily involve a kid from their classes, such as viewing or distributing child pornography.

I'm just saying don't dismiss it cause the dude wasn't an asshole......


Dismissal no. Skepticism yes.

32
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Glen Sutton Licking Students
« on: October 20, 2007, 12:42:45 AM »
Er? I don't remember Glenn licking anyone while I was there. Care to tell the tail a bit more thouroughly?

I remember Glenn being a bit off the wall. I remember being on a hike with him at one point, and he picked a piece of moose crap off the ground, showed us how to use it to determine what the animal had been eating, and then popped a second one in his mouth.

Incidentally I have to agree with Guest three. Glenn and his wife Lisa are two of maybe five staff from NWA that I would greet with unreserved warmth to this day.

33
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Re: Length of time without communication
« on: October 10, 2007, 11:21:39 PM »
Quote from: ""try another castle""
Quote from: ""AuntieEm""
How long were people kept from communicating with family other than parents? How long without home visits?

AuntieEm

The way it worked when I was at RMA, you couldn't communicate with other family members until you went through the brother's keeper propheet. But my memory may be wrong about that.

The brothers keeper is still one of the propheets they have there, but I don't know when it is, because their curriculum is accelerated to about 17 months, isn't it? We had ours at around our third month in the quest family, so that would be nine months into the program.

In addition, this doesn't mean that the kid could just call any family member they wanted to. That family member had to be approved by staff first.


Thats how it was at NWA when I went.

34
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / New to Forum- Looking to hear from old staff and students.
« on: October 10, 2007, 09:40:20 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
To Sabro---no question that a lot of people hate CEDU--but what about all the other people who attended and describe a completely different experience---who don't even post here or relate to the stories here



Do you believe they are all sheep and brainwashed-- cuz if that's the case some of them are doing an awfully good job of acting like they're pretty normal people



Isn't it just possible that these programs worked well for some people and not for others---I'm not saying I know the answer but just that it's worth asking



Since you had a lot of hands-on time in one of the CEDU school: what do you think---why do many grads even have fond memories of their time there
Quote from: ""Guest""
Like I said anyone who thought they had a good experience wouldn't post here.


I hear this arguement a lot to be honest, always from anonymous trolls on sites like this.

I keep looking, none of the people I was in with (who Ive communicated with since) fit this discription, and they don't seem to show up on discussion boards either. Its ok though, thier conspicuous absence doesn't actually prove that they don't exist.

Speaking in terms of probability though, if the picture I get from my interactions with other survivors is anywhere near representative of the whole picture there must be one of these "happily ever afters" for every hundred of the rest of us, and to follow your own logic you aren't even one of them.

Can you really make an arguement to support an efficacy that low?

35
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / What was coming home like for you?
« on: October 09, 2007, 07:39:48 PM »
Quote from: ""AuntieEm""
Psi
Does this suggest your parents had changed their views on NWA? I have access to a similar-sounding public school here and I was thinking she should not go back to her home.  Not to her Koolaid-drinking parents, nor to her former school where I fear she would be stigmatized. I feel bad that I would be asking her to start over again.  


Yes and No. I went to NWA toward the end of the 90s (98-00) and things were beginning to happen in the CEDU empire that were forshadowing the sorts of problems that fully blossomed in the past few years.  My parents got the sense that it wasn't being well managed by the Brown schools and that was one reason they decided I should leave the place early. They also felt I needed to have a normal (or more normal) senior year if I was going to make it at college.

On the other hand they maintained that CEDU had been the right course of action, saved my life (etc. etc.) for a long time afterward. I got the first confirmation that they have negative feelings toward the place this year (I think the facts surrounding the shutdown have finally sunk in).  

I don't know to what extent the system is the same in terms of parental interaction as it was when I was there, but I actually went to a parents' workshop when I was there to help them manipulate, and they had it down to a science.  I helped with the Voyageur parents, and the gig was to prep them for everything the kids would tell thier parents, discredit all of it with claims that the kids were being "manipulative" or "playing games", and then wire it back into the CEDU doctrine and all the supposed emotional reasons for these behaviors.  Then when the Voyageur parents saw thier kids (for the first time since sending them away) they would hear all the things they prepared to hear by the workshop (most of them legitimate grievances against the place) and it would play as conformation of CEDU's power to read thier kids.

