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Messages - AuntieEm2

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286
The Troubled Teen Industry / What helped you most to recover after program?
« on: December 20, 2007, 02:09:00 PM »
Guest wrote:
Quote
i should [add] that i am a teen, who is completely isolated from everyone and everything. I am completely alienated.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I think you have come to the right place.

This forum has helped me connect to supportive people who understand what abusive settings these programs are. I am not a survivor, but have a family member in one of the schools, a niece who has been kept completely isolated for 2 years (only her parents have had contact). The experience has made me feel alienated from family members--not just her parents, but also those family members who are unwilling to do anything to get this girl out of there because it means, well, you know, confrontation and unpleasantness with the parents.

Fornits has helped me get questions answered--even when the answers are scary--and people have nearly all been very kind and sympathetic. Hope you find the same.

Auntie Em

287
The Troubled Teen Industry / What helped you most to recover after program?
« on: December 19, 2007, 05:48:51 PM »
Dang. Does kinda seem like the moms and stepmoms, doesn't it?

Auntie Em

288
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Caroline the Wolf
« on: December 19, 2007, 05:45:09 PM »
Thanks for your kind words, Stina.
Quote
Yeah, i've been thinking that her parents don't sound like the most stable people (no offense) but it sucks that they're just blindly trusting the school. That's the thing that always got me, that parents just believe what comes out of the staff's mouth (people they do not know and have no logical reason to trust), not their own kid, who, though they may have been misbehaving prior to being there, is their KID, and who they've known for their entire lives.

No offense taken, I think they are unstable, too. Reality is liquid with them, and yes, I mean alcoholically liquid. Wish I could tell you the whole story, but I want to keep this anonymous. Suffice it to say that the young lady has good reasons for being pissed--pissed at her parents, pissed at the world.

The articles at the NATSAP site that are aimed at parents are quite illuminating regarding why the parents listen to the programs and not their child. In the pro-program info for parents there is repeated reinforcement of the the need to be "right and strong," and (of course) to be firm (=be a good parent) by ignoring the "lies and manipulations" of your child.

I read here somewhere an account by a former staff member. That person said that the staff prepared the parents to see their children for the first time after being enrolled, usually after several months. The staff would meet with the parents first, and walk them straight down a list of complaints and accusations they might hear from their child, and how all were lies and manipulations, and not to believe the child. Now my understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) is that a significant percentage of parents pull their children from the program at this point. Would that be the parents who still have trust in their own child? And you can see how the programs would work hard to protect their cash flow at this juncture.

I think also that my niece's parents cast themselves as martyrs in all this.  
"Poor us, look at how much we are spending--the sacrifice!"
"Poor us, everybody is against us, just as the program warned us they would be--oh, the ordeal of being righteous!"
"Poor us, look at what a perfect life we could have had if our daughter hadn't been so emotionally defective--she made our lives hell!"
"Poor us, her angry outbursts were so embarassing--we had to send her away...for her sake!"

I know I've said this before, but there are plenty of emotional problems to go around in that family. They are scapegoating my niece, and it is easier to cast her as The Problem than to deal with a complex set of admittedly difficult family issues.

Auntie Em

289
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Caroline the Wolf
« on: December 19, 2007, 11:24:38 AM »
I saw a couple postings after the October hearings from pro-program sources urging programs to organize parents ("your greatest asset") to write letters and tell their story. From there, Stina, I speculated.

Now I have to confess that I've looked for those dang postings and can't find them, grrrrr. I thought it was Lon "Woodenhead" but maybe it was the guy who offers the BBS software and service to programs, and I thought I'd also seen it on NATSAP, but I can't find it.

Sorry, I should get my research in line before shooting off my mouth, but I think it is reasonable to say that pro-program forces will want to put another spin on the GAO's story, and parents make good spokespersons.

Here's something from Struggling Spleens (spleen, as in archaic usage meaning "mingled ill will and bad temper"), framing this as an issue of "who should choose," government intrusion, and parental rights to control children:
http://http://www.strugglingteens.com/artman/publish/WhoShouldChoosePR_071209.shtml

(And a bonus article, not related, that will just make your skin crawl:)
http://http://www.strugglingteens.com/artman/publish/ClearingUpPerceptionsES_071212.shtml

If I can track down those source links, I will post them.

No, it had nothing to do with contact with my niece's parents. The only contact we have with them is the occasional "letter bomb" in which they carry on about what horrible people we are for "not caring about her emotional growth" and not showing any trust or respect for them, and not facing up to what a defective person my niece is.

