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Messages - psn

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here are the ones I remember:

Truth
Youth
Friends (I think it was called the brother's keeper @CEDU)
Brothers/Sisters
Heroes (the les miserables one)
Imagine/the Source
I & Me/the Dialogues
Summit/the Symposium

maybe i am forgetting one.

i would love any info on these propheets/celebrations/workshops. for the most part my memory is a black hole when it comes to these. what was the music? what were the exercises in each one? does anyone have the scripts or other information on these LGATs that were held out to be some sort of secret knowledge and revolutionary "therapy?"

the memories are coming back in bits & pieces, here is what i can recall
truth - run by paula rudy at cascade. she shared her dog-fucking story with us and then we had to share our "shame." at the time it felt like they could "see" our "shame," i now believe they had some sort of dossiers on us with information gathered from our parents. i remember being pressed over and over about all my sexual experimentation and having to say that these were shameful disgusting acts. don't remember anything else other than a few other people's fucked up forced confessions. song - tell it all brother

youth - nothing - song - forever young?

friends - nothing - song - he ain't heavy he's my brother

brothers/sisters - i remember the part in the sisters when we had to wear bathing suits in front of everyone, then get up one by one (still wearing bathing suits in a freezing room) and tell what parts of our bodies we felt uncomfortable with (sorry ASHAMED of, they loved to shame us) and then talk about all of our sexual exploits yet again and talk about how horrible and bad they were

heroes - lots of les miserables. i remember no exercises. there were a bunch of les mis related narratives read by "older" students and a ton of music from les mis

the source - i remember the "trump" was them coming around and handing us pictures of us as children. song - imagine

the dialogues - I vs. Me. No idea how we got there. I remember feeling completely torn apart afterwards. I also remember being incessantly fucked with in every forum (raps) afterwards using that I & me nonsense until I had a complete breakdown. I remember the breakdown happening in a forum. there were some fight songs? rocky? an elton john fight song? there were then "fights" i remember that i was sore for at least a week after but don't remember from what?

symposium/summit - the "stretch," where i had to put on a skimpy costume and crawl around and tease a bunch of dudes to show that i was some kind of manipulative seductress until the staff felt sufficiently entertained, some statement with our name for which the staff had already predetermined what trite adjectives we "needed" to be whole, the rocking which had some bizarre religious overtones and some counselors that really creeped me out got to whisper in my ear, the "feast"

that's all i can remember, any more would really be appreciated!

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Quote from: "damanamanit"
Michael and Danielle Algood
Art and Gayle Tilles
Michael and Heather Cruciano
Merv and Mona Maier
Craig and Barbara Cass
John and Marci Padgett
Eric Meltzer
Paula Rudy
Ron Cavenaugh
Neil Weston
Tom Kray
Michael Golceker

As far as I knew they all came from Cedu....maybe I am wrong...not certain.
1985-1987
I believe Paula Rudy was a CEDU student who came to open Cascade and then later became staff. I think Carl Janowitz also came from CEDU. I remember Elaina Geltner saying that she was either former CEDU or RMA staff or a former program(med) student...don't remember what the deal was there.

I didn't know John and Marci Padgett came from CEDU...they were responsible for the horror known as Amity School in Italy.

I would love to know the "real deal" on any cascade-cedu staff. Who were these people before Cascade? Who were Art & Gayle Tilles? Were they Synanites? CEDU staff? were they ever in the CEDU program? What about Barb & Craig & EVM? I know Allgood's deal. What was Carl Janowitz like @ CEDU? Did he go through the "program?" Same goes for Elaina and Paula.

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I am not sure who wrote this post, but I was at Cascade from 96-98. I had some wonderful teachers there who were a welcome break from the weird cultiness. I didn't take classes from everyone, but if you happen to be Minette Riordan, Luis Aceval, Larry Tripp, Joe Loverde, or Lance Miller, I am very thankful I had you as a teacher! Each of those teachers introduced me to something profound and their insights and guidance are still with me today.

I have heard from other former staff about how abusive the school's hierarchy was and I am very sorry that you all had to experience that as well. Please know that for what it's worth, your misery granted some students like me a brief reprieve and we will never forget it. I hope you are well and happy now.

Quote from: "Guest"
I have to say I was overjoyed when I heard The Cascade School imploded.  That place destroyed my life in many different ways for many years.  I don?t know about a lot of the accusations here, but if the way I was treated by the school is any indicator, I have to assume a lot of it must be true.  It also confirms that as an employee of The Cascade School, you weren?t much better off?and just as likely to get chewed up and spit out by "the founders? if they deemed it necessary.