36
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Re: What was coming home like for you?
« on: October 09, 2007, 01:22:48 AM »
Quote from: ""AuntieEm""
Would any of you be kind enough to tell me more about what you experienced in the first days, weeks, months you were home?

Did you go back to your old school? Did your friends know where you'd been and what you'd gone through? What did they say?

Were there things that friends or family could have done or said to help make it easier? Were there things they did or said that made it harder to come home?

AuntieEm


I went to a new school but kept some of my old friends. I could not easily explain to my friends what had happened to me over the past couple of years, though my attempts illicited some pretty shocked/strange reactions.  For the most part they had no idea how to interperit what I was telling them. I on the other hand had no idea how to outline the generalities, so all my stories were about being a totonka and living in a tipi (at Ascent), or being made to scream about my first grade teacher and beat a pillow on the ground while counsilors egged me on (one of the profeets).

My friends and family were all very supportive, and my new school was a haven for friendly kids who didn't fit in at public schools. In many ways my transition from NWA could be considered optimal.

It was however an extreme culture shock.  I had to totally regain my sense of what is socially acceptable, and normal in the outside world.  I remember my anxiety about leaving the place began before I was even out of Idaho.  I was told a lot of horrible things about what would happen to my life if I left "before I was ready" and couldn't help but take some of them to heart. Furthermore I would hear songs used in emotional release portions of profeets and my head would fill in the screams. I had a couple random freakouts from hearing "what the world needs now" or "he ain't heavy he's my brother" (if you want specific insight into what I am talking about with propheets go here: http://groups.myspace.com/CEDUdoctrine  I don't know if the format of the program is the same now as it was when I was there however) .  

The longer term has been harder for me than the short term was.  It has been difficult for me to forgive my parents for what I see as an increasingly sinister chapter in my past (even though I understand why they kept me there).  I have more difficulty with my emotions and relationships due to the confusion of trying to overcome deeply ingrained ideas that I no longer trust, not knowing what ideas I can trust that I picked up there, and difficulty setting appropriate boundaries with people - particularly those I am close to.  It is still the most disturbing and deeply confusing thing that has ever happened to me.

Hope that helps.
-Psi

37
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / relationships with the faculty
« on: September 23, 2007, 08:46:30 PM »
Quote from: ""try another castle""
I think the thing that pissed me off the most about this kind of shit was the hypocrisy. We were made to feel totally ashamed of our own sexual desires. We were sluts, perverts, predators, etc. But it was perfectly ok for the staff to hug the girls just a little too long after raps. Stambusky was definitely one of the more obnoxious ones, so was Steve Rookey. And of course, Caroline and her "special girls". (harem)


Your saunas were gender segregated psi? I don't remember ours being that way. I think we did have girls-only and boys-only sauna events but most of the time the saunas were co-ed.


Our sauna started out coed, but after two to three coed saunas the councilors decided that they were inappropriate. There had been coeds giving each other massages, and I beleive that this was the cited reason. Strict separation was then imposed.

38
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Re: relationships with the faculty
« on: September 21, 2007, 12:35:59 AM »
Quote from: ""sugarmag""
I dont know about yall but my relationships with the male faculty were highly inappropriate. I did'nt really come to understand this until recently. I will name names.... Steve laird. Patrick Stambusky. Guy Bannono. ( top three) carl tried...  Rudy Bentz. ( who later on life apologized to me crying!!! about anything he may have ever done.) There are more but I cant remember there names.. I was there from 89-91. Sitting on there laps... not ok. smooshing between there legs. not ok. wrestling on the floor. not ok. trading massages. not ok. trading stories. Flirting!!!Not one single female faculty took me under there wing it was all male faculty. I did not have a relationship with any female faculty. I had to talk about all my sexual stuff with the male staff. Sick fucks got off on it. How is that ok. I got to cry imbetween there legs and be held. I got to snuggle on there chest. I began to look for attention from them and of course I got it. I encourage all of you to speak out about this because it is not right for a grown man to do those things with a child. I was there from 14- 17.


We had a sauna at NWA when I was there, and there were male staff members and students for that matter (the sauna was gender segregated) with whom I traded messages.  I didn't and still don't find it that  particularly uncomfortable, however I never got the sense that any of them were enjoying it on a sexual level.  All of those in this particular categorization where ones I trusted.

