Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

*chuckles*
Now this brings back memories.
I recall people trembling when getting called into her raps. I never had trouble with Carmen though you would never know that such a petite lady could yell SO loud!
I can't say that people screaming at me at the top of their lungs taught me any great wisdom. But I do recall moments of compassion when I was struggling with family.

On 2005-05-26 05:37:00, blownawaytheidahoway wrote:

". Carmen?s raps were deep. Even deeper than the average rap and as I walked out of my first rap with her, I was resolved that this was NOT the place for me. I had never been a junkie and I had never been to jail. I was fourteen and this place was insane! Carmen had almost every person in the circle crying at the same time. I don?t know how to explain it.

 I do, but it?s hard to get across.

 I can only explain it from the point of view of an older student even though I wasn?t one in this particular rap. Carmen had the power to tell your family head how you were doing. Therefore, she could have you on work assignments for weeks on end, or she could tell your family head that you did whatever it was that was expected of you. You might get to get off campus for a milkshake or a basketball game at the gym in Bonners Ferry. Of course leaving campus was almost an impossiblity for the first year, though. Let?s say the rap started and there was an indictment about someones bathroom habits, or they are not clean enough, this degrades into an embarrasing commentary on the persons acne. Carmen insists that there is more to it than sanitary measures and claims to know that this person is ?holding on to something?. She calls the girl dirty and a liar. Another student jumps on the Carmen?s bandwagon and takes another pot shot at the girl from Carmen?s half of the circle. Carmen springs out of her seat and switches to the other side to take the seat next to the sobbing girl who has already at this point told us all the slutty things she has done in her life and that?s why she has acne. Carmen lays a hand on her back and blasts back at the guy who tried to get a point at the girls expense. Carmen rails him. She really lets him have it telling him he?s so full of shit. A tremendous kissass and a waste of resources in the community. He?s terrified, he?s not sure what he?s going to do. Neither are we. Noting the lull, Carmen demands of the older students in the rap to get honest and tell this kid what they think of him. Three people, like synchronized machines stand up and switch sides of the room and begin to yell. When one stops to breathe, the other two take up the slack. The whole time, Carmen is multitasking. She?s like an executive with three phones in front of her, and each one is blinking and bleeping with high end client on the other end shelling out thousands to get a few minutes on the phone with the woman. She was comforting the girl who is sobbing about her confidence issues; she has just had everything she?s ever done exposed by people who hardly know her. At the same time, as facilitator, she?s encouraging a full- scale attack on a kid who seemingly allied himself with her just a few moments before.

It was confusing. The kid who was trying score a point is now in tears and Carmen is asking other parties if they feel like doing some work. The older students see a double opportunity in this: Firstly, they can skip any of the humiliation of being indicted in front of all the kids, but they have to put on a convincing show of being upset and empathizing with either the bawling boy or girl. If they play the cards just right, they too can have the comforting hand of Carmen laid upon them. They too can know that they have escaped ?having another asshole ripped? for that day."

Wow, it's been a along while since I have been to this forum. I am saddened to see claims of sexual abuse by former students. I can't say I ever heard of such a thing while I was a student there. I am not discounting anyone's experience and I truly feel for you if you did experience abuse of any kind. While I do not agree with all the CEDU philosophies, I did take a few things that have helped me. After spending close to six years in and out of EGBS, I learned to take what works and leave the rest. Twenty years out also helps. *lol*
I do wish for those that are hurting and struggling to find peace. I had a really hard time adjusting to the real world when I got out, fell on my ass more times than I can count.
It takes time to acclimate all this stuff, it did for me anyway, and sort through what rings true and what does not.
I am here for anyone who wants to talk about their expereinces. I am no therapist, just another who was there.