Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Thank you for your kind note! I do appreciate it! Yeah, I'm kinda proud the fired my ass! Well, I can't say CEDU fired me because I was not their employee - but they kicked me out! I wasn't even allowed to say "goodby" to my kids! No kidding - when I got there, someone met me in the parking lot and told me to leave. I was allowed to get my stuff but I couldn't talk to any kids. So parents started calling me and asking what the hell was going on. They were pissed that I disappeared. It was a stupid move on CEDU's part, because the parents knew this was unethical.

Then I came here and I saw Ottawa taunting people in her smug, superior, intellectual way. It was infuriating. She had such a way of really taunting people and refusing to answer pointed questions. BUT she was most willing to make accusations and veiled threats. It was almost like a CEDU team leader was here posting. Just bizarre...

I think I would like your mom! And that bit about fruit is so absurd. Just ignorance. Typical CEDU.

Again, thanks. I appreciate your kindness.

On 2005-07-29 09:09:00, If u want to know..then ask wrote:

"So CEDU just up and fired you for basically doing what you were credited to do?  And they got mad over the cocoa thing?  I actually can see someone reaming someone out in a rap over serving children at these schools cocoa.  I remember when I was only at CEDU a month, and my mom tried to get into the workshop for parents so that she could visit me.  They REFUSED to let her join (claiming I had not been there long enough.  For a family of three, 1 week is long enough) until she got a hold of Rob Spears (who back in this time, was actually somebody in CEDU).  Because and ONLY because Rob Spears knew that my mom mortgaged her house twice by this time (remember I was there a MONTH!), he pulled some strings and let her join the workshop.  Funny thing is, that on your second visit you were allowed to have a picnic; they told her that I didn't have my "sugar" priviledge and even the fruit that she brought had sugar in it!  They were just so pissed off that a student was going there that they couldn't control (I was on bans my 2nd day and refused to follow them.  C'mon, on the SECOND day?), and now here is her parent that they can't control.  It was amazing for me to watch these people treat a struggling single mother of two this way.  A lot of the staff acted like Bonner Ferry Divas (if there could ever be such a thing in a town were people go to escape the government crimes they have committed).



Ps. We had the damn picnic anyway. Right in front of Quixote lodge.  Don't let The Man get you down!

:lol:



I am so sorry that they fired you that way!  But, at least you are better for it.  Understandable, you have bad memories of that place, but at least you didn't fall for the type of counseling that THEY felt was necessary.  I know, our group sessions usually turned into watching a movie or getting out of raps.  Not due to the therapist, mostly because of CEDU! "

I am not Linda, Mary, or Mark. I am certainly not pro-synanon or pro-CEDU. I do not want to ID myself, because although a company may be closing - or reorganizing - they still can sue. I am not willing to risk that.

I was able to hook up with a couple of my former clients here in the boards and I was delighted to learn that they are doing just fine.

I was asked to leave CEDU because I was not buying into the brainwashing/synanon/shame 'em and blame 'em tactics. This was okay with me - I was actively looking for other work. No one here has ever guessed my identity. I was there for a pretty short period of time - but it sure made an impression on me. I've never seen anything like it. And a lot of what they did was the opposite of what I learned in school is actually helpful.

If you think you know me, you can always send me a private message. I was there a number of years ago.[ This Message was edited by: former CEDU therapist on 2005-07-28 23:08 ]

Anonymous, people who post here have reason to. I don't think anyone here is proposing that any of us are typical. We could not possibly say that.

We are, however, people who have been on the inside of CEDU. I was a therapist - not an employee of CEDU, but an outsider who rented office space there on ground and saw CEDU kids. I was horrified at what I saw - how they were treating the kids.

The worst of it is that they paraded parents around me saying that they worked "closely" with me. This was a sham - team leaders specifically told their floor staff to ignore my instructions. I know this because some of the floor staff told me - and because I could SEE that they were not following my direction!

I saw kids "diagnosed" by ignorant team leaders, and I saw team leaders earn fake bachelor's degrees from a non-accredited, distance college, California Coast College.

I left as soon as I could - and now, years later, I came into these boards for some reassurance that "my" kids were okay. I was hoping to find some of them - and I did find a couple.

When Ottawa came, she stated that she was trying to learn about these schools and how CEDU helped kids, stating that she was a psychology graduate student and planned to open her own place. She stated that her son had successfully been helped at RMA. Soon, unhappy people here began attacking her. There are many wounded persons on these boards.

She responded with an intellectual swagger and flatly refused - by ignoring - to answer many pointed questions presented to her. Worse, her adolescent daughter joined. I feel this is on Ottawa - she should never have gotted her daughter involved. People attacked the daughter, but she was a kid - said she was a "teen" and I felt that was inappropriate.

Ottawa showed some signs of paranoia - trying to figure out who was whom by analyzing writing styles. She accused some members of being in some kind of relationship with others that included an agreement to post in some particular way. This happened to me - it was untrue. She made veiled threats that caused me to remove many of my posts. Shame. However, we live in a litigious age, and she said that she knew attorneys and people at CEDU and had printed out all our posts, claiming she would be showing them to those persons.

As for people here who have been wounded, she stomped around on them with a kind of superior intellectualism that was subtle. It left some people confused - they did not recognize the subtle and insidious type of damage she was doing. Often, people who are psychologically wounded from a place like CEDU, they learn to question their own feelings and intuition. Ottawa activated these feelings of self-doubt in others. Her style was so much like some of the CEDU tactics I saw.