What you are describing does sound problematic however. Furthermore there WAS a great deal of weird sexual energy percolating around that place and manifesting in bizzare CEDU sanctioned smooshing, tickling, and cuddling displays. During my time a lot of this seemed to be directed at a lot of the female students by some of the male staff.

39
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Did you break?
« on: September 21, 2007, 12:04:19 AM »
Quote from: ""try another castle""
Quote from: ""Psianide""
Quote from: ""dishdutyfugitive""
dude that mr. rogers photo is too pedophilia please change it.


LMAO, sorry dude, I have a history of "playing attention games". I hope this helps  :rofl:  :rofl:


Wow, I never thought I would see Ansuz in fornits. Or any rune, for that matter.

Are you prone to divine communication psi?  :)


I like to think so at least ;). Glad to see there are others here who appriciate the runes. I wasn't really expecting anyone to recognize it.

40
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Did you break?
« on: September 20, 2007, 11:58:39 PM »
Quote from: ""dishdutyfugitive""
Thanks for getting rid of mr. rogers.

Anyone know How to upload an image from the computer to use as an avatar?

Who/What is ansuz?


Ansuz is the rune that I am currently using as my avatar. Runes are an ancient alphabet used by the Germanic peoples, and each has a phoenetic value and magickal signifigance. Ansuz has the phoenetic value of "A" and is related to communication and inspiration, it is also closely associated with the god Odin (aka Wotan or Odhinn).

41
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Math @ CEDU
« on: September 20, 2007, 08:29:01 AM »
When I went there were real classes in math and other subjects (once you finished in the wood coral of course). There was a shortage of teachers though, and I ended up teaching myself half of my algebra class.

42
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Did you break?
« on: September 19, 2007, 11:36:25 PM »
Quote from: ""dishdutyfugitive""
dude that mr. rogers photo is too pedophilia please change it.



LMAO, sorry dude, I have a history of "playing attention games". I hope this helps  :rofl:  :rofl:

43
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Did you break?
« on: September 19, 2007, 12:25:30 AM »
Quote from: ""dishdutyfugitive""
I know it's a grey area but if you had to pick a year that things truly changed. Would it be  1992?  I know the brown school takeover had much to do with it.


I think the NWA riot contributed decisively as well. That happened in 1997 I believe.

44
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Fornits Wiki could use your help
« on: September 19, 2007, 12:15:54 AM »
Quote from: ""dishdutyfugitive""
Mr. rogers?


yeah, my charles manson avatar broke, so I appropriated this instead. won't you be my neighbor?

45
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Its all a matter of persepective I guess.
« on: September 19, 2007, 12:14:08 AM »
I never truly resisted. Part of this I suppose was a product of arriving at NWA via ascent, where I realized early on that no amount of will would change my situation, and that I desperately wanted to do anything to change the most miserable situation of my life. I also wanted to beleive that the CEDU philosophy could help me, because I knew my life needed changing.  

On the other hand a lot of my motivation in compliance was always to keep people off of my back and out of my face. I never fully accepted what was sold by CEDU, because it never seemed grounded in anything concrete or verifiable. I read and used my brain, finding ways to interject outside perspectives into the cult bubble, including reading books that were illicit and had been snuck into the school. I resented CEDU for its maddening derision of all things intellectual. Eventually I entered into a pagan religious circle, worshiping nature and authoring charms to curse the school and some of its members, and to protect runaways. All this while I was a trusted and well thought of upper school student.

So yes, I broke immediately. I kissed so much ass my face was brown,  I narced people out for trivialities, and I behaved in ways Ill never be able to forget. But resistance for me was the commision of thought crime. The king of all agreements was the one that compelled you to accept everything in the doctrine completely and without question, and that was a rabbit hole I could never completely dive into. Inside I was always seething with hatred for the place that had enthralled every aspect of my life, and that never changed.

On the subject of whether the schools got less coercive, this seems to be the conventional wisdom.  I also think it was variable between schools. In the middle of my time at NWA we had some RMA staff brought in (sheila claremont and tony alvarez) and the level of confrontation they brought with them, led to a literal uprising on campus. There was a lot of disorder at NWA and a lot of disregard for certain less serious agreements,  so a lot of what I related isn't that impressive by the standard of shit that went down during my time there. On the other hand, the place was still very totalitarian, and I could have been in deep shit for all that stuff regardless.

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