I was hired to teach at Cascade in the mid-90s, leaving my graduate program and my entire life behind to move to Redding.  I visited Cascade and bought into what I saw?I really felt like teaching and working directly with kids would be a great experience.   They really needed a teacher for this subject, so I was heavily courted by the academics director.   There were a lot of drawbacks--the salary was minimal, it was in the middle of nowhere, and having to miles every day back and forth from Redding made me hesitant.    Cascade also did not offer teaching contracts, and would initially hire me as a long-term sub for the first six months.     This made me nervous, but the academic director assured me that this was a mere formality, and short of me being totally incapable, after six months, if I were doing a good job, I would be hired on.  I was like a lamb being led to slaughter.

I spent the next six months kicking my ass, establishing a non-existent curriculum, textbook, a rapport with kids and staff, going to forums, and spending personal time doing activities with kids, etc.  I enjoyed working with many of the students, but admit that it was physically, mentally and emotionally draining.  Having to drive up and back to Whitmore every day was often a challenge, especially with the weather concerns.  Also, having to participate in forums after teaching for 8 hours a day was especially taxing.  However, I liked what Cascade seemed to be doing for kids, teaching them about integrity, ethics, respect, responsibility, etc.     So I trudged on, thinking this was all going to pay off.  I also set up my life in Redding, anticipating this would be a permanent thing for awhile. I set up an apartment, purchased furniture, etc.  It seemed like things were going well.

Then, at the six months point, I made an appointment with the director of academics to discuss my being hired full time.  But somehow the meeting was always delayed, and I started to get nervous.  At the same time, another teacher had suddenly ?disappeared? and was replaced.  This person had been doing a good job teaching at Cascade for years, but apparently this person was deemed obsolete by one or all of "the founders?.  So the Cascade trap door opened up under her----and was immediately replaced as if this person had had never existed.  Students and staff were forbidden to talk about the former teacher.   I should have seen the writing on the wall.

I finally had a meeting with the academic director, and I discussed all of the things I had established at Cascade.  He agreed, and also said he had been to my classroom and I was doing a good job with students?and recognized that I was liked by students, and had a good rapport with them.  However, he informed me that ?the founders weren?t ready to commit to me at this time?.  I was in shock, and asked why this was, since I had done an outstanding job.  His response was that this was a corporation, and that they had to make academic choices carefully---or something to that effect.  I was at a loss, and reminded him of what he had told me initially about the long-term sub being a mere formality, and that I would have never have left my life behind and gambled so much if I had known that my being hired was to be subjectively determined by other issues besides my overall performance..  I told him I felt like he had misled me.  He basically told me that he had never made such a claim, and then said something I still remember?talking to me as if I were some deluded child:  ?sometimes when we want something really bad, we let ourselves believe things that really aren?t true.?  Suddenly my eyes were opened, and I realized that all of the values promoted at Cascade: integrity, ethics, responsibility, honesty, etc. were things they preached?but didn?t necessarily practice.  Obviously they knew they had me where they wanted me, and given that I had given up everything to move there?and had gone into debt as a result of setting up my life there?there was no way I could walk away.  I also destroyed the transmission of my car carpooling four adults up that mountain, so was also in debt for another 2000 as well.  The plan was obvious?string me along until the end of the year, see if anything that made the school look better on paper came along?and if so, fire me?and if not?hire me.  I felt totally demoralized, angry and trapped.  However, I was a lot less naïve, and began to recognize so truths that I had been unwilling to acknowledge before.

In my opinion, although the program was ideal for some, a lot of the kids at Cascade didn?t belong there.   I was not privy to all the information, but it seemed like the biggest problem for a lot of kids was simply absentee/inept parenting?and Cascade offered itself as a quick fix for scared parents with lots of money.    It also seemed to me that a lot of accomplished, overachieving parents put unreasonable expectations on their kids?which caused the kids  to opt out and embrace alternative lifestyles where they could OK about themselves.   I think many students would have been better served by alternatives that included more parental involvement and change, instead of the drastic measure of banishing your child to a therapeutic boarding school.   Don?t get me wrong?there were definitely students who needed  drastic intervention?but it seems like a lot of kids (and parents) were done a real disservice, possibly making them believe that Cascade was the place to be.  This also makes me question whether or not intensive therapy (i.e. forums, etc) was necesary or healthy for all students.  But unfortunately, the professionally-trained counseling staff were just employees, and so I think a lot of the determinations on whether a student ?needed? Cascade fell on founders?which Ifeel was a blatant conflict of intere$t.

I really don?t know how good the educational program was at Cascade, but they were accredited, so it had to have been at least acceptable.  I do know there were a lot of amazing teachers there.  Unfortunately, the professional administrator involved (the academic director) was just a façade and puppet for the founders---people who really had the  final say in the important decisions about the school?but who had absolutely no training in education or educational administration.  Obviously their bottom line was what looked good on paper?not what was working?or the commitment to professionals that had invested themselves in the school and their students.  That is why they made no commitment to staff, and made it very clear that you could disappear just like that if you didn?t tow the founders? line.   I also know founders used students to get info on staff members and used it as a way of keeping things under the fascist oligarchy-like state they had created at Cascade.  

