Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I had always enjoyed the emotocons before this new format, but ever since the change I can't get to'em.  See, if I click on to "show more emotocons" the screen will come up, but as soon as I click onto the first emotocon I want, the screen disappears and I can't get it back. Therefore I've basically lost access to all my favorite emotocons.  However, I have noticed that as I'm closing my windows and logging off the last screen I see underneath everything else is that damn emotocon screen sittin' there lookin at me like a tease, I just can't ree-each.  Is there any remedy ??

Howcome even when I'm logged in the screen doesn't change to blue and gray anymore ??

I read the book a couple weeks ago.  There were a few paragraphs that I thought were particularly poignant so I thought I'd post 'em here.

These highlights are all from Chapter 9, which is where Maia finally cuts to the chase after building her case outta individual stories in the previous 8.

Page 249:

"...The atmosphere in the programs - in which emotional attacks are unrelenting, privacy is non-existent, sleep and food deprivation are common, and the person has little if any control over his environment - is exactly the type that research has found most likely to produce PTSD.

The more researchers learn, in fact, the greater the evidence becomes that being put in any kind of situation of total powerlessness for a significant length of time has the capacity to produce lasting damage to the brains' stress system, especially when it happens to a young person.  This damage has been linked not only to PTSD, but to increased risk for depression, addiction, other mental illnesses, and even immune-system disorders and cancer..."

Page 251:

"...Kids report simply being thrown into the programs'daily activities with no opportunity to process what has happened.  Their perfectly rational anger, hurt, and desire to escape are framed as pathological 'denial,' which must be broken down until they reach 'acceptance' and come to praise their captors and keepers..."

My comment: Psychological whiplash!!!!  This is where the trauma all started for me. Right on day 1.  Sometimes I still feel like I'm in shock.  I think that's part of what PTSD is...living in a state of constant emotional shock.

Page 252:

"...tough love programs impose greater restrictions and limits than most parents would set for grade-schoolers.  Such a developementally mistimed intervention is unlikely to foster healthy familial connections and emotional growth, even if the child complies..."

Page 253:

"...for teens in these programs, there are no opportunities to begin to explore romantic relationships: contact with the opposite sex, let alone dating, is barely allowed.  Friendships are impoverished by the constant pressure to 'turn in' ones' fellows for misbehavior, and the depth of the betrayal that can result when secrets disclosed in confidence are used to advance a 'friend' at your expense.  Tough love participants are left behind to play catch-up in almost every life area.  They are also socialized to behave in ways that aren't conducive to relational health.  For example, as Kyrsten Bean described it, the WWASP program made her so hard on her friends that they became afraid to turn to her when in crisis because she was so judgemental and blunt.  In the outside world, most people don't believe that it is appropriate or helpful to prod people in their emotional sore spots -- but tough love participants are taught that this is an act of love for which they should be thanked..."

My comment: God damn!!!  I can totally relate!!!  This is exactly what I've been tryin' to explain for years, to my friends, who can't understand why I struggle so much.  $tr8 was so fucked up in so many ways.  They made me sick.  I mean just when I was about to enter manhood and seek my place in the world and in society they completely and totally removed me from it, spent years brainwashing me into socially unnacceptable and socially stunted behavior and then released me back into the world just at the age when I should have been self-supporting and independent.  I mean it's crazy to me that they even expected me to be able to function socially at all, after everything I'd been through...WTF was I supposed to do ??  I was homeless and semi-homeless off an' on, but mostly on, for about a decade after $tr8.  Even now I live on the fringe of society.  While my friends went to high scool and college and dated girls and got married and started famillies and kept jobs I struggled just to understand why I couldn't keep a job or otherwise relate...And not to say that I would have necessarily wanted all those things, but it would have been nice to have had the choice and not have my circumstances dictated to me by the abuse I suffered at the hands of $tr8.

...When I was copped out from $tr8, hiding out in the woods, listening to the birds in the trees, following the path of the stream.  The Sun seemed to shine so nice.  I was completely alone.  Mostly I never sat still.  I covered about 10 miles a day just movin' around.  Runnin' in the narrow stretches of woods between sub-divisions that connected what little forest was left at that time around Fairfax and Burke.  I couldn't take the chance of bein' seen so I never came out of the woods during the day.  I shoplifted to eat.  The police were looking for me.  Sometimes they would question people I knew and I would hear about it later or one time the police investigator who was chasing me gave me a message through a friend to call him.  I called him from a pay phone.  It was a brief conversation.  I didn't tell him anything and hung up quick and got movin' again, in case they had traced the call.

The stillness I am referring to was in my mind.  I had very few possessions.  My mind was very focused.  I was undistracted by anything.  I kept very little company.  I hardly ate.  I slept in various places.  I was a tramp.  

How can I even describe the sense that I had at that time ??  The one I can never forget or even seem to leave behind ??  It's like certain doors were opened to me because I had travelled so far to get to that point.  I had left the world behind.

I had no home.  No Family.  No money.  No shelter.  I knew I was bein' unjustly persecuted and with only the clothes I wore, a sleeping bag and a knife, I felt fine, in my alone-ness.  I felt strong and independent.  My mind was my own.  My mind was still.  I was comfortable with myself and who I was.  

I learned something from livin' like that.  $tr8 had severed all of my mental attachments and then I severed myself from $tr8...I had nothing and wanted for very little.  There was a certain strength and peace of mind that I had.  The only thing I feared was capture.

I had been completely on the outside.  Livin' there.  

In a lot of ways I'm still there.

Who wants to sell me at half price or give me a copy of Maia's book, "Help At Any Cost" ??  I don't have much money, but I want to read it and I will pay half price for a used copy.

Dear Tech team'

What is "GMT" time ??  You know it says down in the corner of the board: "All times are "GMT"  I can't figure it out  :lol:

Also, how-come when I click onto an emotocon after clicking onto the "view more emotocons" I can only click onto one(on that screen) and then the screen disappears and I can't get back ??  This kinda sucks, cause I really liked all those silly emotocons.  Thanks.

... :skull:...

See what I mean...?? I tried to click onto the skull and then the dove but once I clicked the skull the screen went away and no matter how many times I patiently tried to click back to it, it won't come up. Uhh, I really was kinda into the skull AND the Dove.  

Piracy and Peace.

Slippery Rock township, Butler County, PA...

Some way cool cat has been goin' round spray-painting a large number of the road signs in northern Butler county.   The cat must a spent an entire night spray-paintin' every sign he/she came to.  You can drive for miles around Slippery Rock township and you can't escape the message!  "Stop" signs now read "Stop War" and the sign that formerly read "Watch Children" now reads "War Watch Children Die".  Righteous man.  If I knew who this anti-war activist was I would shake their hand and smoke a big ol' fatty with them.

End War!!!  Create Peace!!!