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CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones / Broken...?
« on: October 07, 2008, 12:58:15 AM »
I ALWAYS knew the things that happened at CEDU were wrong. I’d ended up at CEDU because a computer predator had made me his target and my parents got some bad information from a shrink on what to do about it. I fought the program tooth and nail for months after my arrival in July of 1994. Eventually, they sent me to Ascent for splitting and I BEGGED my parents to not return me to CEDU in letters that were ultimately never sent to them.
When I did arrive in Running Springs again, I was pretty grateful for having my 5-minute shower everyday and something resembling a warm bed. For a little while, I received some small amount of positive reinforcement from the staff/students and reacted like a caged animal that had been thrown a bone. I was even willing to play the game, lay low, not get in trouble and point a finger if it meant saving my skin at someone else’s expense.
Once the false indictments arose again I remembered why I knew I didn't belong there. Then, over a period of 6 months in a series of very lucky events (some planned by me, and others that had to be divine intervention) I managed to get pulled out. I spent a total of one year at that hellhole. Did I break? No. I still have myself. That will never change. However, it's now my responsibility to glue together the broken pieces of my strange history. I’m an adult now; it’s my job to care for myself. They didn’t break me, but they did do some serious damage. Repairs are in progress. Unjust? Sure it is. Such is the nature of the human condition. I suppose I'm lucky to still have my sanity and what's left of my intelligence. Still, I wonder what I could have accomplished if CEDU hadn't imprisoned the plaintiff. Death would have been a kinder fate.
When I did arrive in Running Springs again, I was pretty grateful for having my 5-minute shower everyday and something resembling a warm bed. For a little while, I received some small amount of positive reinforcement from the staff/students and reacted like a caged animal that had been thrown a bone. I was even willing to play the game, lay low, not get in trouble and point a finger if it meant saving my skin at someone else’s expense.
Once the false indictments arose again I remembered why I knew I didn't belong there. Then, over a period of 6 months in a series of very lucky events (some planned by me, and others that had to be divine intervention) I managed to get pulled out. I spent a total of one year at that hellhole. Did I break? No. I still have myself. That will never change. However, it's now my responsibility to glue together the broken pieces of my strange history. I’m an adult now; it’s my job to care for myself. They didn’t break me, but they did do some serious damage. Repairs are in progress. Unjust? Sure it is. Such is the nature of the human condition. I suppose I'm lucky to still have my sanity and what's left of my intelligence. Still, I wonder what I could have accomplished if CEDU hadn't imprisoned the plaintiff. Death would have been a kinder fate.