In any case, the reality check about Cascade and my situation really broke my spirit.  I kept doing a good job, and liked working with the kids, but it was hard to continue working in a place and for people who I felt had betrayed me.  I had traded the life I knew and my education for a long term sub position in a school in the middle of nowhere?and had nothing to show for it but debt.

Not long afterwards some guy showed up who was interviewing to teach the subject I taught for the following school year.  They made it seem like it was for another position, but having a crystal clear understanding of ?the founders? criteria?and seeing that this guy had more credentials and looked better on paper than I did?it was obvious what they were doing.   To parade this guy in front of me was not only demoralizing, but completely offensive.  Not long  before the end of the school year I went to meet with the academic director, and as I suspected, he told me they were going to ?go another way? with this teaching position.  At this point I was angry and depressed, and at this point felt like I needed to at least get a letter of recommendation out of this year.  I obligingly finished the school year and unceremoniously left Cascade with nothing but the letter in my hand?and my tail between my legs.  Ironically, it was many of the students who came to say goodbye and were sad to see me go?I was touched by that, especially since I didn?t get even so much as a handshake from the ?founders?.  But then again, I had never been anything more than a long-term substitute all along.

I left Cascade virtually broke, in debt, and stranded in a place that would provide me no equal job opportunity.  I had to survive on unemployment, and eventually was forced to file bankruptcy.   I finally recovered both financially and professionally, but it took years.

I have now been teaching for many years at a public school where I know my knowledge, skill and performance are valued and appreciated?and where I can count on benefits and job security that can?t be taken away on the whim of a handful of individuals who have no training in the field.   I learned a lot about the realities of the world at Cascade, but unfortunately they were costly lessons.  

I can?t really comment on a lot of the individual founders, but I will say I feel like they dug their own grave by running Cascade without any kind of objective rules or checks and balances that made sure people didn?t run the place on a whim?or exploit the school for their own personal/selfish agendas.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and I think given the combo of power, money, and location, they started to believe they were beyond reproach when it came to what they did or didn?t do at Cascade.   The mantra when it came to my situation was that it was a corporation, and that whatever was in the corporation?s best interest was what mattered most.    Hopefully that wasn?t the case when it came to students, but I guess I will never know.    I just hope that the accusations of molestation posted here are lies?I would hate to think any of the students at Cascade were victimized there.  Many of those kids had already gone through a pretty hellish existence, so to think about someone abusing that trust and taking advantage of their position can be called nothing but evil.

Michael A. I only saw on occasion?eating with certain teachers, and snuggled up in the main hall with certain male students who I am sure went on to have lucrative modeling careers.  During the time I was there he only made guest appearances, and the few times I was in the same room with him I don?t even think he knew who I was or acknowledged my presence.  He seemed to foster this Wizard of Oz-like presence over the school.  He was more present after when the school went through a mini-rebellion, and so he stepped into supposedly bring things to order.   He seemed like a self-absorbed prick to me, so my anonymity seemed more of a blessing than anything.   A few years ago I saw him and his friend at a bar (I am sure you can assume what kind).  I was tempted to go over and tell him off, but I stopped myself, because I realized I would?ve just been wasting my time.    I think there is only one person in this world that really matters to him, so I figured I?d let sleeping dogs lie and let karma continue kicking his ass.  I am glad to see that is exactly what is happening.

I still think about a lot of the great kids I worked with and wonder what became of them.  I can only hope that they were also able to transcend anything negative about their experience at that school, and that they went on to be happy and successful.  I think of them often when dealing with my students on a daily basis, since my experience at Cascade allowed me to learn to be not only a teacher to my students, but a person who genuinely cares about them and their well-being on a personal level as well.  That goes a long way in this field, and allows me to make a real difference in young people?s lives?which is really the only thing that matters.

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hi there, i did pathfinders from nov. 95 - jan 96. i was in the black range and the jornada. staff i remember are sarah, willie, terry, jim, and brad. fellow programmers i remember are ben (still grateful to you), mindy?, and guilio.

i have big black spaces in my memory of pathfinders; i remember some pretty frightening encounters with willie, them forcibly cutting off my hair, the pain of hiking with a pinched nerve, ben's compassion, and the amazing vistas, mike parr's hideous spitting face and plumber's butt...and the horrible set-up of my "graduation."

i know they broke me but i can't remember how. the feelings are overwhelming and at times very confusing.

i am also looking for a later "grad" of pathfinders who became a dear friend of mine at cascade...claire van den brandhoff (platinum blonde from holland)...if anyone remembers her or knows how to get in touch, please let me know!

i welcome contact from any other "grads" at prianka dot nagpal at g mail.

also, what an awesome escape story! i felt to scared and helpless to even try, though i did fantasize about it!

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