Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Hi Matt,

I think I remember you.  Is Shane unc an ex-staffer and native indian too?  We were very good friends and I would love to know how he is doing.

That's great you're helping people.   Congratulations.
I majored in Psychology in undergrad but was too scared my scarred history might affect how I related to people.  It's been better for me to make art.

Soon, I may start making art with homeless and abused children.  Hoping this will be therapeutic for them and me.

Elizabeth[ This Message was edited by: future.air on 2004-08-17 05:23 ]

I've wondered about Dave and Barbara?  But I don't know.  I heard Eric M. lived in Maryland and had a landscaping business with Trevor after his divorce from Melissa J. but I'm not sure.

That was me, I forgot to log in.

Hi starstruck.

How long were you in the program?

Just remembered another staff member name ....
Bradee Minnik.  Also, Jasun Harrus.  I think he was a staff member??  
I spelled the names by pronunciation instead of  correctly so as not to breach confidentiality.  (the google search arguement on one of the other posts)

There was also a married couple.  Pale funny guy with light red hair and a mustache and woman with long dark hair she looked like Amy Share it ,



Also Dion and Dante...they always got called on.[ This Message was edited by: future.air on 2004-08-12 20:29 ]

yup. I think he was overage, court-ordered.

hi.
No, I don't have any questions right now.  But I'll let you know if I do.

I enjoyed the cable analogy. There has been static in my life for a long time.  I didn't want to subscribe to the channels that brought back pictures of the years in lock-up.
I'm not sure if she knows about this site.  But a couple months ago when I found this site it was a big shock.
It took me another couple months to have the courage to start posting.

Thanks for saying during a fight you need reassurance too.  The few times during heated moments I've attempted to understand his fears  it  really helps.  
I need to get better about assuring him that it's not his fault and keeping the focus on the initial anger -usually rooted in the past.

You obviously love her very much.   Everything you are doing will most certainly let her know you are dedicated.

Hi.
I wrote the coping mechanisms post.  

I am a survivor and my boyfriend is struggling to understand.   I don't consider it to be psychobabble.

For so long the trauma was reacting instead of me.  I am attempting to understand PTSD and all of its specific ramifications.  With each person, I'm sure the pain is expressed differently.

My boyfriend gets scared of my anger too and he, at times, has left with no explanation.  Leaving, with no exchange of safe affection, COMPLETELY triggers the feeling of abandonment I felt when my parents dropped me off in that abusive hellhole.  

Saying,  "I love you I will be back in an hour or I will call you tomorrow at 10am I want to talk to you when we are both calm enough to not be abusive, usually works".

If you can hug her when she's freaking out that is like heaven for me.  In Straight, we were unable to express anger or fear. Usually only shame, regret and remorse for the wrongs we did in the past.  Raps were focused on the past and hopes of the future.

I KNOW, this requires a hell of a lot of strength when the other person is having an irrational and INTENSE reaction that goes way beyond the present and initial trigger.  It is important to remember it is not about you.  My boyfriend has a tendency to take it personally.  It triggers his feelings of inadequacy and then we get trapped in a vicious circle.

In my experience, identifying the issues is helping!  Differentiating the past from the present is key to my personal recovery as well as the potential success of my relationship.
I support you for working so hard to know the woman you love.  That is admirable.   Please continue posting.  It helps me to hear the other side.  

All the best,
Elizabeth