Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I went to Catholic school for grade school, but turned away from the Catholic church because I just didn't believe the things they were teaching.  

While staying faithful to Jesus himself, I explored other things( science, nature, sociology, Wicca...).  I was inspired by Jesus, and I realized that many paths are good, and work for different people.  I think instincitvely, I always knew that.  

As I recently read in a book about Hinduism- "God's house has many doors"

I came to be a very "spiritual" person, and well-rounded (I like to think).  

My current boyfriend is aethiest.  For awhile, I had a problem with that.  Like, he couldn't float in a pool at night and look up at the stars and feel their wonderful energy...he just doesn't believe it!  I thought, what can I possibly share with this person?  

He is very smart- a PHD (physiology) and MD.  But he doesn't believe in any sort of "metaphysics"!...just because he has not studied it or seen the evidence or proof.  I tell him, just because you have not seen it does not mean that it is not so, and you should have an open mind.  I guess we just believe in different science.  

Lots of Christian people really freak me out, like how they say it's their way, or eternity in hell.  I do feel sorry for them, because I think they are missing out on a lot by shunning other paths.  But I also feel like my boyfriend is missing out on so much, by shunning all paths.  He is from China (his grandparents were Buddhist), and he has no desire to go to a temple to meditate or read or pray or anything!  

Is there anybody here who is spiritual in any sense, and has dated or married an aethiest?  I am becoming more comfortable with it, but would like to hear from others.  

Any input is appreciated.  Thanks.

Yeah, for sure the worst experience of my whole life.  Totally embarrassing, too.  I have to sort of make some things up, to fill in the blanks, when asked about my schooling.

Amanda-  I know what you mean, about "bad friends"...when I was at Provo Canyon, my parents were allowed to make a list of people I was not allowed to receive mail from.  A "restricted list".

The night before I left to go there, I went through my phone book, and made up names and "pager" numbers, because my mother was convinced that anyone who had a pager was a "drug dealer", so I wanted to just see how ignorant she really was.  Of course, all of these faux names and numbers appeared on my "restricted list".

But there was one girl who was on the "restricted list", whom I was real good friends with.  I could never figure out why she was "restricted", and my mother would never give me a straight answer.  

When I was a older, and out of the program, I knew this one guy, he was lots of fun.  His parents shipped him off to some short-term RTC.  I was so excited when he came back, and he was like "I don't hang out with anyone who 'uses'".  I was like, "what do you mean?  are you saying that if I smoke pot once in awhile that you cannot hang out with me?  even if i don't do it with you??".  That was in fact what he meant.  I thought that was so weird.  I don't really know whatever happened to him, but hopefully he was able to find a more balanced perspective.

However, like I said before, like having one friend in prison is understandable, but if *all* my friends were in prison, that would be kind of strange.  You've got to set high standards for yourself, because no one else can do that for you.  I find that diversity and variety are essential.  Just keep that in mind, from someone a few years older than yourself.  Good luck.

Deborah-  it's the doctors *job* to "intervene"!!  If you don't want that, then birth your babies at home!!

If doctors allow for extended labor, as I said before, the chance increases that the baby will go into distress, thus needing an emergency c-section, and increasing the chances for a less-than-optimal outcome.  If an ineffective labor continues, the baby's heart rate can drop, easily, and they can become low on oxygen, easily.  This is very risky.   Again, doctors do this to protect the baby as much as they do it to cover their own butts.  

And if you had such a specific birthing plan (no pitocin, or whatever), WHY did you not discuss this first with the care provider??

Amanda-  again, I have to say, if most of your best friends are in AA, then I am worried about you.  

Thats like saying "All of my friends used to be in prison".   Okay, one of my best friends is in prison, but he has a very interesting story, and was convicted of one of those "victimless" crimes.  But if *most* of my friends had been in prison, well, that would just be embarrassing!  It makes you look like... :wstupid:

"Rn on board"-  How are you able to differentiate an "alcoholic" from, say, a "problem drinker"?  (other than the jaundice).  

I *have* looked into this.  I learned about it in school.  Also, when I was 19, I was charged with "Driving after illegally consuming alcohol", which meant that I was *not* legally drunk (for an adult), but because I was a drinking minor, and there was "zero tolerance" at the time, then it was illegal for me to drive cause my BAC was 0.05.  (legal BAC for an adult being 0.08)  My parents thought it was pretty ridiculous (I had just come from my mother's dinner party, where I had had maybe 2 glasses of wine). So they got me a very good lawyer, and all I had to do was go to ASAP (alcohol safety action program), and there was nothing on my record.  

At ASAP, they provide education on how to recognize "problem drinking".  Then they require that we all attend like 8 AA meeting over the 8 weeks of the program (program was like 1 or 2 hours per week).  They admitted that many of us likely were not alcoholics, but that we should go to AA just to know that it is available.  

So we went to AA, and I thought it was really weird.  I was like, okay, so ASAP provides tools to recognize "problem drinking", but offers no real methods for dealing with "problem drinking", just "go to AA"??  

Now, I was quite young at the time, and not in nursing school yet, but I found this to be a disservice.  

So, though people may have "alcoholic genes", still it takes practice to become an alcoholic, right?  Even if one does have serious "alcoholic genes", doesn't it make sense that, if you intervene early on, it is possible to teach these people to moderate their drinking?  

I simply do not believe that this is not viable, as I have seen too much evidence to the contrary.  I know lots and lots of people who have the "alcoholic gene", and provided they had guidance early on (usually from a parent), these people are able to drink alcohol like normal people.

I also think that a Moderation Management (organized) program should be available to people (like Weight Watchers is), and that teenagers should be educated about this at school, and I think this would prevent some people from really going off the deep end, later on.

"RN on board"-  do you ever recommend alternatives to AA?  Have you heard of Moderation Management, or would you ever recommend just moderating ones drinking?  I think that, with a bit of guidance and structure, many people can learn to moderate their drinking, without resorting to AA.  Are you saying that your *teenage* child was an alcoholic??  Teenagers, especially, should be taught moderation.  

Amanda- you are right, though.  AA is not abusive, not like those programs are.  And people should be free to find whatever works for them, (religious, educational, ect...) It's just that AA seems pretty extremist, and, like a cult, rejects any methods other than theirs.  

Thanks for the feedback.

That sounds something like "in-house suspension"- something they do in public schools in DC metro area (well, I know they do it in the suburbs, where I went to junior high school).  The kid goes to a small room, with up to 2 or 3 other kids, and one teacher, and they sit in a small cubicle for the school day, and their work is sent over by their teachers.  

I had "in-house" only once, and it was real boring.  I finished my work, and wrote letters to my out-of-town friends.  The teacher acted all huffy about me writing letters.  

I remember hearing people saying that some kids had been locked in the room (while the teacher went out for a bit), and that that was a fire hazard, and the room was on the second floor and there would be no way out in the event of an emergency.  I'm not sure what was ever done about that.  

Anyway, I don't think this is anything new.  Just another reason why I would never sent any kid to public school.