Sometimes it's hard for us to know if maybe she's really better off anyplace but with her parents...but why o why a cult-based program?

Auntie Em

290
The Troubled Teen Industry / level of education attained by program parents and...
« on: December 19, 2007, 10:18:27 AM »
Guest wrote:
Quote
do you think if parents are in the "arts" they are less likely to put their kids away?

Not sure where these questions are coming from. People here have described all sorts of professions, ages, religions, and family circumstances. I gather that program parents represent a cross-section of society. But perhaps you are trying to ask what do they have in common? What is the difference between the parents who do send their "troubled teen" (god, I hate that term) to a program, and those who do not? Is that what you are trying to learn?

Auntie Em

291
The Troubled Teen Industry / level of education attained by program parents and...
« on: December 18, 2007, 04:37:04 PM »
Antigen wrote:
Quote
I've kept pretty quiet about this till now, hoping I'd be able to have some contact w/ my niece through the family while she runs the gauntlet. I just spoke w/ my sister in law the other day. and remembered what a foolish idea that really is when she started telling me that my niece is a whole lot better, but not quite ready yet after 18 months. Then she said that she'd just go right back to what she was doing if she pulled her out too soon--"Your kid will DIE...".
Really sorry to hear this. It must break your heart.

Yes, I think any kind of family trauma or conflict can be a catalyst to a parent's decision to send his or her child to a program. Look at the self-assessment forms they use! This one from Aspen Achievement Academy:
 
http://www.parentcheckin.com/assessment/assessment.asp?progid={3A6498E6-146C-4D7A-BF60-4B036B164C9F}

(Sorry, don't know why the URL function is not working for me just now.)

If you browse the AAA site, no matter what problem you say your child has, it points you to the same assessment form. And, oh Lucky Winner, what might our very first question be?
Quote
Has your child had recurring problems due to...Any traumatic events or changes in his /her life? (i.e. abuse, divorce, death,etc.)
So I think you are right on the money when you point to divorce, and I would suggest any trauma or conflict may be viewed by the programs as a sales opportunity.

Very next question?
Quote
Has your child had recurring problems due to...Inability to manage anger?

How can a kid win? I mean really, how? Get abused, have your parents divorce, have one of your parents die, but don't get angry?

It's healthy and normal for a child to be angry about traumas and conflicts like that. Adults certainly show extreme emotions under those circumstances.

Auntie Em

292
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / CEDU Spouses, Relatives, Sibligns - we have a voice
« on: December 18, 2007, 09:39:50 AM »
Antigen wrote:
Quote
If you don't mind, just for the sake of folks looking for us through the search engines, would you please expand the acronym 'CEDU' I can't recall offhand what the letters stand for.

I, too, have understood that CEDU was an acronym for Charles E. Dederich University. See also Synanon http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synanon.

I will post more here when time permits. Thank you for starting this thread.

Auntie Em

293
The Troubled Teen Industry / "Finishing schools" for 18-24 year olds
« on: December 17, 2007, 01:23:59 PM »
It's really an inescapable conclusion, isn't it? I have worked in a number of different industries and have never seen this level of inbreeding. In addition to performing their own oversight and accreditation (the Montana law that put the industry in charge of policing itself comes to mind), there is continual pat-on-the-back reinforcement that it's okay to use a "therapy" model that is not in accordance with in any respected standard of care that is practiced or taught at major universities or mental health institutions.

Very often I have to remind people (family) that my niece (who supposedly has all these newly-discovered mental illnesses) is not at a mental health facility. If she actually is as bad as her parents say, then why isn't she in a mental health facility getting professional care?

I say, "If she were in a mental hospital, there would be visiting hours. If she were in a juvenile detention facility, there would be visiting hours. Why has she been kept completely isolated for two years?"

Grrrrr, I hope her parents choke on their Christmas dinner.

Auntie Em

294
The Troubled Teen Industry / "Finishing schools" for 18-24 year olds
« on: December 17, 2007, 12:59:07 PM »
The foxes accrediting the other foxes to watch the henhouse. Thanks for the info, Ursu.

Auntie Em

295
The Troubled Teen Industry / US Attorney looking for WWASP info
« on: December 14, 2007, 03:13:48 PM »
Che Gookin wrote:
Quote
The first civil rights act was not passed due to violations of civil rights in individial states. The first civil rights act was passed because civil rights were of African Americans were being violated while they were travelling from state to state. These violations of civil rights impeded their rights to the free travel and commerce in the United States etc..