I actually heard at CEDU that the goal was to "tear down" a kid psychologically and then "rebuild" him. This analogy is absurd - and dangerous. We're not talking about houses here! To badger, humiliate, and shame a kid who has been having problems is inexcusable and harmful. Many of these former CEDU residents have depression and anxiety related to their experience - as well as intrusive thoughts and unpleasant dreams. But the most insidious problem is self-doubt, and this is where Ottawa did her worst. She played into it, compounding the psychological trauma while she was at it. It was subtle, and she sounded oh-so-reasonable. That's what's insidious about it. What she was actually doing was inflicting more psychological damage in these persons. This was all couched in her reasonable tone - very deceptive! She was compounding the pain here.

One thing she did was crow about working on her dissertation - and said that her advisor founs it perfectly normal - what she was posting here. I suggested that she take ALL of her posts - that she print them ALL out and present them to the advisor. She ignored this request. I asked more than once and was flatly ignored by her. She claimed that she hardly ever spent time in these discussion groups - that was truly bizarre. She spent HOURS in them!

My reason for asking that she show all of her posts to her advisor is that SHE brought him up. She said that he found her posts perfectly reasonable. I can tell you that the only way he would is if he is mentally ill - or has an inappropriate relationship with her. I am a dissertation advisor - I'm a faculty member at a major state school. If a student brought in to me the thousands of words she wrote about her views here, I would send that student for a psych eval. There clearly was something wrong with this woman - and she hurt people in these boards.

This is why so many hate her. She invited it, she was psychologically abusive to these people, and she taunted them.

I did post that she read like someone with a personality disorder. She jumped on that with claws and teeth, claiming that I had "diagnosed" her and crowing about ethics. However, I did not ever diagnose her. I stated that her posts read like those of someone with a personality disorder. I stand by that. For the interested, they read like someone with narcissistic personality disorder, and perhaps a dash of borderline. That's how they read. Others picked up on this and agreed.

If you want to understand why so many despise her, read all the posts that she was involved in. What I mean by this is that you want to read the ENTIRE board that she is posting in - not just her notes. You would have to really want to do this! It will take a LOT of time! But read the entire thread and see how she is responding to people and how they are responding to her. She clearly taunted them in her subtle, intellectual way. I only can hope that she was lying about being a graduate psychology student and that she will never be released into the world of helping people. She's too destructive and too off-balance. Worse, she appears incapable of understanding others' reactions to her - she completely lacks emotional intelligence.

I hope this helps clarify the Ottawa issue. I'm just glad she's gone.

Okay - but I'm not Jack.

On 2005-02-04 13:41:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I was talking to Ginger Jack

I really appreaciate your posts

Thank you"

Postman, are you talking to me or to Ginger?

On 2005-02-02 13:28:00, Anonymous wrote:

"You are absoutelly Right Ginger? It was LaTresa at boulder creek academy who said that "the therapist don't understand what we do"



Yes, We understand it is abusive, and, when we speak up about it or try to make things better we are removed and rumors of our incompetence are then circulated in the community to ensure that we are ruined.



I am moving to another state for exactly that reason.



Can we talk so I can post again?



Postman"

Aunt, there is a mountain of research showing that short-term boot camps are harmful. I do not know if Ascent is a boot camp setting such as the ones in the research.

As for the long term school, frankly, sometimes there is a benefit to removing the kid from the home. Some parents are horrible and cause more harm than one of these schools.

If he is engaging in dangerous behaviors in his neighborhood or getting into drugs that could imminently kill him (club drugs or huffing) you have to take emergency steps, such as removing him to a place where he cannot do these things. Kids who are involved in violent gangs need to be removed from their neighborhoods.

That said, in my short time there, I would say that perhaps 1% of the kids I knew really needed to be there. The rest could be helped at home if the parents would actually do what they need to do. And there?s the rub ? many parents resist specific instruction on how to parent teens and they get into trouble. They bring the kid to someone like me to be fixed ? and the parent needs to change what he?s doing. It?s a system. In my private practice, I tell parents to read Dr. Phil?s book and watch his show. If they do exactly as I instruct and read/watch, they enjoy vast improvement in the situation. However, they are much more comfortable blaming the kid. I understand ? they?re doing the best they can figure out to do. However, if they do everything I say, they don?t have to send the kid away! Another great book is How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.

It?s easier and more comfortable to send your child away to a place where ?professionals? will help him. However, I?ve seen too many kids suffer depression, anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder after a long stay in this kind of school.

Good luck to you. Everyone needs an aunt just like you!

On 2005-01-05 13:28:00, concerned aunt wrote:

"Hi to all that will take the time to read this and give my any feedback.  I just came across this website after hearing that my nephew was placed in the Ascent wilderness program this week and is then to go on to one of the boarding schools.  I would really like to hear about past graduates perceptions of the school as well as from staff members.  I have read some other forums and really have some concerns.  I love my nephew dearly and I know that he needs therapy after some recent events in his life and would love to see him finish his education.  Of course CEDU's website gives a nice lovely perception but I want to hear the real truths.  So I hope that some of you will take the time to respond.



Thank you."

You don't need to do it that way. You do have rights to your records - or a summary of them. Here's what you do:

1) Call CEDU and request your a) academic and b) treatment records

2) If you get any grief about this, ask for the person's name and make sure s/he spells it for you. You want them to know you're writing it down.

3) Ask, "So, Betty, are you telling me that I have no rights to my records?"

4) If the person says, "yes" ask under what law are you not privy to your records.

5) If you continue to not get cooperation, ask to speak with that person's supervisor.

You won't have to go this far. Once you ask for the spelling of the person's name, you usually get a good response. If you get to the point of asking what law prohibits you from your records, you either have have an ignorant jackass, or cause for legal action.

You do have rights to records - not necessarily photocopies of everything, but certainly a summary. It depends on the state.