Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

The suicide of Jon Avila was fairly well-covered by the press in the Northwest.  I name him here because his name has appeared in several newspaper articles already.  His parents had stayed at RMA for several days after his death and spent considerable time talking with students and staff in an effort to absolve their guilt.  No suit was ever filed.
 
http://www.isaccorp.org/cedu/rockymount ... uicide.pdf[/code]

I graduated in 1993. I know Jennifer Pentland and knew Alison Gomes and Eric Estevez. Why?

I was also at RMA while your brother was there and would have known him to some degree.  The school went through some major changes while we were students and that led to about 1/2 of the long time staff leaving over a 2 month period.  PM if you have specific questions and I'll see what I can do to address them.

I went to RMA.  My mom had heard about the school from a friend-of-the-family who sent his daughter there in the 1980s.  She had been in the first peer group.

This is an interesting and thought provoking thread to me. I don?t identify as a survivor of the program though I certainly remember being emotionally abused by some sadistic staff.  I never felt like the abuse I suffered at RMA was in danger of destroying me though.  It was injurious and was sometimes disorienting, and people were certainly cruel at times, but there were plenty of nurturing and caring people around me too.  In fact, I experienced more care and nurturance than not, and it was certainly a more positive balance than the family I came from.

I have a trauma history that predates being at RMA and I can?t compare those experiences with what I experienced at the school.  One set of experiences was life and soul threatening to me; the other set didn?t come close.

Your idea though, that for some people the program just jived with some internal sense of the world and our place in it, definitely has some merit in my opinion.  When I think about RMA, I think of sadistic people, not a sadistic program.  I never felt injured by what I learned; I felt injured by those trying to teach it to me.  Or in some cases, I felt injured by staff that I think were simply injurious. Any conflicts I have had with the program, some 15 years later, have been when I have found something to be too limited, too simplistic, or too extreme (yes or no; do or don?t do etc.).  My conflict has not been with something being ?right? or ?wrong.?  For me, it has been about learning nuance and about grappling with my limitations and the limitations of those I love.

In thinking about your question, I think that there are probably three factors that influence how I understand my RMA experience and why I don?t see myself as a survivor where it is concerned.  1) The program did jive with some existing internal representation that I had had; 2) I went to RMA with a trauma history.  While some experiences at RMA exacerbated my history, the program certainly didn?t rise to the level of being a trauma experience in and of itself. 3) I had way more people at RMA who treated me lovingly than who were cruel to me.

Take care, M

Hey Scott, yep, its me and you guessed my folks as well.  Private message me and I'll give you my e-mail address.

Best, M

Hi all,

I have undergone a number of background checks -- 7 in all -- as part of my profession as a psychotherapist, prior to entering a graduate program, prior to working on a government funded grant and earlier when I was a safer sex outreach worker.  Where I went to high school (RMA) has never been a part of any background check I have participated in. I also used to process a portion of a background check for government security clearances when I worked at a university. Most background checks (different names in different states) include arrest records, convictions, incarcerations, and unresolved charges.  Higher-level governement-related security clearances also include a check of all past employers, dates of employment and the reason for your leaving.  They will also confirm receipt of college and advanced degrees.  They may also include credit checks (though those require your separate consent).  Medical records, including stays in an inpatient psychiatric facility (Cedu schools were registered hospitals after 1992) are part of your protected medical record that cannot be sought or disclosed without your written consent (part of HIPAA, see http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/ for more information).  

If you are applying for a job that asks whether you have ever spent time in a psychiatric hospital or sought psychiatric help (as is the case for some government security clearance processes) it will be up to you to disclose your stay at a Cedu school.  Your medical records are not maintained in some master database ? that may change in the coming years but for now they are maintained wherever you sought care (or in our cases where care was sought for us).  I do not recommend lying if you are seeking this level of security clearance but please keep in mind, I have undergone a background check multiple times without ever being asked.

Best, M

Hey Brent and Elanah,

This is Mark.  I was there at the same time as you, peer group 43, I think.  It is nice to know that you have both landed on your feet and are doing well in your respective lives.  I make my home in Boston with my partner and dog, earning my living as a psychotherapist in a local outpatient clinic.  While I too reflect on my experience there as much more helpful than not, I do try and control who I tell about my time there (hence no last name).

I am in periodic contact with Nick, Brit, and Jennifer and Jessica P.  The last time I saw anyone was 2 years ago when I was visiting with family in California. A group of us met for lunch and everyone was doing pretty well on their respective paths. It was fun for me and surreal for my partner.  He is freaked by tales of RMA and knows surprisingly little about it.

Vickie Jones literally ran into me last summer.  It was an odd moment.  As she passed me on the street I recognized the back of her head and called out "Vickie."  We had coffee and caught up, it was nice but odd to run into each other 2,000 miles from Idaho.

Feel free to drop me a line.

Best, M