I have been referred to an organization in DC that deals with trafficking in human persons, especially women. This followed an inquiry I made about students over 18 kept in programs. I'll let you know if anything fruitful comes out of that.  

The other issue I have wondered about is informed consent. Some students over 18 give their consent to remain in the program. But does it comply with a legal concept known as "informed consent"? Has the person been given complete and candid information about the (so-called) risks and benefits of participation? Has their particiaption been coerced? Have they been told they can end their participation at any time? (Some survivors here say they were coerced and deceived into remaining after 18.) Not yet sure if there is any traction there. We'll see.

Auntie Em

296
The Troubled Teen Industry / Act now! Reminder to write/call to Congress about programs
« on: December 14, 2007, 10:38:33 AM »
Please do, hurrikayne. That would be great.

Auntie Em

297
The Troubled Teen Industry / level of education attained by program parents and...
« on: December 13, 2007, 07:12:34 PM »
Oz girl wrote:
Quote
This indicates to me that there are 2 sides to every story but that no program will listen to the kid's side fully because it would then be out of business.

As soon as the label "troubled teen" is slapped on a child, the child's credibility is diminished or wiped out, and the parents' credibility is increased. I was astonished to see how quickly and effectively this worked in my own family. A normal teenager with good reason to be angry with her father and the world (my niece) got labeled as being "not normal" and now some in the family talk about how she was always an emotionally unbalanced child, though they can never cite any examples for me of abnormal behavior they themselves witnessed. They repeat the story told by her parents about times when she raged at them, or embarassed them in public (gawdfabid!).

This credibility gap would perhaps be less of a problem if we had a system in which the child had a process for legal appeal. For example, if you file to have someone declared mentally disabled and therefore unfit to make decision for themselves, the court is required to appoint legal counsel to represent the person, and an independent representative of the court (like a nurse or social worker) is required to meet with the person and make an independent determination/report for the court as to his or her mental capacity. The burden of proof is high. If that type of process were required for programs, I believe far more children would escape being sent to programs.

Auntie Em

298
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Caroline the Wolf
« on: December 13, 2007, 06:34:35 PM »
Re the urgency of writing to Congress about abuse in programs, be aware that the programs and their supporters are organizing and mobilizing pro-program parents to contact Congress.

Don't miss this chance for your voice to be heard!

Auntie Em

299
The Troubled Teen Industry / Act now! Reminder to write/call to Congress about programs
« on: December 13, 2007, 04:22:53 PM »
This is a reminder that Congressman George Miller is expected to hold another hearing in January about widespread reports of abuse and death in programs for troubled teens. Research is being gathered by the Government Accountability Office.

Programs and their supporters are actively organizing parents to write to Congress. Do not let them speak for you!

Please send your letters or make your phone calls now to Rep. Miller and Gregory Kutz of the GAO.
 
Links/Info:
Congressman George Miller
1333 Willow Pass Road, Suite 203
Concord, CA 94520
(925) 602-1880
Fax: (925)674-0983
[email protected]

Video of the Oct. 10th, 2007 hearing before the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Education and Labor http://edlabor.house.gov/newsroom/multimedia.shtml

GAO report in PDF, entitled "Residential Treatment Programs: Concerns Regarding Abuse and Death in Certain Programs for Troubled Youth." http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d08146t.pdf

Auntie Em

300
CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Caroline the Wolf
« on: December 13, 2007, 04:14:40 PM »
I wish parents were more aware/mindful of the power differential between students and staff in programs. It's fundamentally dangerous. When staff members have so much power to control students, and students (some of whom may have learning disabilities, mental illnesses or history of trauma/loss) have so little power, there is an inherently high risk of abuse. Add to that the profound isolation of the facilities...a recipe for abuse, as many of you know all too well.

This should be brought to the attention of the GAO and Rep. Miller, if it has not been already, because it has bearing on the need for oversight of the schools. (I know not all of us have confidence in oversight, and most are worried that it will be insuffient or toothless). I'll include it in the letter I am writing to them. I urge each of you to write your own letter over the next few weeks as there is another Congressional hearing expected in January.

Related Links/Info
Congressman George Miller
1333 Willow Pass Road, Suite 203
Concord, CA 94520
(925) 602-1880
Fax: (925)674-0983
[email protected]

Video of the Oct. 10th, 2007 hearing before the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Education and Labor http://http://edlabor.house.gov/newsroom/multimedia.shtml

GAO report in PDF, entitled "Residential Treatment Programs: Concerns Regarding Abuse and Death in Certain Programs for Troubled Youth." http://http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d08146t.pdf


Auntie Em

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